Knowing a Rock and a Hard Place
by Rozzlynn
Summary: Post-TLA. When an old enemy shows up alive and desperate for aid, Isaac tries to do the honourable thing, but the day's events soon derail everyone's plans. Chapter 10: "Have you been getting obscene messages from the gods?"
1. Mineral water

Knowing a Rock and a Hard Place.

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"I've travelled far and I burned all the bridges,  
I believed as soon as I hit land.  
All the other options held before me  
Would wither in the light of my plan."  
_Kings of Convenience, 'Homesick'_

Chapter 1: Mineral Water

For exactly the six thousandth, three hundred and second time, Alex thought back to the last few words he'd been left with. So if the world swallowed him, he might die? Who'd have thought? True, he had considered himself immortal and invincible for a few seconds, with good reason, but from the next few moments of fear and panic up until now, circumstances had only made this memory increasingly unbearably bitter. Why warn him, anyway, of the trap it had prepared when it was too late to keep that fact from being etched into every empty second for half a century now, and presumably the rest of his existence? That… rock… It was pure cruelty.

Even now, Alex was still surprised whenever his hatred for Vale's guardian surpassed all previous intensity. It had happened thousands of times, though it was the only thing that made him despair too deeply to finish counting exactly. He sometimes tried to stop himself counting every similar thought so morbidly, or noting how every second built up into hours, days and years, but he inevitably picked it up again each time. After all, these were hardly the most depressing distractions available. If he were still a mere human, Alex was sure his emotions alone would be enough to kill him, but the only limitless power he seemed to have received was how to consciously bear limitless torture.

Reaching his life's goal had been pure bliss. Few people ever obtained mediocre goals like fame and fortune, while fewer still really accomplished anything, perhaps by founding a town, winning a war or raising a continent. As one of the last descendants of the ancient Mercury Clan, Alex knew how the world had lost its magnificence. His first clue had been his first view of Mercury Lighthouse, the graceful tower, blue as the sea and sky behind it, making the thatched huts of Imil look primitive in comparison. He'd known Mercury Lighthouse since… Since a time he no longer remembered. Probably the day he was born.

Alex did remember his first time inside. He'd been five, following his grandmother through the glowing doorway for his first lesson in Psynergy, with that girl Mia, six then, following too. They'd both enjoyed their chance to practice forming little mists and droplets in those otherworldly halls. Mia had been glad to leave by the end, though, getting homesick after barely half an hour. Alex had only wanted to see more. As soon as he'd learned Ply, Alex would set off whenever he could get away from the busy village unnoticed, enduring the long and tiring fifteen minute walk to the lighthouse. Each time, he would make the doorway glow, climb as high as he could, then wander through the corridors, always stopping in a room with a balcony and sitting there for hours, watching the sea far below shimmer between the little carved pillars.

For a long while, Alex had paid little attention the dusty piles of books and scrolls that lay in the rooms farthest from his grandmother's well known route. He would have asked her to read them to him, but she never gave any indication that she knew of those relics. She never even entered the lighthouse without good reason. Everyone was wary of the tower, seeing it as theirs to guard but not to linger in, explore or feel at home in. Alex didn't get it, but he knew that they wouldn't understand him either, even though he hadn't in those days been able to put his finger on the reason why.

Eventually, curiosity had led Alex to search through the most colourfully bound old texts in search of anything as enchanting as the tower around him. The mysterious designs and vibrant landscapes soon led him to put more effort into learning to read at home, so that he could understand the text beside the illustrations. He still hadn't managed to get far through the more difficult books, but by the time he was ten, Alex knew enough to start seeing bustling Imil as a bleak remnant of the past. He grew up knowing that there had been a time when Alchemy placed the very elements of reality in men's hands, realizing that everyone around him was content to while away their short lives in a land of scattered villages and xenophobic tribes. When his grandmother died, he let Mia take care of most of the duties of Imil's healer, mainly because the only concrete task in that set of traditions was to guard the Lighthouse. To keep it forgotten and secret. Alex dealt with other people with vague politeness, not trusting anyone with his opinions, and they seemed to assume there wasn't much to him, a quiet boy whom Mia sometimes talked with.

Alex had begun to hear what was possible at age thirteen from the Mars Clan, when the Proxians first passed through Imil. A heavily bruised pair of warriors came to replace food and medical supplies destroyed in a storm, buying enough food for a far larger party and enough medicine to treat the whole town. Alex had followed them back to their camp in the woods to the south. It had been quite bizarre. From the top of a tree, Alex had watched the strange pair approach a boy, two men and a woman, all of whom were sleeping in thick, comfy sleeping bags near a warm fire, with tightly knotted rope round their wrists. The warriors woke each one up in turn, changing their bandages and making them answer a set of (by the sound of it very boring) questions about their health and drink a freshly prepared medicinal potion, but all with an attitude of disdain and detachment. Once their captive patients had all drifted off again, the warriors simply sat by the fire in silence, looking so incredibly grief-stricken that Alex knew he couldn't possibly leave until he'd discovered what was going on. Climbing down as quietly as he'd approached, Alex replenished his half filled water bottle with Douse, picked a hatfull of nuts from the heart of the bushes, and strode into the camp claiming Mia had sent him with a gift for 'the bruised couple from out of town'.

The two Proxians had instantly been suspicious, drawing their weapons and demanding to know who he was, why he'd followed them, who'd sent him, what he intended, what he knew… Alex had been slightly shaken at the time, not used to so much attention and certainly not used to having (clearly frequently used) weapons pointed at him. Fortunately, Alex found he actually had less to hide from those with no fondness for Imil than from everyone else, as the Clan itself was no secret and his opinions on it hardly mattered to these strangers. Once they had some idea who he was, the warriors had started to consider him potentially useful. They'd probably thought they were dealing with a scared little Adept, a more sympathetic and suggestible audience than the people of Vale, since they had been quite forthright about their efforts to secure help from his village instead.

Saturos and Menardi had told him bitterly of their home, Prox, where everyone had strange powers like him and Mia, but originating from the fiery side of Alchemy; of their lighthouse, built for Mars rather than Mercury, and the fate their leader Puelle claimed was drawing near; of how six had trekked south through the snowy mountain passes, heading for Vale to claim the Mars star that had been taken from its rightful home long ago, its potent Alchemy needed now to protect its corner of the planet; of how, immediately upon entering Vale, it had been clear no-one in the village had the slightest idea what Mt. Aleph really was, and how the mayor had made it clear that whatever Prox's situation, prying wasn't welcome; of how the two warriors had led their party's secret midnight expedition, and been the only ones to escape a trap, an eruption of chaos, lightning, monsters, poisonous vapours, spiked pits, shifting stairways, fire and brimstone… All because they had moved a statue. How Menardi had seen her husband die. How Saturos had seen his wife die. Because of a statue.

It had struck Alex that Mia would be serving the same purpose as this trap if there was ever a chance to actually light Mercury Lighthouse; she would try to keep it from being disturbed. He'd wondered whether she would ever resort to murderous violence, or whether that was a mountain thing. Of course, he knew the answer now, and it wasn't what he'd expected...

He had heard how the sleeping figures had been seen drowning in the river. Mt. Aleph had even attacked the village outside, triggering a storm and an avalanche. It had felt strange, according to Menardi. They'd seen the boy first, Felix, floating unconscious so close to the shore there had seemed little risk in wading out to save him. Then the others had appeared, struggling against the deepest, swiftest currents, and Felix had woken up for long enough to beg them to save his parents. No matter how dangerous it was, the Proxians wouldn't quit against this mountain, and they had very nearly drowned themselves as a rain of sharp rocks started to follow the earlier boulders. It was like a trap, Menardi had insisted, one where the villagers were the bait. It had almost seemed like there was something behind the storm, some malevolent entity that would go to any lengths to finish them.

Alex knew now what that had been. The 'Wise One' had caught up with them in the end, and now it had practically finished him, too. He wondered sometimes whether everyone else who had wanted to free Alchemy had suffered a similar fate. Karst and Agatio, Felix and Jenna, their parents, Kraden, Piers, Sheba, Mia, Garet, Kyle, Ivan, Hama, all the soldiers and citizens of Prox… Such a lot of people, but anything that could defeat him could kill them. Someone must have lit the final beacon, and Isaac had apparently survived to be given a share of a dream that only Alex had done a thing to earn. Maybe he should have asked the all-seeing eye for the news before he addressed the weather.

The two Proxians had known they needed to secure more power to beat Mt. Aleph, and keeping the villagers as hostages had seemed a good start. For that, they'd had to keep them alive. Half crushed and half drowned, the hostages had needed more treatment than their few remaining supplies had allowed. A detour further south had been necessary, to take what they needed from Vault, then from Bilibin as they progressed. By the time they'd reached Imil, they'd taken enough money to buy what they needed, which seemed like a good idea, considering they'd have to stick around a few days to allow the hostages to get their strength back before they started moving through the mountains further north. At that point, waking up and walking for half the day, still too tired to even be very annoyed at being kidnapped, was the most they could manage.

Besides, stopping should give them some time to talk. The three adults seemed to prefer trying to sleep most of the time, probably not wanting to take it all in yet, but the boy Felix had started to talk to his captors surprisingly openly about Vale. Menardi suspected he was trying to make the Proxians empathise with the Valean point of view, despite having heard and understood Prox's story. Whatever the reason, they'd already heard about Kraden, a sage they could have approached for help, considering he was studying Alchemy and had also come from somewhere out of town. The warriors wanted to find out everything they could before they crossed the mountains, in case the journey killed anyone.

"So what's your position now, kid?" Saturos had asked bitterly. "Let me guess. You're sympathetic, but you just don't like us."

Actually, Alex had been impressed. He'd never seen so much confidence, despair or ruthlessness in anyone in Imil. He'd never known there was a star to light his lighthouse, to return Alchemy, to make his secret history a reality. He had to read all those old books, and find out everything. He couldn't lose these people, couldn't lose his part in something big. Alex told Saturos and Menardi that he'd do research for them here in Imil, then join them before they returned.

"I suppose you could help. We'll probably be back first, burning that mountain to the ground. Otherwise, journey to Prox in a few years, if you find anything useful. You can tag along." Menardi had offered, her voice shaking as she tried to speak dismissively.

"You're still going to have to prove yourself before we trust you with directions." Saturos added. "We won't have you sending off some sort of rescue party for the hostages. They'd only get slaughtered in Prox, if they ever made it that far."

Theirs had been a strange way of caring, Alex thought. Such a hostile way of worrying about more Valeans getting hurt. Alex had been able to convince people he was far more considerate, if it suited him. All the Proxians had wanted him to do was steal food for them throughout the week they stayed. Very easy. He was the healer's assistant, the Mercury Clan, above suspicion. He'd taken every opportunity to stay and eat with the warriors; they were better company than his neighbours, as well as more informative. They looked like demons, and they never moved without purpose. Alex had found Felix equal parts fascinating and repulsive; he'd been a couple of years older, but he'd acted far younger, snivelling about his family and complaining about problems beyond his control. Talking to him had been like watching a fish suffocate on dry land; Alex hadn't been able to tell whether he'd rather nudge it back into the water or poke its eye out with a stick.

Two more years of study had told Alex all he needed to know. He'd spent more time in town, helping Mia with her healing, trying to develop his Psynergy and secure a good reputation. He'd wanted to practice telling people blatant half-truths without ever making them curious, practice getting people to trust him instead of letting them avoid him, in an effort to prepare for life among strangers whom he needed to impress. He'd been accustomed to overhearing conversations that painted him as a black sheep who would come to no good; after a few months, he started to hear his neighbours talking about how well he'd shaped up, crediting the change to either Mia's efforts or her assets, and predicting that he would someday wish to marry her and help her lead the town. Mia never appeared to wonder whether the rumours were true. Since the gossip didn't cause the two of them any problems, Alex counted it as a success.

His time alone at Mercury Lighthouse was still far more valuable to him. Sometimes he practised his other Psynergy there, the jets of water he'd started to use against wild animals in the forest, a way of fighting that he'd need in the mountains. Sometimes, on the most unreal of days… Well. Alex would never forget how warping had come to him… Mostly, though, piles of old volumes would sit by him on the balconies as he worked through them, making notes and memorizing everything. A few, the least ancient, talked of wars and plans to seal away the power that inspired them. The stone of sages would be as far beyond human hands as the stars above, as Alchemy would be drawn into the four glass 'stars' that had previously only been infused with white light atop the four celebratory elemental Lighthouses. If Alex could find a way to light all of them, not just Mars, it would all be released again, meeting in the centre where the stars had been stored as a golden ball of light condensing into pure reality and potency… On that mountain, Alex could effectively become god.

He'd burned all the books on the night he left. Others would be passing through the lighthouse soon, so he left no trace, just an empty tower. Reaching Prox wasn't the hard part; that was convincing Puelle they needed all the Lighthouses lit to save the town. It was probably true anyway. Venus was lacking if the land was falling away. Alex hadn't needed to worry about respect and privacy. Prox was loud, lively and honest, a fiery town acting up against the cold landscape, not like slow, calm, snowy Imil. The Proxians didn't know what to make of Alex, so polite and helpful. He could twist anyone's words against them if they weren't doing what he wanted.

One year of preparation. He'd watched Saturos and Menardi train against each other, and with the other soldiers and warriors. When they weren't training, he'd helped Karst and Agatio research routes to and through the other lighthouses. He'd seen Felix trying to practice his Venus Psynergy on his own, trying to get the soldiers to teach him how to use a sword, trying to read all of the books Karst would let him borrow.

When everyone had thought the next expedition would only be to Vale and back, it had apparently been assumed that Felix would stay in Prox with the other hostages, so that pressure could be put on Vale to find and give away the Mars star. With the change of plans, it was clear being given them all was probably too much to hope for, and Felix had asked to come with Saturos, Menardi and Alex, a small enough group to accomplish everything with stealth and speed. Felix had argued that if they were going all around the world, another sort of Adept might be useful, and he wouldn't run away, because he truly wanted to help this desperate town. That fact was obvious to everyone except the two warriors he was trying to convince. The older Valeans were a part of the community by then, missing their family back home but unable to hold anything against anyone except those two, who had insisted they weren't taken home until Prox was saved. Felix hadn't fitted in as well, since the youths of Prox were considerably more suspicious of the world they were getting so isolated from, and he was quite desperate to start making a difference somewhere. Saturos and Menardi had agreed that he could come along and help out, but he had to follow their orders or his parents wouldn't be following him out of Prox. Felix agreed, as long as he got some say in how they treated Vale; keeping everyone except Kraden from getting involved in any way, and if anyone got hurt again, helping without kidnapping. What a handshake that had been.

Alex had taught himself a little swordwork, out of sight of the others. It didn't amount to much, but he'd never planned on using it, and he'd never had to. He had simply needed a sword at his belt on the quest. Even Felix carried one. Alex had been the youngest of all of them, at the start, but he'd never worked for anyone else. Just with, and then in the end, without. Throwing all those warriors at Mars Lighthouse had almost worked, but Alex didn't know what more he could have done…

At the peak of Mt. Aleph, Alex had expected an exhilarating future. Throwing his hands in the air, calling for thunder, wind and rain, for catastrophic storms, he could already imagine the elements roaring and shaking, rejoicing with him the power running through the skies and through his veins. He'd wanted to laugh and shout and tell the world he was here at last. He could have battled an army, run across the oceans, flown to the sun, blown up the moon, and then started to really explore the limits of his power, determined only by his eternal imagination. He could have had forever to do whatever he wanted, could have reinvented the world however he chose, and he had been about to remove the obsolete, poisonous little village below him… When the world fell apart in his hands, and the universe shoved him to his knees.

Alex knew that however long he lasted down here, the mountain's collapse would always be his most vivid memory. As he was lying there, paralysed, the ground had started to sway and shiver sickeningly, and Alex had felt that first chilling, creeping fear. The tremors only worsened, and as he started to fall back down the mountain he'd climbed, feeling the pain with newly sharpened senses, it had been the first time he had ever experienced total terror. He had no idea why he kept running through it all again, but every few years his thoughts returned to that sharpness, so similar to the blunt emotions he was swamped with now. It was all just despair at the core, wasn't it? He had always assumed his new powers would be accessible in an instant. His old Psynergy had been washed away, though, lost to a vast new power with unknown restrictions. On that mountain, still thinking like a Mercury Adept, he'd tried to break through the paralysis that lingered after the Wise One's attack, tried to erode it, swamp it, smash it into fragments, but nothing raised the slightest flicker of power from within.

By the fourth cliff face, his many broken bones and the torn gashes all over him triggered his first useful ability automatically. A soft warmth started to heal him slowly and protect him slightly, though it did nothing for pain or paralysis. Feeling for where this energy was coming from, Alex was quickly able to boost it, before mentally exploring the rest of this unfamiliar Alchemy. A new sort of horror soon dawned on Alex. While some of his power would be shared proportionally with that boy Isaac, such as his extended lifespan, most of the power the guardian had drained from the golden sun to keep from him in case he had escaped consisted of anything the senile sadist considered too destructive. This did still leave him many of the abilities he'd expected, considering how much more it takes to create than destroy, but he couldn't fight with this power, couldn't set things alight or bring them crashing down. He couldn't summon weather more chaotic than a sunny day or a light drizzle, couldn't tear two things apart, couldn't eradicate anything, couldn't wield a force large enough to crack an egg unless he did it by hand. When he'd attacked the guardian, he could only have been gently wobbling it… The only way he could have escaped would have been to constantly put enough energy into moving to cancel out the effects of the guardian's curse, without ever permanently ridding himself of it. With only a finite amount of power available, which could prove to be insufficient for the task, Alex had hoped he wouldn't have to match too great an effort.

Before he'd even begun to attempt escape, though, scraping down one last crevice had brought Alex within sight of the gaping fissure Mt. Aleph was rapidly sinking into. In his last few seconds above the surface, Alex dropped everything else without a thought to power the shield protecting him, an act that only just saved him from being ground to dust. Caught up in the cataclysmic shifting of rock deep inside the planet, he was carried down for miles, desperately hoping not to be crushed but believing himself doomed every second of the way. He didn't even notice the broken bones he hadn't gotten around to healing anymore. Being swallowed by the earth was beyond terrifying. Alex knew this was how the ancient guardian of Alchemy hoped to kill him.

Eventually, he came to rest between a slab of submerged sandstone cliff and a vast expanse of granite, both of which were dented where they'd scraped past him. For the next few days or weeks, he didn't remember thinking a single thought. He finally found himself staring blankly ahead in total darkness, having by some miracle maintained his shield even while in shock, but he was in an awful condition physically. After diverting even the little healing power that had been automatic, his body felt like it belonged to some impossible corpse. It certainly hadn't helped that, although starving would never kill him now, it could have every other effect. Despite the pain, Alex was too scared to weaken his shield any more than he had to in case it failed him, and so with the patience of a brave coward, he dragged out his healing for seven years. During all that time, he'd been able to distract himself from other thoughts.

Once all his wounds were reduced to bruises, though, Alex wasn't in enough agony to avoid thinking of the world above. Alchemy would have been unleashed on the world for seven years then, fifty by now, and he still didn't know what had come of it. Could everyone wield Alchemy, or only the Adepts, descendants of the ancient and powerful people who knew it last? Were the great civilizations of old being rebuilt? Did any of them even deserve it at all? While Alex had always had the patience to avoid unnecessary conflict, he had no real respect for the common villager. The people of Vale were a perfect example; so closed minded they didn't understand the power they withheld from the world, mankind's ability to grant every human wish; stubborn enough to refuse the Mars Clan any aid when another village was threatened by destruction; low enough to send out two ignorant children to fight against Prox's last chance, sending them into a death match against those who should have been their allies. Isaac and Garet had killed Saturos and Menardi then taken up their cause! If that didn't illustrate perfectly the sort of self defeating stupidity and short sightedness that governed most people's behaviour, nothing did.

Still, Alex had allied himself with those he didn't care to know any longer than necessary. As he had once told Felix, it had quickly become apparent that Saturos and Menardi were aggressive idiots, and unlike himself, they'd needed their family and friends threatened before they'd felt pressed to act. Despite all the knowledge that had been left to those of Mars Lighthouse, Alex had been the only one to want to return Alchemy to put back what should never have been taken away; the others saw it as the only cure for one problem or another. He'd hoped to see the world changed for the better, most specifically to give himself the chance to live an outstanding life, after working so hard for that chance.

Alex knew there were enough smart and powerful people around to appreciate Alchemy now that it had fallen into their laps, even if he couldn't really guess what they had done with the planet by now. It truly stung Alex that he _should_ be the one shaping the world up there, but now that he'd finally become the most powerful man in the whole of Weyard, he was trapped, amounting to as little as the mud beneath mankind's feet. For years, aside from wishing he was in their place, this bitterness made it hard to care how the populations of the world had prospered or suffered in his absence. Inevitably though, just as he despised the poor state of the lands he remembered, Alex could only hope people had achieved something decent by now with the power he'd left them. There were even a few people he had known who had potential.

The events leading to the firing of the final lighthouse had not included much of a role for his old acquaintance Mia, but it was in her nature to get swept along whenever change was too rapid. She would settle into slow moving times and work with them to the best of her ability, no doubt becoming one of the most valuable members of any community. Alex had once thought that as another member of the Mercury Clan, she might share his interest in their Clan's lost golden age, but despite how much she tried to achieve in any given situation she had shown no interest in superior historical situations. He'd always kept his distance even from her since then, and she'd respected that without really understanding. Now her ability, should she have survived, would be much increased, she might well be one to try and fully use it, ending up in an influential position even if she didn't naturally seek out status.

Felix, too, might have accomplished a lot by now. Alex hadn't spoken much with the boy from Vale while they were both travelling with Saturos and Menardi. It had been clear he hated what he was doing to the people of his hometown, a pointless sort of sentimentality that may not have affected his determination, but certainly led to conflicting feelings, making him seem far less reliable and effective than the Proxians. Felix had seen them through Venus Lighthouse, but until then had served as little more than a babysitter for the other hostages. Felix's time in Prox had shaped him more effectively than Alex had first suspected, though, as he'd proved by taking control of his group after Saturos and Menardi's deaths and actually making good progress, even recruiting that boat's owner rather than simply managing to take the boat as Alex had planned. By the time Alex had found more Proxians, they hadn't really been needed, but anything that sped things up was to some extent worthwhile. After all, Felix's big disadvantage had been his tendency to dawdle, to get distracted. If he had really found enough strength to lead his group successfully to the end, that boy must have somehow made a name for himself by now.

After the first two decades underground, with so much time spent considering such issues, Alex began to realize that he missed these people. In all the years he had been surrounded by others he had vastly preferred his own company. Now, for some reason, he wished other people were around just so he could see their faces again. If a mere twenty years encased in solid rock could do that to him, Alex feared for his sanity now after fifty. Suppose he lived out his full, probably thousands of centuries long lifespan down here? What sort of wreck would he be by the end? Once he had realized where thoughts of other people might take him, Alex had tried to avoid them, often going for months thinking only of himself.

Focusing on his present situation seemed the most constructive thing to do, anyway, even if it was similarly frustrating. When he'd first finished his healing, Alex had started to explore his Alchemical abilities further, since his shield seemed to be working fine with a little energy spared. He'd found he had been altered more deeply than he'd realized by the golden sun; when he focused on it, he could recall anything he had actively thought or seen in the past perfectly, he could feel the state of every organ in his body and consciously adjust automatic functions (on a whim, he once stopped his heart for a week and moved the blood around his body himself), he could sense the exact density of the rock for half a mile around him, and he could concentrate on about ten different thoughts at once. The really useful ability in his situation would have been a way of getting out, but as he couldn't do anything to remove the rock above him, these powers seemed pretty much useless. He had even considered simply letting himself die, but he couldn't really bear to give up, so he had turned ever more to his thoughts instead. After the rather disturbing twenty year landmark, he renewed his search for any possible escape with fresh desperation.

If there had been a crumbled fragment of a seed case down here with him, Alex was fairly sure he could have figured out how to gradually rebuild the seed and give the plant the strength to grow, forcing apart his prison. There was nothing. He felt for water, hoping to divert its flow to someday erode through to him, a river in which he could form ice and expand pebbles into boulders to speed things up, but he was too far down to find anything. He tried making a patch of rock immediately above him grow, thinking it might cause a fissure, but he ended up almost crushing himself. He was the only one who could force anything past his shield into his skin. Over these past thirty years, he had despaired of anything good ever happening again.

Six years ago, growing incredibly frustrated, Alex had tried to divert a little more power away from his protection to see if he could feel further, even though his instincts told him it was at its limit. A fraction of a second of slightly higher heat and pressure had nearly killed him, before he put the power back. Having a little more healing to do was always painful, but still a welcome distraction. It had been a relief and a disappointment when he had finished a year or so ago. Since then, he had been thinking through all the elemental powers that had been accessible through Psynergy, reasoning that as the elements were the building blocks of Alchemy, this might remind him of some aspect of his powers that he hadn't tried.

He was on to Jupiter now, going through the Psynergy he'd seen from those two children, Sheba and Ivan. The wind controlling abilities wouldn't do much good down here, and he wasn't going to risk trying to somehow fly through rock, so that mainly left telepathy. Though he could block them, Alex had no idea how those kids actually read minds and didn't have anyone here to try it on, while the only instances when he had heard telepathic communication had been in the lighthouses (from unidentifiable elemental guardians), and in his meeting with the guardian boulder of Vale… Hatred once again flared up in Alex at what that rock had put him through. He seemed doomed to die down here, like it had hoped. Alex knew he was crying again, another thing that never used to happen, as he pictured that rock slowly and painfully imploding for the seven thousand five hundred and fifteenth time.

Bringing himself back to the subject of telepathy, only as dispirited as usual, Alex wondered how he might try to broadcast a message. Did he even want to contact anyone, to plead for help? Was it worth being stuck here forever if he never tried? Was anything worth anything when every one of his hundreds of last hopes had failed? Alex decided to try asking for help, and if that failed too, he wouldn't make himself live with another humiliating memory. His existence was pathetic enough already. If this didn't work, then at long last, he would let himself die. Giving it his best guess, Alex mentally yelled,

#Hey! People! Can anyone hear me? Do you know who I am? Just… Someone please help me…#

He'd really done it. He was finally leaving, one way or another. With a million regrets, he was about to finish with it all, when he got a horrible shock. An answer.

#Eh? Is that… Is that Alex? How in the world did you...? This is Isaac. What's going on?#

He'd actually received an answer. A real person replying. And somehow, Isaac sounded as young as he had in the old days, when they had all talked together and everyone could see what everyone else looked like. When there had been a sea and a sky. Overwhelmed by violently mixed emotions, Alex ended up sending Isaac the mental equivalent of an exclamation mark.

#I'm pretty sure that's you, Alex. Where are you? If you're alive, what have you been doing all these years?#

Alex thought he sensed a hint of fear and anxiety in Isaac's mental voice. What did Isaac have to worry about? What exactly did everyone up there think had happened to him?

#Rock. Nothing, forever. That's all. Rock, and only rock!# Alex spat out the words as if he were violently swearing.

#Right… Hold on, I'll get the others. We _might_ be able to help you, Alex, but you've got an incredible amount of explaining to do.# Isaac broke the connection and gazed around his bedroom in Lemuria Palace, totally bewildered. This was the last thing he'd expected at three in the morning, fifty years after Alex's miraculous death.


	2. Forever Friends and Family

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"We are the veils that veil us from ourselves."  
_R. D. Laing (1927-1989)_

Chapter 2: Forever Friends and Family.

Isaac mentally cast around for one of the five djinn that shared his rooms at Lemuria Palace. They didn't sleep much, and they usually had more luck than him when trying to wake the others up without getting something heavy thrown at them.

#Granite? Would you mind fetching everyone? Thanks. Tell them it's an emergency. Possibly a catastrophe.# Isaac sat back, relieved. There wasn't much he could do on his own.

#Granite!# Alex snarled, startling Isaac again. He had clung to the link between their minds and had heard every word. #How can you mention granite now, when it's still here like it's always been? When it's a dead end staring me in the face? You said you'd help me leave without it claiming everything, but it isn't gone and never will be. If it weren't for you at least I'd be clear of it by now!#

#Okay, okay, I'll go, you can leave on your own!# Isaac sent back quickly, worrying about where Alex was going and what he was planning on doing there. Would he be a threat to the world again? Why hadn't he made a move for so long, if he was alive after all?

#No! No! You can't go!# Alex yelled, terrified again. #Please, just get me out of the world and back into the real world. I… I'll do anything…# Once more Alex was disgusted with himself, at how little his pride meant now, but he couldn't be left alone again. Any future was better.

#Fine! Calm down, and tell me where you are.# Isaac tried to get things sorted out, wishing the others would hurry up. Alex wasn't making much sense, but at least it didn't sound like he had a new plan to conquer the world mapped out.

#I told you already. In the world. In the earth. And if this is the heart of Weyard, it is a remarkably heartless place.#

#You're underground?# Isaac started to translate. #Cave, tunnel or basement? Are you near any particular town or city?#

#Just in the ground, perhaps under more of it than I'm over, I really can't tell. I suppose it's nearer Vale than anywhere else.# Alex hoped his patience would stretch a little further. It always used to be so easy.

#Vale? You can't mean that, can you? Unless… Were you not there on Mt Aleph when it destroyed Vale? Did the Wise One lie to us all?# Isaac was stunned. It was a bit much, history being rewritten in the middle of the night.

#Don't call it wise!# Alex shouted venomously. #Nothing it did was wise! You call this the result of a wise decision? I never thought _you_ were so cruel! Or did that rock change you too? I stood on the slopes of Mt Aleph as the golden sun formed, and I remain on the slopes of Mt Aleph. Was half a century really not long enough for you to figure it out? Or does everyone know about me? Are you all leaving me here, wishing me a slow and painful death?# Alex despaired again, hurting so much more after letting himself hope. It wasn't just that rock, the whole world hated him. Well, what had he expected from a rotten planet? Why should it matter what other people thought? What every other person in existence thought… He really should have killed himself before he slipped enough to ask for help.

#You were buried alive? All this time?# Isaac couldn't help but feel horrified as everything suddenly snapped into place. He had lived to help people ever since he was seventeen, and despite everything Alex had done long ago, Isaac started to pity him now. He knew the others would feel the same way eventually. It looked like they'd be bringing back one of the worst men in history after all. Isaac hoped he wasn't making the wrong decision…

The first of Isaac's friends teleported in from one of the symbols installed along the opposite wall. Felix looked alert even at this hour, and he'd come fully equipped and armed. After taking in the large, empty room with a puzzled frown, he asked Isaac, "Where's this emergency?"

#Hello? Isaac?#

"It's Alex," Isaac answered quietly, ignoring Alex's voice for now. Felix _had_ to be brought up to speed first.

"Which Alex?" Felix asked. "Is that kid in Nariwbe in trouble, or has Alex of Yallam found something important?"

"It's _the_ Alex. The one we knew," Isaac corrected him urgently. At this, though, Felix just started laughing.

"Good joke, but you probably shouldn't wake the others up for this. I don't think Jenna and Garet have been getting much sleep these last few days with the work they're doing in Prox, and Mia certainly won't be amused."

#What are you doing?#

"It's not a joke!" Isaac protested, throwing a small fireball at Felix. "Get serious! He was caught up in Mt Aleph's collapse as we suspected, but he didn't die, and he didn't escape either. He's just been trapped underground, losing his mind by the sound of it, and now he's asking for help. Listen in."

Felix frowned, catching the fireball. These were too many unbelievable statements too close together for a joke, and if Isaac was using the slightest bit of his golden sun power to show he was serious, it was proof enough for him. Felix nodded.

#Alex? It's me again, and I've got Felix with me now. If you're trapped underground, what do you expect us to do to help? You received most of the golden sun's power, even if the W- the rock put a little in me. We've all learned Alchemy, but you're the one with almost limitless power, so if you survived, what's trapping you?#

#It's quality, not quantity,# Alex sent back, confused. #If what your 'W-rock' gave you is what I didn't get, you might actually be useful, remember? Rock needs destruction. You'd actually be more competent than Felix here, but things change, don't they? Or why would you own the heart of my dreams in the first place, and a heartless heart trap one who, much to your surprise I'm sure, does have that heart you all doubted?#

#You're right, Isaac,# Felix joined in, much amused. #He is losing his mind.#

Alex didn't know what to say to that.

Before their conversation could get any further, Sheba teleported in.

"I'm here, everyone!" Sheba greeted her friends with a yawn as she appeared. "Piers is busy, I've just seen the ship's going to hit a sudden storm in half an hour and except for Briggs' kids this class won't be strong enough yet to be much help. Oh, only Felix is here already? That's the earliest I've ever been!" Sheba finished with a smile.

"Glad you're here." Felix smiled back. "I'm sure we'll manage without Piers. If there's a decision to be made, we'll give you an extra vote."

"There's a decision to make, a big one." Isaac sighed. "You'd both better mind read me or this is going to take far too long."

As she read what was happening, Sheba's eyes got wider and wider. Felix thought through Isaac's opinions carefully.

"You're probably right about what we should do," Felix decided. "This is too much punishment when Alex never got the time to actually do anything awful. We either finish him or rescue him, and it sounds like we might be able to manage him if we choose rescue. We must make sure we're safe before we do anything."

Sheba nodded wordlessly, still catching up. She was the first to figure something out.

"Didn't Alex say the golden sun gave him everything Isaac didn't get?" Sheba started. "Isaac, aside from your old Psynergy, you basically had the power to blow stuff up really well until you learned more Alchemy with the rest of us, right? So Alex doesn't have any really damaging powers like yours. That's why he can't get out. He might even be harmless!"

"I'll try to find out. He can't be completely powerless, can he?" Isaac replied. #Alex? What's kept you alive if you can't affect the rock surrounding you? What sort of abilities do you have?#

#You're still there? Wanting to know? I have discovery, protection, building, rebuilding, and I should have movement but for the cruelty of rock and the strength it owes me. You know communication, too, or did you think you were imagining me? Or am I merely imagining you?# Alex was suddenly scared he might have been deceiving himself with the voices in his head. It made sense. He was very alone down here. Fifty years had to be far worse than twenty, and that had turned him strange enough. #I think I am imagining you... That only leaves one thing now, doesn't it?#

#No! Don't kill yourself!# Sheba jumped in fiercely.

Isaac and Felix stared at her.

"Come on, you actually heard him earlier, don't tell me you didn't know what he was talking about!" Sheba whispered to Isaac. #Alex, we'll help you somehow, I promise.#

#You're Sheba. One of the girls I told Saturos and Menardi to kidnap. You always hated me. There's no way you're saying this.#

#If you'd never have thought I'd help you, then you can't be imagining me,# Sheba reasoned. #Now hold on, we all need to talk about this. We'll let you know when we've got a plan. Don't do a thing until then, Alex. We're going to change things for the better, and you will wait and see what that means for you, understand?#

#Wait?# Alex echoed, relatively calmly. #I... fine. For now.#

"You're still a Jupiter Adept at heart, aren't you?" Felix commented, impressed.

"Well, we know everything we need to know. We've just got to see what everyone else thinks without making anything worse." Sheba shrugged. "Ivan would do better; he's the one who studied mind games. I'm with the wind and rain now!"

Ivan appeared at that moment as if summoned, looking very tired.

"Sorry I took a while, I was trying not to wake up Keisha and the kids. Oh, and Hama told me that we should go with our instincts, and keep control with what motivated us in the first place. Sometimes, I still don't get my sister. So, what's going on?"

"Lots. You'd better mind read me too- or Sheba, actually, she's got a better understanding of this," Isaac told him. They were long past needing to ask if they could be trusted to read each other's minds.

Once Ivan had caught up, he looked far more awake and alarmed.

"Wow. This is tricky. How can we promise Alex help though, Sheba, when we haven't all decided what we're going to do about him? That wasn't in your explanation."

"I didn't put it in a very obvious thought, did I? Felix said it, though; we either save him, or put him out of his misery. Both are help."

Everyone in the room felt a pang of sadness at that. There was something about hearing someone like Sheba talking about killing people…

"Why were you so wholeheartedly compassionate?" Felix asked her. "Alex was right, he was the one who thought of kidnapping you, even if I thought it was those Proxians for ages. Just like he told us to kidnap Jenna and Kraden in Mt Aleph." Felix laughed bitterly. "He was efficient, I suppose, and kind when it suited him, but he would be ruthlessly cruel just as easily. I don't think he cared the slightest bit about anyone he ever knew."

"Who are you talking about?" Mia asked curiously. Felix turned around, as Mia closed the door behind her.

"Alex," Isaac told her apologetically. Felix had been right; she wouldn't find this very funny.

Mia stiffened a little at that name, but then met Isaac's gaze and replied, trying to keep her voice level. "The boy I grew up with didn't care about anyone in his life, did he? Everyone knows that. Why are we talking about this now? Granite told me there was something important happening. I didn't run down the whole East Wing of the palace in my slippers for nothing, did I?"

"Alex is the issue here," Sheba told her. "Read my mind for everything so far. And Felix, I know what he did, but that was a long time ago. I _was_ needed in Jupiter Lighthouse, and in travelling with you all… You know how much it meant to me, getting to meet pretty much everyone on the planet. It's still the biggest thing to put my mind at rest, even without ever finding out where I came from. Lalivero is where I spent my childhood, and now the whole world is my home." Sheba rubbed her wedding ring happily. "The quest was how I met Piers, and I'd never change the way that worked out. Alex was deeply involved in our journey, and not just as an enemy, even if he wasn't the nicest person in the world. You know all this really. Besides, what we do with him now should only be based on who he has become. Right now…"

"…He's in pain." Mia finished her friend's sentence, stunned by the conversation. "More than that. I've never known him to be so emotional. So unsure. I know, I never really knew him, I only thought I did, but something's very different now. Very wrong."

"Of course it's wrong," Ivan agreed comfortingly. "As to whether we can manage him if we do attempt a rescue; he would apparently have enough Alchemy to escape us and protect himself, and find others to help him seek out power again, but only if he wanted to and if he could pull himself together. The latter sounds pretty unlikely to me, so it's probably worth risking the former, if only to find out what really happened fifty years ago. Contigo has always valued knowledge of the past and the future."

They were interrupted by the entrance of the last two friends in their group. Garet greeted everyone as he and Jenna stepped off the teleportation pads.

"Hi, guys! Sorry we're so late. Jenna couldn't tear herself away from Neikul. I had to watch the class while they said goodbye. Those kids sleep very deeply considering there's only five inches of snow separating them from the fiery passionate flames those two summon when they just _kiss_…"

"Shut up!" Jenna whacked Garet in the back of the head with a fireball. "Neikul's been my boyfriend for seventeen years now! When are you going to stop teasing?"

"Never," Garet answered immediately, totally straight faced, making Jenna laugh despite herself.

"Oh, never mind. So, what's the problem?" Jenna asked the group.

"Aside from Garet? Long story. Mind read someone and let's hear what you both think," Ivan replied with a smile.

Everyone waited while the new arrivals absorbed the information. Garet recovered from the shock first, and seeing Jenna still lost in thought, tried to send a fireball back at her, but she noticed and ducked. Isaac caught the fireball, and dissolved it with a grimace. Everything he did came back, to reward him or to haunt him. He remembered Saturos, Neikul's older brother. It had been so hard to explain why he had killed him, the first time he had visited Prox. Saturos and Menardi. When exactly had he started to think of that fight on Venus Lighthouse as murder? Probably when it sank in that he hadn't been saving the world. Isaac hated spending time up north; he didn't know how Jenna could stand living there or why Garet liked visiting. Prox always reminded him of the worst things he had ever done. He'd never been able to stop wondering - were those deaths, followed so closely by what they'd all done to Karst and Agatio at Mars Lighthouse… Were they why all he could do with the power he'd received from the golden sun was wreck things? Why had Alex, the only one who really should have died, been given the powers he had described?

"Before we all decide," Isaac finally contributed, "remember what Alex claimed to have; powers of rebuilding, protection, communication, everything we've been working towards since the rebirth of Alchemy. The world is bigger and better organised than it used to be, and a lot harder for anyone to mess with, but there's always room for more help. I'd be surprised if Alex gave us that help, but he's already surprised us more times than I care to remember." Isaac hadn't found that very easy to say, but he knew it was the truth.

"I think I agree." Jenna frowned, thinking it through. "Plus, Alex made sure we didn't kill Karst and Agatio at Jupiter Lighthouse, when it would have put our parents in danger, so I agree with Sheba too. Who knows, if Alex had been around at Mars, maybe he'd have saved those two again, and Neikul and I would have a couple more friends today. If Alex could just do something about his _personality_… What did Hama mean, though? Everyone's first instinct was shock and dismay that he was even alive, right? And what motivated us almost never stopped us from being at odds with him in the past. Was Hama warning us not to help Alex like she knew we'd want to?"

"I remember when we first finished our quest. The day we saw what had become of Vale, when I thought my family had been killed." Garet spoke slowly and seriously, attracting attention. "The only reason I'd left in the first place - aside from 'Isaac said so' - was to save them. Do the right thing, save Vale, save my friends. I don't think it can be a completely safe decision, but we still want to save Alex. It's our gut instinct now."

"Hama was reassuring us, telling us to go for it without getting too worried, in her own special way. I get it now." Ivan grinned in relief. "So, is it unanimous?"

Isaac had known it would be.


	3. Overwhelmed by an Empty Room

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"They say such nice things about people at their funerals  
that it makes me sad to realize  
I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."  
_Gary Keillor_

Chapter 3: Overwhelmed by an Empty Room.

After leaving to collect all their best weapons, armour and accessories, any awake and helpful Djinn, and in Mia's case, a pair of shoes, the rescue party re-assembled in Isaac's room. Sheba had teleported to Champa to find someone to take over from Piers for such an important event, and he was still taking it in as Isaac addressed the group.

"Firstly, we need to find him, so how about teleporting to Vault and setting up a temporary teleport path between here and the Aleph Memorial when we get there?" Isaac suggested.

"I'll take care of that, then." Ivan agreed, crossing the room and starting to trace with lines of golden light an inch above the floor the design displayed on each of the many brass teleport pads nearby.

"At the memorial, we search together, and if- _when_ we find him, focus on Sheba for his free teleportation. We try and sort out any immediate problems while we're out there, come back to the palace with a plan, then tell King Hydros and everyone else in the morning, assuming there's something to tell them." Isaac finished. "Sound good?" Everyone nodded in assent.

"I'm done. Let's go." Ivan called the others over to the Vault path, the ninth pad to the right of his completed pattern. Hoping for the best, eight figures disappeared into the night.

As soon as they arrived in the centre of Vault, they each started shaping a hovering platform from movement Alchemy. Time was an issue, so they didn't bother adding the usual translucent colour to make them visible; everyone could see them with a similar sort of vision to the Reveal Psynergy used by the Adepts of old. Stepping on and letting them go in a sudden blur of movement, the single file train of Alchemists flew too fast to be visible anyway.

In the shadow of the Aleph Memorial, the party drew to a halt, letting their transport dissolve. They all spared the familiar grey pillar the briefest of sad glances, before holding hands to form a circle facing inwards. Ivan spread the second symbol of his pathway on the grass behind him, then closed his eyes with the others. Eight minds explored the currents in the air above their heads. When everyone was there, the group expanded its focus and started its search.

After half an hour following the faults in the rock, when the vast deepening spiral they had searched reached so far down it was getting hard to believe anyone was there, they finally came across a figure that might be alive. At least, they couldn't sense it well enough to know it wasn't dead. Sheba held in her mind two images, the body and the grass between them all, while the others completed the teleportation. It wasn't easy to transport anything like this, without a path mapped out, but these eight friends had been working together for a very long time. They were done in an instant.

The man who appeared before them was undoubtedly Alex. They'd placed him on his feet, and for a second, they stared in disbelief at a perfect replica of eight memories. The thickly bound boots, the deep purple armour, tunic, gloves and cloak, none of them bore the slightest rip or stain. His skin showed no trace of the smallest cut or bruise. Even his hair, still that vivid pastel blue, was the same length as when they'd seen it last. It was as if nothing had changed for fifty years. The moment soon ended, though, when Alex toppled over backwards without twitching a muscle.

Felix stepped forwards with a slightly less startled expression than the others, watching Alex lie there like a statue.

"Do you think we were too late?" He asked, puzzled.

Before a reply could be attempted, Alex started to answer them all himself. He collapsed properly, his limbs lying limp along the ground as his head fell sharply by another half inch. After several unsure attempts, he lifted one arm in front of his face, watching his fingers twitch with a frown that soon turned into a long, gleeful laugh. Still not taking his eyes off his hand for a moment, he tried to get up, overbalancing the first time to fall forwards instead. Once he managed to fully stand up, he found himself facing Felix, and stood staring at him through the gaps between the fingers of the arm he was still holding up. Alex was resting easily on perfectly fit muscles with an unreadable expression on his face, but as he stared at Felix his other arm curled up across his chest, clutching a handful of tunic nervously, and he started to shake. Alex turned around, slowly, trembling, gazing through his fingers at each of his rescuers in turn. Finally looking up at the moon and lowering his hand, Alex started speaking to those who surrounded him, as tears started to fall across his face.

"Idiots. A world above what I was in the end. So backwards too, freedom and power without possessing or seeking any of the elegance… You'd think that would give me more when I lost mine, but then I was too far along the end of the scale, less than mud to the breathing humans. Though that should have granted me infinity, so maybe that logic doesn't work, just like the try in the sky didn't. So you can't have got your power from lack of grace and hope if it was everything I never feared enough to dread… So was it sentiment? Must be. Nothing else about you all at all. Pity, mere thought of which brought the greatest low, brings the touch of air back. Thought I knew it perfectly, but sensation is another world now. Remembered the sun wrong, didn't I? Just look at it. Light. It's grown brighter." Still gazing at the night sky, Alex tried to wipe away the tears that kept falling from his wide-open eyes.

"That… That's the moon, Alex. Not the sun." Jenna stepped forwards, speaking gently. She didn't know what else to say.

"I know!" Alex yelled, trying to cover up his mistake, whirling round to face her then tripping up as he backed away from her. Folding up around his knees, he kept ranting, staring at the ground. "I know the moon when I see it! Do you think I could mistake fire for rock? Right for wrong? I sought one and found the other! I just… I just need water, and I'll have a place here where I get it all right, I'll show you. Water, to put behind me the fire you denied me, to preserve what I can of what I still am, and I'll do without what I lost, only keep me from rock..."

#Felix might have had a point. We could be _way_ too late.# Piers sent privately to Sheba.

"We promised we'd help you, Alex. We will." Sheba answered both men. Piers gazed at her. Nothing would ever daunt her. He'd first seen that in Garoh, when she was still a child, lecturing an old sage and a werewolf on the wind's power to move mountains. Since then she had only grown bolder. This would work out. He wouldn't doubt it...

Alex lifted his head at Sheba's words and glanced around cautiously. The memorial pillar by which the group had assembled finally caught his attention. He tilted his head to read the list carved into one tall, flattened side, and the whole group turned to read with him.

The Aleph memorial had been one of their first projects after the return of Alchemy. It hadn't seemed right to rebuild Vale, a place that had guarded an age which had been killing the planet, had housed the stars that inspired a quest with many casualties, and had been proudly xenophobic when civilization was now trying to unite and grow. Instead, they had used this historic site to record forever the lives that had been lost just before the world had been put right. It read:

'May all those who visit this memorial honour the memories of

Mark, Paul and Stephen of Vale,  
Who protected their people in a tragic storm,

Karnin, Tredenna, Gardi and Mirus of Prox,  
Who fell in search of protection for their people,

Timothy of Vault,  
An innocent young soul lost in chaotic times,'

Down through the list, recreating the journey of the elemental stars from the damage it had caused, until it reached the difficult names. It had taken a while to decide what to do about those who had put other people on the list, or tried to, but almost all of them were mourned by someone, somewhere, so the end was reserved for the names of the aggressive and the cruel:

'Saturos and Menardi of Prox,  
Who achieved more for the good of the world than many before them,

Karst and Agatio of Prox,  
Who with grief-stricken hearts, gave their all for the planet,

Alex, disowned,  
Who died.'

Mia had only agreed that Alex's name be added to the list of souls to be honoured on the condition that he wasn't linked to her peaceful home town, and no-one could think of any fitting praise greater than his inclusion.

"Didn't know I was dead." Alex whispered bleakly. "Knew I was hated."

"Let's get out of here." Isaac sighed. "It's a cold enough night as it is."

The group gathered on the glowing symbol Ivan had prepared, ready to leave. No one really wanted to touch Alex, but after a few seconds, he got up and followed silently on his own.

* * *

Sitting on the floor in the farthest corner from the door of his new room in the palace, Alex had a lot to think about. They'd left him here, saying he needed some time to himself, and promising to check on him before the morning. He could sense two of them sitting outside, standing guard, so he knew he wasn't really alone again. He wouldn't have put up with that.

Sight and touch were very important senses. He'd missed them more than he'd realized. The feeling of cloth, carpet, hair, skin, leather, wood, it was all as he'd remembered it, but now he was sitting here he couldn't get enough of it. The dark room was full of detail he was busy drinking in, memorizing. Then, there was what he'd just seen.

For some reason, he'd imagined the old Adepts either the way they'd looked as teenagers, or looking in their sixties, like Kraden or Obaba. Alchemy appeared to have slowed their ageing, though; Lemurian Psynergy had done that for Babi even when the world had been starved of the elements, and these people seemed to live in Lemuria. Piers only looked two or three years older, while most of the others seemed to have stopped indefinitely in their mid twenties. Clearly Piers' origin still set him apart, but probably not as drastically as it had in the past. Isaac barely looked a year older, and Alex knew who _he_ had to thank… But he wasn't going to start thinking about that, not here, not now, or who knew how long it would last?

Though Alex had disliked many people in his life, he'd never had a problem ignoring this when choosing his alliances. It had been so simple to dismiss his feelings to forward a plan, or even to play a situation for amusement. The grudge he now held against Isaac for taking what was his, blundering around, being irritatingly predictable and _nice_, for not doing a thing to look for him until he'd already suffered so much… This grudge was one he couldn't shake, even though he needed Isaac on his side until he figured out what to do next. Even stranger than this, even harder to figure out, was how as he'd seen all their faces he had been flooded with gratitude. He'd ached to reach out and touch them, human company after spending most of his life alone. This feeling was so strong towards Isaac, who had heard him, answered him and gone out to save him… How could he both like and hate someone? Either would have been bad enough, but both? Alex wished he could simply stop caring again. He'd seen what they thought of him, it was written on their faces. How long until he could deal with them properly, without his emotions getting in the way? This unshakeable feeling of dismay at how out of place in this world he had seemed to them all wasn't helping. He had to start by assuming there was something he could bargain with, in order to find it.

Right now it was all too strange, to be thinking and feeling and sensing new things again. Nothing ever used to change however many years he waited; now they changed every second. Alex was scared to keep his eyes open, and while he was annoyed at how ridiculous this was, it was still only the joy of seeing again that meant he couldn't even try to close them.

* * *

Mia walked up to Alex's room with a glass of water, greeting Isaac and Felix, who were sat outside, keeping watch. Felix never had any trouble staying awake, and Isaac felt responsible for Alex now.

"I see you got the water he asked for." Felix noted. "If he was really asking for water."

"He used to be a Mercury Adept, like me. I figure he'll appreciate it even if he's not thirsty." Mia said quietly. "Have there been any problems?"

"No, nothing." Isaac stretched, stifling a yawn. "He's been totally silent, and I haven't sensed him use any Alchemy either. We're just letting him rest."

"Right. I'll see how he's doing, then." Mia entered the dark room, closing the door behind her.

"Alex?" Mia saw him, huddled in the far corner, and approached him with a frown. "There are plenty of chairs, and a bed if you're tired. You can move, you know."

Alex lifted his head at her voice, but aside from that stayed as absolutely still as before. Mia shivered. She'd forgotten about how he still wasn't blinking again.

"I know." Alex replied, in quite a calm voice. "Movement takes far less energy to maintain than the shield did. The curse wasn't such a trap after all. It just used it at the worst possible time."

"I have a drink for you, if you want it." Mia changed the subject, not feeling like trying to interpret anything right now. She placed the glass on the floor in front of him, as he didn't lift his hand.

Alex just stared at the water at first, a captivated smile creeping across his face. When he raised his hand, it wasn't to pick it up; he raised it in a slow, upwards spiral, getting wider and faster as it got higher. The water followed his example, trailing up and out of the glass in lazy arcs through the air, forming the shape of a whirlpool.

Mia smiled. It was just the sort of thing Alex used to do as a child, when his grandmother gave them both lessons. Mess around, experiment. She'd never figured out exactly where he'd started to go bad. Had he even then planned to conquer the world...? Her smile vanished without a trace.

Alex reached out with his other hand, brushing it across the surface of the liquid structure, fragmenting it into a spiral of shimmering, hovering droplets. He lowered his hands, then finally leaned forwards, gently blowing on the water. As Mia blinked, it hardened into ice. Alex lifted the uppermost fragment between his fingers, up to eye level. He closed his palms over it, and held them there, suddenly frowning.

"Too cold." Alex muttered, disturbed.

"If it's cold, then drop it!" Mia snapped. He was acting so pathetic now. She wished they'd never found him.

"If something's there, and you're there, there's no getting away." Alex was confused by her words. Then he remembered how things used to be. It was so obvious. Put it down on a table, drop it on the floor, just walk off… Millions of times. There had been space. Like here. "It's too late now, anyway." He amended, opening his palms. The ice was gone. He'd absorbed it all.

Mia froze at his words. Was he saying that now he was here, she was stuck with him? She hadn't thought he'd read her mind. Surely she'd have felt it?

"You're not guaranteed a place here for good." Mia warned. "The King still has to hear about you, and if you're too much trouble, we won't be recommending he keep you around. If he thinks you're still a criminal mastermind at heart, there's no way he'd risk keeping you in prison. You could be executed."

"Ah, but that didn't work, did it?" Alex countered, standing up. He still felt he shouldn't look too small when people were making threats. "It told me when it set me up, how special a case it was that could kill me." There wasn't much emotion in his voice when he said this, standing flat against the wall. He wasn't trapped with that thought right now.

"Something caused the earthquake that destroyed Vale and Mt. Aleph just to try and kill you?" Mia asked incredulously.

"Perhaps. It could have just made use of circumstance. What does it matter?" Alex asked.

"The people of Vale only escaped because the Wise One- don't you dare flinch, that's its name- the Wise One warned them! Whatever was after you could have killed them all, just because of you! Of course it matters!"

"Well, there you go. It saved them, and brought a mountain down on me. If you hate me so much, it doesn't matter, does it?" Alex was still speaking calmly, but he was putting a lot of effort into not letting more tears form in his eyes.

"No. The Wise One confronted you, stopped you doing any harm, then left when the earthquake interrupted, thinking you might escape and wanting to finish things with you another time. That's what it told us. That's the memory it showed us! The Wise One saved the world by allowing the return of Alchemy once Isaac proved we could govern it unselfishly, and by keeping you from messing that up!" Mia knew this to be the absolute truth and she leaned forward, forcing the message through with a steely voice and narrowed eyes.

Alex leaned back against the wall, slowly shaking his head. He couldn't accept any of this.

"Deceitful rock… You rule the world?" He whispered, wide eyed. This was far more than he'd expected when he'd guessed at what she might have been up to.

"We govern Alchemy, that's all." Mia knew she had to explain this clearly. Alex had to know there was no room for a Master of Alchemy. "Being connected to a specific element all our lives made our Alchemy particularly strong in areas that draw primarily on that element, so each of us mainly deals with that sort of Alchemy. We work closely with the leaders of every town, city, village and settlement in training people in Alchemy, especially youths and other teachers, utilizing Alchemy to bring forward civilization, and sometimes still settling disputes between towns. We're trusted and influential, but a big part of the training we've set up is to help children appreciate the beauty of Alchemy in a peaceful society… To stop them turning into psychos who want to take over the world." Mia finished bitterly. She'd managed to avoid following with the even crueller phrase, 'turning into the next Alex', which she and her friends had often used when discussing such matters.

"Always have to think of me like that! No idea what I could have done! What I might have done!" Alex tried to shout, but her persistent arguing was getting disorienting. Where was his confidence in himself and his plans? Not that he'd really decided what he'd have done first with the world, as long as he made everything possible. Why was he upset? Surely he'd never believe her, never hate himself enough to see any credence in her claims? "True power's majesty and… You haven't righted every wrong, have you?" He finished in an accusatory tone that somehow wasn't quite rhetorical.

Mia stepped back, disgusted.

"You know, when we were growing up in Imil, you may have been distant and impossible to guess at, but you were of the Mercury clan, like me. You helped me with the duties I accepted, when we were the last two, and I considered you a friend… Almost like a brother." Mia's voice wavered a little, but she kept on. "When you disappeared, you left me alone. When you came back, I wished you'd stayed lost. Now you're back again, I really wish you'd died!"

Mia stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Isaac and Felix got up, concerned, as Mia leaned against the wall, breathing heavily.

"Are you all right? We heard you two arguing about something." Isaac asked.

"About everything. And I'm fine, thanks. I really don't know why I didn't just go back to bed. I have plans with Larran this evening, I don't want to fall asleep on him!" Mia straightened up, trying to smile for her friends.

"Which one is he again? The sophisticated Lemurian scholar? Oh wait, that covers all your boyfriends for decades…" Felix teased.

"Oh, shut up." Mia laughed. "Larran's an architect, anyway."

"Going anywhere nice?" Isaac asked.

"Of course, it's our one month anniversary. We're going to hover a yard from the edge of Gaia Falls and have a picnic. I'm bringing a bottle of the champagne Iodem gave us all at the Lighthouse Festival last year." Mia replied, getting slightly misty-eyed.

"Sounds very romantic." Felix offered sincerely.

"Thanks. Well, I'll see you later." Mia headed back to her room, around the corner and out of sight.

* * *

Alex sank back down to the floor, watching the door slam shut. So Mia wished he was dead, did she? Well, he could do worse to her, if she thought him so awful, he could- What had he just figured out, though, about being able to drop things once they'd started? He wasn't stuck with his thoughts anymore, having to watch them all go round and round however long he tried to put them off, until he'd been through every miserable detail a thousand or more times. Alex pushed the worst of his conversation with Mia to the back of his mind, and thought back over the rest. She'd seen him as a brother? He'd never realized that. Strange.

Kneeling forwards, Alex lifted his ice sculpture a few inches into the air, then held his hands out beneath it. He pushed out all the cold, sent it away from himself and the gift he'd been given. Instantly, the suspended droplets poured down into his palms, and he splashed it over his face. Water felt so pure, so refreshing. He had to figure out how to make this stuff himself again.

Felix opened the door wide, sending a ray of light across the carpet. Alex looked up, wondering what this was about.

"Are you going to sit there all night? Everyone else is getting some sleep now." Felix asked coldly.

"Don't sleep." Alex shook his head. "Not anymore."

"Try it anyway." Felix advised. "It might help you sort some stuff out." Felix closed the door, having only wanted to make sure Alex wasn't going to cause any more trouble. Mia had been incredibly upset.

Alex wondered if he really should try sleeping. He was afraid it might make things worse. No one else had thoughts like his to sort out, did they? Still, anything was worth a try when he had so long to find a way forward. Alex closed his eyes, but they shot open again as he jumped up in alarm. He could still see it. The granite surface that had been fixed in front of him for fifty years was still there, exactly as he'd sensed it, engraved on the back of his eyelids. He'd only just got out! There was no way he was closing his eyes again, no way he was dreaming of that.

These were the first minutes he'd gone without it near him for a long, long time. He knew its exact density and temperature inside out. He knew exactly how it had fractured all those times it had started to crush him, exactly how it had splintered. Yet he'd never been able to run his fingers along its surface, find out what it felt like. He was touching so much else now, yet a sensation so near to him was missing.

Alex glared at the bed in the centre of the room, ordering it to race out of the way and slam into the wall. The bed rose by half an inch and started to gently float along. Groaning in frustration, Alex walked over and pushed it himself. Walking back to the centre, Alex pictured the first few feet of granite in front of him. At this height there was less pressure, which would make it this dense, this big… He kept going, filling the room with rock.

Once he'd finished, he looked around. His little crevice was much bigger like this, wide enough for him to spread his arms out either side and just brush both walls. Alex sent a little light into his hands and ran his fingers along the grainy surface of the rock, mesmerized by the dryness and roughness, the way the little crystals glinted in the light. This was beautifully new, but so familiar too. Very safe. Alex stood up and closed his eyes, falling instantly asleep.

* * *

"Alex? What's going on? Are you all right in there?" Isaac's muffled voice slowly roused Alex from a deep, calm sleep. Blocking out the annoying noise, he opened his eyes. He gasped, too horrified to scream. He was trapped again, cursed and crushed, going to die, going to die-

No. It was just the copy he'd made. Why? Why had he put himself through that? Alex clenched his fists, overwhelmingly furious at the rock, punching it and... Well, there was pain, something else familiar. Alex looked down. He'd smashed his fist. Bits of bone were poking through his skin, dripping blood onto the steep granite and sandstone floor. Not as bad as his injuries when he was there for real, but still, the sharp agony, the sickening ache, it took him away from his thoughts. That was still something of a relief. Alex reached for power to mend the injury and felt a flood of golden warmth heal it completely, taking less than a second. Of course, he had a lot more power spare now, didn't he? Movement almost left him far too much to appreciate his injury. The way the pain would lift bit by bit, getting better and better. It had always been quite a diversion. At least his arm felt better now. He just had to get out. He couldn't bear it in here.

Scanning the seams of the rock, Alex realized he hadn't left himself a way out. He still couldn't destroy the rock, and it filled the room, he couldn't move the two pieces apart. No way out, again! Fear and panic taking their turn at swamping his mind, Alex started pounding madly at the walls, yelling;

"Help! Help! Get me out of here!"


	4. Trying to be Alex

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"The boy looked at Johnny  
He said 'Don't you know who I think I am?'  
Well I knew you once before  
Now I'm trying all I can."  
_The Libertines, 'The Boy Looked At Johnny'_

Chapter 4: Trying to be Alex.

Isaac frowned and stepped back as the others behind him looked on, equally puzzled. He'd opened the door to be faced with a blank wall of rock, and asking Alex what he was doing in there had been as good as asking the wall.

"Do you think he's gone?" Jenna asked.

"He could be telling us to leave him alone." Ivan suggested.

"We're going to have to look eventually." Piers pointed out.

"Shh! I hear something." Mia quieted everyone, and they heard Alex finally asking for help again.

Isaac and Felix stood on either side of the door, each placing a hand on the surface of the rock. After a slight pause, the entire mass of stone dissolved into nothing. Everyone stared as a wild eyed, panting, sweat soaked Alex fell from three feet up in the air, collapsing on the ground with a quiet thud. Still shivering, Alex picked himself up, turning to face them.

"Never seen him this energetic before." Felix called over his shoulder to someone Alex couldn't see, before stepping back with the others. King Hydros slowly came into view, approaching the door and drawing to a halt at the threshold. The King waited, surveying the man who stood before him. Alex stepped forwards curiously, looking a lot calmer. Isaac noted with surprise that even the sweat seemed to have been drawn back into his skin.

"So, Alex. I'm glad to finally make your acquaintance." The King opened the conversation for him, wondering what sort of character he would turn out to be. His first impression certainly hadn't been very promising.

"Majesty. What's it like to have so much majesty about you?" The King opened his mouth, but Alex hadn't finished and didn't seem to notice. "You have Alchemy. Are you strong?"

"Fairly strong, yes." The King replied, much amused.

"Same here." Alex tilted his head sympathetically. "Nothing ever turns out infinite, does it?"

"Does it need to?" The King asked.

"You don't enjoy your reign? Don't wish to rule eternally?" Alex asked mildly.

"There is satisfaction to be had from doing what I can for my people, certainly, but I could never wish away a well earned rest at the end. More importantly now, do you still wish to rule the world?"

"Sure, if you're offering. Two sugars, no milk."

"I wasn't offering." The King replied sincerely, though he assumed Alex had been sarcastic. "What are your plans, in that case, now you've been 'brought back into the real world', if that was how you put it?"

"See what the real world is doing. That's a must." Alex replied like it was obvious. "When I knew of everything but one rock, the mountain I'd presumed to rule ruled me. Prevention is everything."

"Yes, prevention is everything, and I am here to keep you from becoming a problem. I'll have to keep an eye on you, but for now I see no problem with the supervision of the Governors of Alchemy. This room is yours, indefinitely." The King stepped back with a smile. "I must say, as a King, it is rather refreshing to see someone stand and face me as an equal without any prompting - especially one like you."

"What are you saying?" Alex called angrily after the King as he walked away to inform the senate.

"He's saying you're an evil madman." Felix replied scornfully.

"I'm not… mad… or-"

"So says the man who just filled his room with stone." Felix interrupted, glaring at him.

"Well, it looks like Hama was right. Alex was worth saving." Piers commented, watching his King go with pride, then holding Sheba's hand the same way. "You were right to forgive him, as we thought."

"Of course. I only wish I knew what potential the King saw in him to come to that conclusion from that conversation alone…" Sheba wondered.

"We'll see soon enough. King Hydros has always been the best judge of character on Weyard." Ivan contributed. "I'm just glad Conservato's retired. He may have been one of the first to accept Alchemy, but this would still make him so mad…"

"We'll have to go tell him, won't we?" Garet grinned.

"You know you can't! He'll have another heart attack!" Jenna reminded him.

"Yeah... maybe." Garet admitted. "But he's got to hear it sometime, and I'm not missing it."

"Do you have to be anywhere today, though? We need to decide what we're going to do with _him_." Felix walked over, leaving Alex lost in thought.

"I'm busy." Mia answered first. "I had to be here for this, but there's a new installation at Mercury Lighthouse that I have to oversee." She left in a hurry.

"I'm not free yet either. Neikul will be waiting for us to help sort those kids out. And when the camping holiday's over we're taking them up to Mars Lighthouse for their test. See how much they haven't learned." Garet told them.

"The trip was scheduled to end today anyway." Jenna added. "We'll be free by evening, though I'd really rather spend some time back in Prox before I go anywhere else. I'll just have to see if I'm needed by then." Jenna and Garet walked into Isaac's room, the one just opposite Alex's.

"We can't abandon ship for too long when the rest of the crew's still at sea! It'll be cutting the session short, but we can be docked by evening and free from then on too." Piers spoke for Sheba and himself, before turning to follow her into Isaac's room.

"Isaac, aren't you and Ivan attending the trade conference between Bilibin and Kalt this morning?" Felix asked, a little worried. He did _not_ want to be stuck on his own for this.

"Hey, don't worry. I can manage without you." Ivan volunteered. "I may be going as a Weyard Trade and Communication Councilor, but I'm sure I can act as the attending Governor of Alchemy at the same time, if that's what's needed."

"Thanks." Isaac and Felix gave Ivan identical relieved and grateful smiles. Isaac hated sitting around worrying while other people dealt with his problems.

"I should have known better than to make this week a holiday from 'everything except emergencies'. That was a sure way to summon something like this." Felix joked, not looking at all put out. Unusual trouble tended to be interesting when he had company.

"You'd better decide where you're going - hey, wait." Ivan realized something. "Alex just got up, he hasn't had breakf- He hasn't eaten for decades!" Everyone felt rather stupid, only realizing this now even after Mia's glass of water… Alex just hadn't looked thin and starved when they'd found him, and no one usually thought about food in the middle of the night.

"Alex? Would you like something to eat?" Isaac called over to him.

"Food?" Alex turned, puzzled. Sure, food had sometimes tasted quite good, but the new input from all his other senses was distracting enough, and he had bigger issues to deal with. Unless they thought… "I don't need food." He informed them. "There's nothing destructive about nourishment, so I get it directly from the elements - they are what food is made of anyway."

"But don't you want to taste something again, for fun?" Ivan asked. The way Alex was responding to everything else now, Ivan had been sure he would have appreciated taste too.

"Fun? Gathering in pointless circles, grinning like idiots? I worked for so much more than that! Don't think I've lost enough hope to sit around haplessly tracing smiley faces in the air!" Alex snarled at Ivan. There was no way he could just… he had to have more than that left!

"I'll just leave this to you two." Ivan told the others quietly, walking off without another word. Felix knew another of his friends had been hurt. Ivan and Mia were so sensitive. Still, now that they'd rescued him, did Alex plan to insult and alienate everyone again?

"So, you want to learn about the world? How about visiting the House of Light?" Felix suggested.

"You should get more of an overview there than at any of the Lighthouses." Isaac agreed. "We can introduce you to Kraden too… though I don't think he'll be glad to see you, so we'll find someone in another department to teach you."

"Where is - "

"Not far from the palace." Felix interrupted. "So you won't have far to walk. Save your questions until then."

Felix and Isaac started down the corridor, both glancing over their shoulder impatiently at Alex to indicate he should be following. Alex walked after them, wondering how much power and symmetry they really possessed. If he found a new plan, would he ever be able to play them all again?

* * *

The House of Light, Alex decided, certainly lived up to its name. It had been visible from the palace gates, once he'd recovered from the sheer blueness of the sky. Alex had stared at the sun for a full minute before Isaac and Felix got tired of standing around. The sun did seem far brighter than he'd remembered, but then he'd never been able to look directly at it before. Lemuria's silvery stone pillars and archways, set against the rich green grass and pure blue of the sea and sky surrounding the island, gave it all an air both of refreshing, exposed openness, and impossibly ancient magnificence. Resting on one of the city's lower slopes, the House of Light shone brilliantly white past the dusty silver of the other buildings. Drawing closer had revealed its shape, a perfect hemisphere like a pearl the width of the palace embedded in the earth. Standing right next to the building, Alex could see it had been constructed of the same stone as its surroundings with a shadow-thin layer of light across its surface. The four elemental colours intertwined in a billion momentary whirls and swirls up close, blurring into a dazzling white from any further than a yard away. Alex didn't like much, but he found himself liking Lemuria a great deal.

Rather than finding a vast space inside, Alex was surprised to enter a tiny chamber with only one other door on the opposite wall next to a panel of glowing buttons. These were labelled with words like 'Chemistry', 'Optics', 'Physics' and 'Mythology'.

"Different aspects of Alchemy." Isaac briefly explained, at the same moment Felix said,  
"Different ways of studying Alchemy." Alex nodded, getting the idea.

Isaac pressed 'Philosophy' and the room glowed golden for an instant. Felix opened the door, presumably to the part of the building designated to this aspect of study, leading Alex into a moderately vast room full of chairs, tables, charts and fiercely debating scholars of a mix of hair colours. They soon found Kraden deep in conversation with a dark-eyed Lemurian woman.

"Ah, Felix, Isaac, good timing." Kraden greeted them without turning to look at them. "Meda was just arguing that the infinite nature of Alchemy must rule out the existence of God; care to help me explain that it might just make God a necessity?"

"It's obvious, though!" Meda started, eyes glinting happily. "Take what happened in the Unlit Age; without being sufficiently replenished, earth was worn away by wind and water, while the seas were lost to evaporation and to Gaia Falls. It's been proven that most material manifestations of air can be dissolved in water, so the atmosphere too was being depleted. Heat dissipates; if we didn't receive heat and light continuously from the Sun, a body entirely of the element fire, Weyard would be lost to cold and darkness. The elements which compose everything in existence enter continuous decay once in existence, so only the eternal renewal of elemental force can be infinite; the eternal maintenance of reality. The stone of sages could link one soul to the essence of Alchemy, renewing them forever from this source. If God was behind the constant creation of the elements and God ensured eternal justice, why would this stone grant any human, good or evil, the same eternal and infinitely powerful state?"

"Look at it like this." Kraden enthusiastically countered. "Each human is composed, in part, of all four elements. Just use the model taking earth and water as the principle elements behind solidity and fluidity of form, present even in the bodies of the dead, infused with fire in life; warmth, the energy of thought and movement, the spark of consciousness, which must be fed by air as we breathe like pure fire needs air to burn. Without this shell of earth and water, the fire of the soul which inhabited and activated the body may no longer contact living souls, but it is then in complete contact with the air allowing it to burn still brighter. Weyard is in continuous growth, expanding the land we live on, the heavens above and the dense earth below. Concentrations generally spread over the available area unless some force is creating a vacuum, so with no physical weight holding them to the relatively tiny area living souls inhabit, departed souls must depart; either for the heavens where pure air allows these souls to blaze brightly for as long as the elements exist - in other words, infinity - or they must be drawn down where there is no space for air, completely extinguishing their existence. Does this not call for the Church's traditionally infinite and just God, to ensure good souls pass on to the heavens and bad souls are ended?"

"Try to remember," Alex interrupted, "That the cosmos is a unity of interdependent parts all consisting of the same four elements as humans. What makes you think there's a vacuum anywhere? You missed out the Jupiter energy in people, and as a former water Adept, I would also object to the notion that my soul is a thing of fire."

"Air is rather hard to pin down." Meda contributed on Kraden's behalf.

"Well, if we take fire to be the spirit which sustains the body and soul…" Kraden started to argue as he turned to face them at last, but when he saw Alex standing next to him, the old scholar froze and started to turn a deathly pale shade.

"What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost… Or a spirit?" Meda asked.

"This is… This is someone Kraden thought long dead." Isaac explained.

"Deep down in the earth, I was not extinguished. If I were the resurrected dead, that would make this God a dark, vengeful creature intent on torturing half of all human souls. However, I am fairly sure I'm not dead right now, so can everyone stop saying that the one bad thing that didn't quite happen to me did?" Alex was looking vaguely amused, but also more than a little disturbed.

"You… were in Mt. Aleph's collapse… and are back. How? Why?" Kraden whispered, recovering slightly.

"We rescued him, Kraden." Isaac told him carefully.

"No one really knows why." Felix added.

"The King knows about him, and now we've told you. He's here to catch up on some history, so we're taking him to that department next. We can talk to you about this later." Isaac finished.

"Mt. Aleph?" Meda caught on. "Wait, so is he…? He can't be!"

"He is." Felix confirmed. "Let's go." He and Isaac started to leave.

"Wait." Alex hadn't moved. "I want Kraden to teach me." Kraden loved learning more than anyone else Alex had ever known. He would probably be the best source of information by now. Plus, Alex might still be able to tell whenever he deliberately left something out. It was also sort of reassuring to see how Kraden looked like he had actually aged a couple of decades. It made all the time that had passed seem a bit more real. Alex truly wanted to figure out exactly what was going on with reality right now.

"I think your… ah… rescuers there… had a much better plan." Kraden responded, still not quite believing his eyes.

"You are wise. You know who I am, what I should hear, perhaps what I shouldn't hear if it's for the best. You're curious and I will answer any question I can. You will teach me." Alex could see Kraden's expression softening.

"Well, we could talk a little, while you're here…" Kraden seemed to half consider Alex a mere daydream or phantom. It wasn't just his sudden appearance. Over the years, Kraden had honed a kind of intuitive Alchemy, even if he'd never got the hang of fireballs and the like. He knew who was around him and he could hear a lot more in people's voices, especially how open or deceitful they were trying to be. He'd thought something seemed strange before he even turned around. Kraden wasn't getting any sort of reading from Alex, nothing but the sight of him and the noise his voice made. It was like thinking of a half-forgotten conversation from long ago, or just imagining things…

Alex allowed himself a faint smile. He needed a lot more practice, but there was still a certain fluidity to trying to manipulate people, especially when it worked. Maybe, over time, he could bury all the ways he'd changed when he'd been buried and be exactly who he'd been before. Did it matter, just for now, that he was more than just satisfied at a chance to talk to someone useful… That everything felt like a chance to win over companions? It was a little hard to think straight. Even empty air was still such a distraction… But he could focus if he tried.

"While they talk, would you two mind filling everyone else in on this?" Meda led Isaac and Felix away to gather the philosophers for an interesting story.

"People don't recognize me? She knew me by my part in history, but not very well if even those who study Alchemy don't know my face. Did claiming most of the golden sun not make me that important?" Alex asked Kraden quietly.

"Every scholar here will know that an Alex from Imil travelled with the various parties that lit the Lighthouses, left before the end to seek the golden sun and was therefore the only one to die when Mt. Aleph fell. It's not a secret, exactly, what Isaac received of the golden sun and how you… ah, didn't die, but we've never really emphasized that side of Alchemy. It's in the most comprehensive texts, but it's not really general knowledge. You never even visited Lemuria, Alex, of course they're not going to know your face. You'd be recognized in any town where you… made an impact, I suppose."

"What is common knowledge, then? If it's all so patchy, could you add a bit of uncommon?" Alex asked, rather annoyed. He'd been the most important person in bringing back Alchemy, and had almost become the most important anything. Ever.

"Well, to start at the beginning… In the Unlit Age, Weyard was slowly decaying from a lack of the universe's fundamental elements; the seal on Alchemy had locked away far too much elemental force, the lifeblood of reality. Looking back on it, the worst part is, barely anyone noticed. Prox was the first community to stick around long enough at the most inhospitable edge of the world to be pressed into action by its recession.

The first party from Prox, of the two smartest thinkers, the two most diplomatic souls, and the strongest fighters, Prox's two warriors, departed for the old village of Vale. They found no help there, and when they tried to start the quest by themselves… Only the warriors survived, as you know, each suffering a terrible loss. They took hostages from Vale, saving their lives but not letting them go home, leaving Vale grieving over more deaths than the boulder had actually caused. After a few years of recovery, in which two Proxan youths who had also been picked as warriors grew into that title and many others were trained as soldiers for this time of crisis, the next party left with Felix… So strange, to think there was a time he wasn't known in every house on Weyard…. They restarted the quest, rather more brutally and ruthlessly - though no one blames Felix, of course - and with a lot more success. This… new style? It accumulated most of the other heroes of our time, either as hostages or in pursuit.

When the warriors died, the situation in Prox still spurred on those who'd travelled with them, and the quest was continued in a much more humane and helpful way. Piers was the last hero to join them, and thanks to him all the heroes finally realized the significance of Alchemy - that Weyard would shrivel up and die in every way without it - and eventually united to finish the quest together and save the world. Thus began the Relit Age. This is the heartwarming story celebrated each year during the Lighthouse Festival, which lasts the two months the quest took to complete. It finishes with a wonderful street party on Lighting Day, which is actually the first day of winter now the climate is so much warmer… I always remember finishing the quest so far into in such a bitterly cold early winter, it seems a bit odd to me.

Anyway; the seal broken, the heroes soon met with the King of Lemuria, the most civilized land humanity had inherited from the last Age of Alchemy, bringing along the refugees formerly of Vale. The Golden Week… that was a real landmark. We arrived two days in, so while all over the world, people saw the sun grow brighter, the- "

"I knew it." Alex muttered.

"What?" Kraden was quite surprised. Students usually interrupted him far sooner. Alex was a wonderful listener. Though it was rather strange how he didn't even blink…

"Nothing. Continue." Alex waited quietly, unnerving Kraden a little. Definitely not like most students.

"Yes, well… while people everywhere saw the trees grow greener, the seas grow calmer and the air grow warmer and fresher, an open air conference was held in Lemuria which pretty much decided the future of Weyard. King Hydros offered all the heroes the position of Governors of Alchemy, leaving it to them to determine what sort of a position that became; whether they kept travelling and guiding the progress of civilization with the help of all those town and city leaders who held them in high regard, or settle down back where they came from with an honorary title. As you've probably surmised by now, they decided to keep making a difference. Oh, and I was obviously one of the heroes, but I declined the new title the others accepted. Rushing all over the place is all very well for the young, but I only wanted to stay and continue finding out about Alchemy and the construction of Weyard in the most knowledgeable society on the planet… It doesn't sound like much of an 'only' to me, but I was the only one.

Master Hama also arrived a few days in, along with Puelle of Prox; they had each been given instructions in their dreams. Hama had proceeded to walk through a tree in Contigo to arrive in the centre of Lemuria, while Puelle is rumoured to have had to walk through a snowman. As the discussions continued, Puelle was quick to offer the Vale refugees homes in Prox, seeing how three of the villagers already had friends and jobs there, while the others were keen to see the town that the 'children' of Vale had saved.

Ivan wished to live with his sister Hama, and to learn of his original home town Contigo and the people of Anemos, so it was decided that Hama and the Governors would travel to Contigo with a party of Lemurian scholars - including me - on Piers' ship. Once there, they used everyone's skills and the new gift of Alchemy to try and construct a working pair of teleport pads, one on the ship, the other in Contigo. This being a brilliant success, they then created a second pathway between Lemuria and Contigo, and so it was established that wherever the Governors travelled, those in Contigo would join them to build more teleport pads, to create a revolutionary network of pathways allowing people on opposite sides of the world to live like neighbors.

For, as a great deal of experimentation during the Golden Week had established, everybody could use Alchemy. Generally only Adepts could figure it all out for themselves, apparently using a similar method to Psynergy, but anyone could be taught at least a little. The Governors offered to train everyone everywhere they visited, in classes that got larger and larger as they brought those from each town together, and most people could use the teleport pads by themselves after a few months of training.

Within a few years, it was possible to teleport from anywhere, to anywhere, if you didn't mind up to half a dozen stages in between. At this point, only Piers and Sheba decided to continue living on the ship; Piers loves the sea, and I believe Sheba loves the sense of belonging everywhere and nowhere. They both love to be constantly on the move at any rate, and at the start of each month they hold a week-long voyage for training young Alchemists in sailing and weather Alchemy, going along a different route every time. They made sure Briggs of Champa and a significant number of the population of Yallam were included in the first few trips, which included a lot of treasure hunting. They wanted to help the people in the village Yepp had founded rediscover the skills and legends their hero had left them, partly in thanks for how Yepp had left Piers and the rest of us the way back into Lemuria, without which we would have been truly lost. Briggs, meanwhile, still hadn't got around to paying back the towns he and his men had raided before the Lighting. This hadn't mattered too much in the years of mild weather and plentiful harvests that had followed, but it was an outstanding debt even so.

The other Governors soon found that the population's increasing skill in Alchemy was also putting their help and guidance in its development and use increasingly in demand, so they decided to convert the Lighthouses into academic resources for Alchemy closely relating to each particular element. Felix and Isaac worked on Venus Lighthouse from the inn at Lalivero, Jenna and Garet on Mars while staying in Prox, Mia on Mercury while staying in Imil, and Ivan on Jupiter, where Hama quickly became just as involved. The Governors would visit each other in the evenings and spend some days helping out at each other's sites, but they ended up spending most of their free time meeting up and relaxing in Lemuria. It's just so calm here, while they were so busy… and they liked visiting me, of course. They received a lot of help with the Lighthouses from the Lemurians, as well as those from nearby towns, and people from all over Weyard who would teleport in to see their progress and help out for the day. Most of the puzzles and traps were removed, while libraries, classrooms and various pieces of equipment were installed and skilled local Alchemists were trained as teachers.

During this time, Jenna was especially glad to get to know Prox, a place so important to her parents there and to her brother. She found she had a lot in common with the Mars Clan, making many close friends and becoming a cherished member of the community herself. The town's spirit had been rather subdued for a long time after all the deaths it had seen, especially as each of their warriors had lost so much of themselves to this grief, in their different ways, and died before they could ever find their way back to being the brave and happy protectors the Clan remembered… Jenna helped fill a void and, well, just cheered the town up. Felix would often stay with her and their parents for a weekend, glad to spend time with everyone he'd known growing up in Vale and Prox, but he didn't consider the place a home like Jenna did. Garet enjoyed his time there too, and he seems to visit Prox a little more often than anywhere else these days, but he couldn't settle down there either.

Since communication was established between Contigo and Kalay, Ivan had been in touch with Lord Hammet and Lady Layana, and once all of Weyard had been linked up, Ivan decided it would also be worth setting up a way to organize trade across the myriad routes available. So, he enlisted Hammet and Hama's help in recording supply and demand for every product in every area and acting on this information. Hama still considers the original silk route her greatest idea, but what they have accomplished now is truly incredible, getting farms, markets, shops and craftsmen everywhere involved in an efficient system of trade that has helped every town on Weyard prosper. Now you can buy silk from Xian in Shaman village, or find Proxan sweets for sale in Vault! Hama also started organizing the further construction of teleport pads at this point, to make certain trade routes a lot easier to use, improving communications between towns at the same time. Everyone involved in this whole enterprise decided to officially name themselves the Weyard Trade and Communication Committee, or WTCC… They were going to think up something more inventive, but if the name confused people about the purpose of this new group it would have been a bit self-defeating."

"Just one question. Why exactly did they need more teleport pads for this? You said they were all connected anyway."

"Didn't I also mention all the stops in between? Teleporting is one of the hardest sorts of Alchemy. Even if they're not transporting any stock, most people are thoroughly exhausted by two or three trips in a row, and some people can barely manage one." Kraden didn't mention how he was one of those people, but the look on Alex's face suggested he'd guessed. "You used to Warp, didn't you? Surely you found instantaneous transport tremendously hard, much more so than your other Psynergy? You weren't even using a path!"

"It's not instantaneous. It's not Psynergy either, just warping. And it's the simplest thing in the world. But can this wait? Please continue." Alex didn't know how anyone could make warping difficult. If people found teleporting hard, they must all be doing it wrong. He suddenly felt like warping again, just to see if he could still do it, but he was busy right now. That would have to wait too.

"Right. Well, once the refurbishment of the Lighthouses was complete, King Hydros offered Isaac, Felix, Garet and Mia rooms of their own in the palace, from which they could still access every corner of the planet; the Governors could probably manage dozens of teleports with ease, if there was ever any point. They all accepted, though only Isaac and Mia truly inhabit their rooms anymore. This move was especially convenient, as it soon became apparent that the Lighthouses weren't sufficient, leading to the construction of the House of Light. Alchemy is more than the sum of the particular powers of its individual elements; a combined research facility was needed. Since the Lighting, careful records of every town's history and progress had been compiled in Lemuria and Contigo, and it was getting to the point where a dedicated facility was needed for this, too.

I helped design the building in which we now stand, as did many of my colleagues and all the Governors of Alchemy. The Philosophy department here was a late addition, but very popular; there's a saying that while every other department is about finding out what Alchemy can do, in Philosophy we only look at what we can never know if it does… Actually, that might be the dictionary definition."

"Dictionary?"

"Oh, sorry. That's a set of books listing in alphabetical order each and every word people use alongside its meaning. A group initiative from the Language department. It's very useful, don't look so derisive."

"So people find it useful to be told what 'it' and 'three' mean?"

"Never mind… I'll show you one later. Anyway, the House of Light took eight years to complete. We used new architectural techniques that had arisen from people's new skills, and from several informed studies of the Lighthouses. We were able to employ people from all parts of Weyard… It was an incredible project. Added to the fact that the Lemuria Spring was still the only source of youth water, the substance which had prolonged the lifespan of Lemurians for millennia, and Lemuria was busier then than it has ever been before or after."

"How exactly did this lost, secret island become busy anyway? Did they really let the rest of the world just teleport in and out like that, when so few people even knew of its existence before?" Alex was finding this all a little hard to believe despite the evidence all around him.

"Oh, yes. Lemuria used to have those laws about no one entering or leaving. Well, it still does, technically, but they're so archaic nobody would ever bother enforce them. When the heroes first returned to Lemuria in the Golden Week, a few senators tried to bring those laws up, in a general fit of fear and frustration at everything happening without them I suppose. Lunpa sorted them out, using the research he'd conducted at the palace."

"_Lunpa?_"

"Yes, he's alive, he stayed here when Babi left. I could have told you that fifty years ago. He revealed that the written laws are so careful to distinguish between Lemurians sailing out to fish and people actually crossing the ocean, they only ban _sailing_ to or from anywhere else, even in the parts that define exile. Felix and the other Adept/Alchemists hovered us back, while since then everyone has always teleported.

I mentioned youth water too, didn't I? The sheer abundance of the elements after the Lighting set Lemuria Spring overflowing, and by the time the House of Light was started it had been reworked dozens of times, despite a new factor that had been keeping it in check; tourism. Lemurians never used to have much contact with outsiders, but once they started talking to the many visitors that soon found their way here, they realized how different life really was for many, many people. Soon, the Lemurian public became rather horrified as it sank in how soon most people died, people who were friendly and intelligent to varying degrees… none of them savages after all. Visitors increasingly found bottles, jugs and pans pressed into their hands, and were urged to drink their fill from the spring and take plenty home for their families, for their children. To Lemurians, despite the boredom of a long life stuck on a small island, the old human lifespan sounded tragic, unbearable… and that's how we all look back on it now.

The very night the House of Light was completed, Lemuria Spring flooded worse than ever before, making it clear that another solution had to be found. It was Ivan's wife, Keisha, who thought of using the crater by Contigo as a reservoir. You remember her? She used to run the general store in Contigo… Well, she's a member of the WTCC, and that was the idea that made her a Councilor. She even, just that one time, made her sister in law Hama a little jealous! The WTCC got help from the House of Light and the Lighthouses in actually figuring out how to do this, and we eventually designed this sort of perpetually open pair of modified teleport pads vertically suspended in space, powered by an infusion of Alchemy that's topped up every morning… It basically looks like a little waterfall in mid air above the reservoir, while the part in Lemuria is a little patch of sky underwater.

The water level in the reservoir was very low at first, but it's risen steadily, so that now the crater is nearly two thirds full. Around the rim, a set of teleport pads were built especially for transporting a set of heavy water tanks to and from the reservoir - they usually rest on the other halves of their paths, at the centre of the biggest town or city in each area. Each town's share is pumped into the tanks once a week, an amount that is also constantly on the rise. Isolated regions still get their share, it's teleported to them from the tanks as an extra service, as the whole thing is done free of charge anyway by the WTCC, which is never short of funds.

You will therefore find that nobody is the age they look anymore. Well, except babies. Youth water slows different ages by different proportions as well, or one would find oneself a screaming infant for a decade or so. A five or six year old will stay that way quite a few years longer than might be expected, and by the time they're a teenager, they could be more than fifty years old, though some will still only be twenty or thirty even these days. No two communities started drinking youth water at quite the same time, and in some it still isn't very popular; the younger you start, the more potent its effects, with the optimum age being nine months before you are born; it takes better to stronger Alchemists, especially if they used to be Adepts; sometimes variations seem to be pure luck… And though most of these factors should even out eventually, we don't yet know how long future generations will live, once everyone's blood is as saturated with this potent, post-Lighting youth water as Lemurian blood has always been with Mercury energy.

You can't tell how old anyone is by how they look, but to a certain extent that doesn't matter. A teenager of fifty years will be intelligent and mature, someone you can trust as you would an adult, but they will still have their teenage way of looking at the world. Just don't judge anyone by anything but their personality… Oh, and don't ask how old they are. You don't need to know, and it only gets people mixed up these days."

"Very well, but are you sure you can't guess how long humans will now live with this drink?" Alex asked; if they were redefining human life, it needed to be put in perspective.

"We think at least a few thousand years, considering how long King Hydros has lived, though like I said, it varies right now. For instance, I didn't find youth water until I was in my sixties, I was never an Adept, and I'm no luckier than average. I'm pretty sure I only have another sixty or seventy years to go… While Isaac and Felix and the others will still be young men and women decades after I'm gone." Kraden turned to watch those two for a moment, a sad look finding its way into his eyes.

The Governors were at the centre of an argument at the other end of the room. It didn't seem to be a philosophical debate. More the sort of argument where rather a lot of people got very upset. They must still be talking about Alex. Kraden turned back and saw without much surprise this time that Alex was waiting for him to continue, standing there still and expressionless. Only seventy years more, perhaps, but Kraden knew he was lucky to have always been able to live each year just the way he wanted. He continued talking, with a slight sad laugh for the way he couldn't help feeling.

"Listen to me, moaning about living a far longer and richer life than I could have dreamed of last time I saw you. There's so much I want to find out, so much that no one knows, but that's just the way it'll always be. As much as I'd love to live seven thousand years more, I've already been blessed with more privileges than I can honestly say I've earned. I'm truly happy for Isaac and the others. They went through so much, so young, they deserve every reward life has given them. I tried to find Lemuria for Babi, but I didn't find it for _him_ in the end. I don't want to end up like him, terrified of death…

Oh, and did you know that Babi tried to pad out the youth water he took with powdered nuts and herbs? He'd long realized it would run out. When I left for Vale it was getting very murky, and according to Mia he'd turned it practically orange by the time he was down to the last few drops!" Kraden smiled, trying to cheer himself up. Then he remembered … "Say, Alex. You know you told us how you were there when Babi died, and everyone in Tolbi assumed it was because of you and the Proxans? No one has ever exactly been able to prove or disprove that. I mean, it's clear he died of old age, and that's the accepted story now, but the way it was supposedly just as you walked in the room… A great many people in Tolbi would still insist it was not just coincidence…" Kraden waited for some sort of response.

"So the mob still sticks by its spontaneous, superstitious stupidity? I'm impressed." Alex got the feeling that Kraden was half expecting him to admit to something. Maybe they would have killed Babi if he hadn't died on his own so conveniently, but that was nothing Kraden needed to know.

"Well, not everyone… never mind." Kraden found himself feeling a bit embarrassed for some reason. It was a valid historical dispute, and when those who knew for sure were all long dead (until recently)… He should just get through the history Alex was here to learn. "I got as far as the completion of the House of Light, didn't I? Since then, the Governors have been involved with various individual projects, construction of other buildings, politics, education, keeping the peace and dealing with natural disasters. Of course, nothing has ever matched the tidal wave that shifted the continents, and there have been too many little changes to cover…

Perhaps an example of a fairly large change in one part of the world? As you may know, Champa used to be run by the village elders. When Briggs and his men saved the village from famine, the elders were so amazed that they started to consider turning the running of the village over to its sailors, feeling a bit useless themselves… Except for Obaba, of course, who'd expected nothing less from her grandson if he ever wanted to return. When we revealed Briggs' piracy, the elders reconsidered, realizing how rash and immature the young could be. However, their doubts about the effectiveness of their own guidance didn't go away. When Briggs was on Piers and Sheba's first training voyage, he often talked with them about his home; the way it was coping well enough while times were so much easier, but its future was rather uncertain. On returning to Champa, Piers and Sheba went with Briggs to speak to Obaba, suggesting a council in which each elder and each youth had to come to an agreement to vote as a pair on every suggestion. It seemed like a very strange idea, but as Obaba wished to give it a try it eventually came to pass, and that is how Champa has been run ever since. The youths of Champa are now very wise, level-headed sailors, while the elders have much more free time.

Obaba started to spend much of this extra time in the House of Light as soon as it was built, finding it very interesting, and of course contributing a lot to research here herself. She has a remarkable mind…" Kraden trailed off, realizing he'd been about to tell Alex how he had spent a lot of time with her. How it would be their thirtieth wedding anniversary next March. No reason he shouldn't tell him, it just seemed a bit… social. Would Alex even care? Oh well. "When we started working together in the Astronomy department… We grew very close. We've been married now for almost thirty years."

"Congratulations." Alex replied, smiling, looking sincere and almost normal for a moment. Kraden smiled back uneasily. From the look in Alex's eyes… he almost seemed rather hurt by the news, and it only showed in his eyes, making that normal smile… a little creepy. Why would he…? Kraden wished he'd stuck to the world history lecture.

Alex kept smiling, waiting for Kraden to continue. Thirty years back had not been a happy time for him. It had been just like ten years back, forty years back, last week, last month and yesterday... It was different up here, but he couldn't keep thinking about how long it had been, not if he wanted to keep going like this. Alex wished Kraden would start talking about something a bit more distracting again. At least he wasn't expected to respond much.

"The Governors have been involved with so many decisions all over Weyard, it has become customary for at least one of them to sit in on every major meeting of any town or city's government and every conference between towns. Isaac tends to be most involved with this. He has a reputation for being very reliable and trustworthy. He has a keen sense of right and wrong… they all do, of course, but Isaac… he'll take on anyone's worries as his own. He does seem to get rather worried sometimes. The others all look out for him, though; the Governors are always there for each other. They went through a lot together. Ivan also spends a lot of time in meetings, though it's often for business reasons. He's a very respected figure too, quite old for his age with his family in Contigo. He always seems very happy there, very settled. I think he enjoys thinking about all the time he's spent there, while the others are happy to still feel the age they look.

Let's see… Garet has been involved with a lot of the construction that has taken place since the House of Light. That's mainly new homes, shops, schools, sanctums; little things in greater numbers than before, for the growing population. There haven't been many new settlements founded, as it's easy these days to look around every existing town and find somewhere you'd like to move to. Garet will stay wherever he's working, so he doesn't tend to live anywhere for more than a few months at a time. He'll often help out with one of Piers and Sheba's voyages, or with training at the Lighthouses with one of the other Governors, even at Mercury Lighthouse; he says his own Alchemy greatly benefits from the practice. Still, it's construction work that he's really taken to. He told me once that he didn't ever feel like he could have taken after his grandfather and been a town leader anywhere. He's always considered Isaac the responsible one, a fact that's always made him feel rather relieved.

Oh, and construction includes road maintenance, can't forget that. See, the planet seems to be growing quite fast compared to the rate it was shrinking, though it's eased off a little since the years immediately following the Lighting. Much more maintenance work is required, especially for those routes across the land that are still in use, like paths between nearby towns or to camping, hunting or research areas. However, many roads simply aren't used any more, having proved far less convenient than teleporting. Mountain passes, desert paths, routes joining distant towns with nothing in between, all of these have fallen into disrepair. There may not be many monsters left, but the wilderness has never been more vast, overgrown and… well, wild.

Most people never venture out into these abandoned areas any more. Felix might be the only person on the planet to ever wander around the Suhalla Desert or the whole of Kolima Forest, the only one to know their exact layout now. He goes camping a lot… not in a group, not in a well-used site with tents and everything… He just doesn't often seem to sleep anywhere civilized. I think he did stay the night at Riki and Tavi's place a few days ago, they invited him round as he'd spent the afternoon helping with the craft fair in Daila. That morning, I think he was in Izumo, he had some business with Kushinada and Susa, though I'm sure he said he'd spent the night before somewhere east of Loho…

Ah well. The djinn can always find Felix, and he has an uncanny way of knowing where he'll be wanted anyway. That may have something to do with how he actually knows _everyone_ on Weyard by name and face, but I'm sure he puts a bit of Alchemy into it too. He is rather good at Jupiter Alchemy for an old Venus Adept. He picks up Mars exceptionally well - in fact, it only seems to be Mercury that he's not too keen on, only bothering with the basics. I suppose that's to be expected after jumping into the sea and swimming for miles only to be knocked out by a tidal wave immediately after… Never mind dragons and demons, that wave was the scariest thing I've ever seen."

"I wouldn't say it was that bad. Just so immense… I'm glad I was there to see it." Alex felt the need to speak up on the wave's behalf.

"I wouldn't believe you just said that, but you did seem a little too calm at the time…" Kraden sighed. "Plus, it's not just you. Piers told me once that when he saw that wave coming, at first, he felt only awe. Then he got scared, then he got knocked out, then he got thrown in jail... He had a hard time on his own. Good thing we found him." Kraden found he could no longer feel the slightest bit surprised that the Governors had chosen to rescue Alex.

"Is there much else?" Alex asked. He had some idea what Kraden was thinking and he didn't appreciate it. Strong people are fine on their own. Perfectly fine.

"Much more history? Of course! You missed a lot. Still, we'll never cover everything in one session, and that's got most of the important parts out of the way… So why don't you answer a few questions for me now like you promised?" Kraden was getting very curious.

"Fine." Alex nodded.

"Right…" Kraden wondered if his first question might seem rather tactless. Well, he had to ask. "We've accumulated enough information at the House of Light to guess a lot more about the form of the golden sun and the stone of sages; how the stone has never been formed, but left on its own, the golden sun would have either condensed into it, or fallen into the planet and spread throughout its heart… or possibly exploded… but it's all just guessing. How… What did the golden sun look like, right up close? What did it feel like to…"

"Very bright. Like the surface of this building but a thousand times more intense, and the elements are so mixed up you can't see them, just feel them when it meets your skin… So intense you feel like you're burning up, spinning so fast in every direction that it looks perfectly still, but you feel like you're going to be torn to bits… And then it settles into the core of your being, and you realize you'd been blinded and hadn't noticed, and it's rushing right through you and nothing feels quite the same… Because it doesn't leave any part of you quite the same. I… didn't realize what that meant in time…" Alex suddenly realized he was telling Kraden far too much. He had no reason to talk to anyone about this! Nobody should know him, or he would lose himself… a life's worth of treasured and painful thoughts lost to those he could never respect, never trust. That was a terrifying thought. He couldn't ever slip like that, not ever.

Kraden saw Alex falter and fall silent. So it was a personal question… Well, he was still extremely glad to have asked. The way Alex had described the golden sun, he should hate it, yet he seemed irrevocably enchanted. Perhaps anyone would be. Kraden was still a little jealous himself. If his studies had revealed enough about the stone of sages, it might have been him… Yet it never could have been. Kraden knew he could never sacrifice other people for such a selfish cause, could never ignore what he'd learned from the Wise One. Alex's words made Kraden rather glad that hadn't happened to him anyway. They did make a small part of him wildly envious of the chance to experience such rich and vivid power… Kraden was glad it was just a small part.

"Ah… Hmm. Would you mind me asking… Can you tell how long a lifespan the golden sun gave you?" Kraden considered this a reasonable enough question to follow with.

"Not quite. A fairly long one, certainly, but I was told it would be nearly infinite, so that doesn't tell me much. I'd thought you might have some idea, based on how fast Isaac seems to be ageing and how powerful the complete golden sun would have been." Alex replied carefully.

"Nearly infinite… yes, the Wise One showed us that memory. Isaac hasn't really aged that much, so we think he'll live something like five or ten times longer than everyone else. I suppose you could expect to live at least a hundred thousand years, possibly a million or more." Kraden reasoned.

"I'd think at least a few million." Alex corrected him. So they had even less idea. Oh well. "It doesn't really matter though. Not much difference."

"What do you mean, not much difference?" Kraden wondered if he'd heard wrong.

"You're a mathematician, are you not?" Alex asked. Kraden nodded. "So you know. Relative to infinity, any finite number is practically nought. Say I live for just a billion years. Anything I achieve is just a hundredth of what I could have done with just a hundred times as long. Even that..."

Kraden was speechless. How could Alex take for granted the greatest power any human had _ever_ actually attained? Kraden found himself waiting for Alex to say something more, to take it back. Alex didn't seem to be paying him much attention, though. He was staring into space, looking right through him. His thoughts must be miles away. Kraden suddenly realized that the scene reflected in Alex's eyes was not actually the room ahead. Kraden glanced over his shoulder nervously, confirming that the Philosophy department hadn't melted away. According to the reflection, a young boy was sitting against a deeply blue wall a few yards away, opening a book. Messing with Alchemy really meant messing with the laws of physics…

"Compared to infinity, everything else fades away. My choice was everything or nothing. I can't possibly regret my decision. But that perfect… I'm going to die, like everyone else. Then I really will be nothing." Alex's expression seemed so lost, Kraden turned away. He was sure Alex had never wanted to be seen like that. The more Kraden got to know Alex, the more he wished he hadn't. Still looking away, Kraden decided to ask another question. Maybe it would serve as a distraction.

"I can understand how you could have been caught up in Mt Aleph's collapse, and how you could have survived underground for years if you were powerful enough, but how were you rescued? How did the Governors know to go find you, and why now?" Kraden turned back to face Alex and was glad to see he had lowered his eyes to consider the question.

"I contacted them. I got around to trying to establish some sort of telepathic communication, and Isaac heard." Alex eventually replied. He couldn't exactly lie when Kraden would hear it from the Governors later.

"It took you fifty years to try asking for help?" Kraden exclaimed, probably a little too loudly. Alex flinched. He'd been trying to keep it from sounding like that.

"I contacted Isaac and he helped." Alex tried not to sound impatient. Why was he getting so nervous?

"So, you were trying to reach him specifically? Any particular reason?" Kraden thought something sounded odd there.

"No. Anyone. I'm not exactly sure why he was the only one to hear, or how he heard at all, but it must have something to do with the golden sun."

"Yes… It's linked to everything, it would certainly be relatively easy to establish a link between its two parts. He would be the easiest person to reach." Kraden couldn't see any great mystery there. It was a tempting research topic, but Kraden knew Isaac wanted as little to do with his part as possible, and Kraden was finding he wanted as little to do with Alex as possible.

"Two parts. The quintessence of all things, ripped in half. How can it be? Both of us will die. The stone of sages wasn't supposed to expire!" Alex couldn't ever quite believe how ridiculous it was, the way he'd been beaten. Everything had become mortal and finite, set to decay. There was no core of true reality left in the universe...

"The stone of sages _can't_ expire. I'd imagine its power would merely be released from your body upon your death, the same applying to…" Kraden froze, horrified. Had he really just said…? How could he be so stupid?

Alex saw Kraden realize his mistake. _The same applying to Isaac_. So… so it might not matter, what he'd been through. Divinity was still within reach. Isaac's powers wouldn't die with him, but would be made available to the nearest taker. Even when broken apart this way, the golden sun could not be compared to normal Alchemy or Psynergy. It made sense... All that work, and now he was almost there. Alex felt very relieved. Very, very relieved.

"ISAAC!" Kraden shouted desperately across the room, backing away from Alex. This was bad. Very, very bad.

* * *

Isaac sighed, trying to think of yet another way to explain why he hadn't just killed Alex. Most of the philosophers had wandered off by now, some to talk amongst themselves, some to take another look at the History department. A handful of very angry people wouldn't leave him and Felix alone. They were just yelling the same questions again and again without listening to any of the answers. Felix seemed to be coping fine, but Isaac was getting a headache. Couldn't something interrupt? Anything!

"ISAAC!"

Isaac spun around, thinking for a moment that Kraden's panicked cry was the answer to his prayers. No. Kraden looked scared, and Alex… Isaac shivered. Alex was turning to face him with a dreamily calm expression, and a murderous look in his eyes.

#Kraden! What happened?# Isaac didn't care if Alex heard again, he needed to know quickly. Isaac read the thoughts Kraden had formed for him upon hearing his question.

... So Kraden had told Alex that he could liberate Isaac's half of the golden sun by killing him… Isaac could have kicked himself. He should have known the golden sun would be an issue! He should have gone to the House of Light before he rushed off to the rescue, should have sorted everything out somehow before something like this happened. Well, he would have to deal with the matter here and now instead. Alex wasn't moving, merely standing and watching him as if hypnotised, watching his face, watching him breathe in and out…

Isaac walked up to him, trying not to look nervous. Trying not to feel nervous. There probably wasn't anything Alex could do to him. Not here and now, with Felix watching his back. But Isaac didn't see what he could do to Alex either, after he'd survived the worst the earth could throw at him. If Alex walked out of here and started planning something, it could get dangerous for everyone involved - and for everyone _not _yet involved. If there was going to be a fight, Isaac would much rather it happen here and now. But if he made the first move, he'd be ruling out any non-violent way of sorting this out quickly, and it might only drive Alex to retreat. He really didn't want to give up on Alex if it was still possible to help him. Isaac stopped a few feet away from him, wondering what on Weyard he could do to keep control of the situation.

Wait, what had Ivan's message from Hama been, the bit about control? Something vague… 'Keep control with what motivated us in the first place'. So kindness and decency, that was how Hama expected him to deal with Alex, or he would lose control. What say could decency have when someone wanted to kill you? But if hostility and aggression would fail, he had to try the opposite. Isaac trusted Hama. He was willing to take a risk here, as he had done so many times before over the years. Not least because it meant he actually had a plan...

* * *

Alex watched as Isaac approached him. Strange behaviour, but useful. Alex wondered how he was going to kill Isaac. He'd never deliberately finished anyone off before, but it couldn't be too hard. People did it all the time.

Wait, what was Isaac doing? Alex watched Isaac draw his sword. The fire brand… Wasn't that the sword that unleashed Purgatory? How fitting. What use did Isaac think that was going to be against him? Except… Isaac was offering him the sword. Just holding it out, waiting for him to take it. Alex looked into Isaac's eyes, thoroughly confused. Isaac was nodding without breaking eye contact, smiling at him, holding out the sword… Alex took it shakily, trying to figure out what was going on. Isaac didn't want to die, did he? Well, if so, this would only make it easier.

Alex gripped the fire brand, trying not to think. Trying to think about killing without thinking and trying _not_ to think all the thoughts he'd been trying not to think all day or think about who he really was now he could be who he wanted to be and wasn't yet or think who Isaac was to have saved him and to stand by him or think about how he was so furious at him he wanted to lift this sword and rip Isaac to pieces and dig out his eyes with his thumbs and keep him alive and hurting for years to show him what it was like and how sickening it was to think such thoughts like he was just a savage disgusting beast and to think like that about another human being who'd showed him the sun again and given him a home here where the walls weren't crushing him or think how he really had to kill him but when he lifted this sword an inch he couldn't bear the emotions he hadn't expected and hadn't tried to cope with before and couldn't get rid of after all and trying not to be so furious with himself for trying to kill Isaac and for not trying to kill Isaac and he didn't ever want to and couldn't manage it but that would be giving up hope and he couldn't possibly do that either and everyone in the room was staring at him waiting and they wouldn't wait forever and he couldn't do a thing. Alex gripped the fire brand, trying to think.

Had to do something, couldn't do one thing or the other. That rock had certainly made this world a hard place to live in. He knew he couldn't simply walk away from this. Nobody would ever trust him if he didn't drop this sword ten seconds ago…

Hopeless. It almost made sense. Ever since he'd climbed that mountain and found himself just as far down, everything seemed to become its opposite instead. His puppets ruled the world. His suicide note saved his life. The most beautiful moment of relief and hope had turned into this impossible standoff. Maybe… Maybe violence _would_ buy him a little peace…

* * *

Isaac watched and waited. When Alex had met his eyes, Isaac had been able to summon a calm and confident smile in return, just about. So far, his gamble seemed to be working. Alex wasn't moving, and wasn't looking quite as murderous. But he was still holding the sword. With every passing second, Isaac was growing increasingly worried that he wasn't going to drop it. Even if Alex raised the fire brand to his neck, Isaac wasn't going to shield himself - the use of protective Alchemy would be obvious, which would somewhat defeat the point. Sometimes people had to see that you trusted them, right up until the last second, before they'd be convinced, and it had to change things... And if it didn't, Isaac would just have to count on his reflexes, and Felix's common sense. Still, it was working so far. Hama was never wrong.

Isaac saw Alex's expression clear slightly. He seemed to have come to a decision. Then… it happened so fast. Alex raised the fire brand above his head, then plunged it into his own chest. Isaac blinked. Alex was standing there with a sword through his chest, half of it sticking out either side. He'd closed his eyes. He wasn't moving at all. Isaac blinked again. Alex was still there. He wasn't bleeding. He was breathing deeply, calmly… He was asleep. Isaac stared, not getting it. What did Alex mean by this? Impaling himself and falling asleep?

Isaac felt Felix's hand on his shoulder. That was a comfort.

"I don't think he's going to do anything else. You can stop waiting." Felix told Isaac gently.

"But… he just…"

"Yeah. We've got to get him out of here."

Isaac looked around. Everyone in the philosophy department was still staring at them. Of course they were. Kraden had found a seat, and was looking rather happy. He must not have liked talking to him after all.

"He just had to drop it. That was all. Just drop it." Isaac muttered, gazing at Alex.

"Oh, come on." Kraden laughed. He couldn't resist. "Surely he knew what he was doing the moment he raised his sword!"


	5. Meltwater

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"So maybe I wasn't that good a friend,  
But you were one of us.  
And I will wonder, just like anyone,  
If there was something else I could've done."  
_Aimee Mann, 'Just Like Anyone'_

Chapter 5: Meltwater.

It didn't take long to relocate to one of the spare rooms built into the basement of the House of Light. Many of the scholars employed there found themselves working late surprisingly frequently, and it was far easier to stagger back to the entrance chamber at two in the morning when you'd just exploded your fifth test tube in a month than it was to stagger all the way home. Isaac and Felix certainly found it convenient to only have to carry Alex that far, considering what a strange sight they would have been otherwise. Two of the Governors of Alchemy, dragging an unconscious man with a sword through his chest to the palace… This room was far more convenient, Isaac decided, however impossible it proved to get Alex settled on the bed without the sword cutting into the sheets.

"It… it just makes no sense!" Isaac sighed, giving up and sinking to the floor beside the bed. "No sense…"

"I know what you mean." Felix replied as he carried a couple of chairs across the room to set them by the bed. "For all that we jolted him on the way here, he's still not bleeding. Strangest wound I've ever seen. And I don't know when he's planning on waking up."

"Thanks." Isaac mumbled as he moved to the chair. "And that's not what I meant."

"I know."

"Yeah, you would." Isaac almost laughed. "I just… I don't get it. Since we found him, he's done nothing but snap at us, insult us and demand our help. Then he goes and does… _that_, rather than hurt me… rather than not hurt anyone!" Isaac paused. "Do you think… He seemed so like what we thought of him, like he didn't care about anyone but himself. It looks like he must care about other people at least a little, but maybe he doesn't really _like_ anyone much. Anyone at all."

"Well…" Felix paused. What a strange thought. There might be something to it. "If that's true, might be worth wondering if he knows it himself."

"Wouldn't think so." Isaac replied, still staring at Alex. "He's too sure of himself… usually." Isaac looked away. "I just… this... Can't we at least take the sword out?"

"You sure that's safe? We don't exactly know what we're doing here." Felix reminded him. Isaac thought he didn't sound too convinced.

"You really think we'll be putting _him_ in any more danger? That thing's… right through his heart!" Isaac hated seeing his sword like this. It had been a long time since it had last been used, really used. It hadn't drawn blood since... Why did Kraden always have to be so immature? It wasn't funny!

"Makes sense." Felix nodded. "Like I said, can't keep waiting now for Alex to do something else."

Isaac half laughed. So Felix _had_ just been waiting for him to decide what to do. He'd thought so. The two of them stood up and tried to pull out the fire brand as carefully as possible. Isaac kept flinching, until Felix told him to sit down and let him finish. Once it was free, Alex merely fell back, still fast asleep. He still wasn't bleeding at all… Something very strange was going on. The sword didn't even have any blood on it.

"Hmm…" Felix held the fire brand out. "Want this back?"

"No thanks." Isaac shuddered. It was a relic, more than anything, that he'd kept out of a sense of obligation. "Just leave it on the floor. Shouldn't we try… try healing him now?"

"If we can. We'll try."

"No reason it shouldn't work, is there?"

"Not that I know of." Felix smiled slightly.

"Yeah... Of course. Sorry." Isaac answered, a little distantly. He really should have worn a different sword today. "Let's try, then."

Side by side, Isaac and Felix each gathered in their hands a glowing mass of healing Alchemy. Rich greens and browns dominated the swirls of colour, power that flowed so easily these days. They both remembered the way Psynergy had taken so much effort to drag out bit by bit, building up in waves and so often leaving them with splitting headaches indicating how badly they'd overdone it. Neither of them expected Alex to remind them of another aspect of Psynergy as well; the way it would so often fail absolutely for no apparent reason.

"I don't believe this! No affect… Not the slightest…" Isaac let the light surrounding his hands dissipate. "Is he blocking it or something?"

"While he's asleep?" Felix asked, raising an eyebrow as he turned to face Isaac.

"Yeah, that would be a bit strange… Sounds about right, for him." Isaac sighed. "Do you think we should find a professional healer? Someone who knows more about the routes healing energies take. Maybe they'd see what's stopping it."

"Have to be someone very skilled to do any better than us."

"So should we try Mercury Lighthouse, see if Mia can recommend anyone?" Isaac suggested. Felix nodded, and Isaac decided. "Right. You go, I'll wait with Alex." Isaac knew Felix would rather be the one to leave - well, both of them would always enjoy going to see Mia far more than waiting around like this, but both would wait if the other asked them to, and both would, of course, be too considerate to ask.

"Sure." Felix smiled and nodded before turning to walk off. He was certainly considerate enough to accept every reasonable favour Isaac offered… It was like Alex had said once, wasn't it? Some people drew strength from being kind. Of course, Felix made sure his friends _received_ enough kindness to stay strong too. He paused at the door, turning back to Isaac. "Are you sure you're all right if he wakes up before I'm back?"

"Why? You think he might want to kill me? Whatever gave you that idea?" Isaac forced a smile.

"That wasn't what I meant." Felix replied, smiling back even so. Isaac wasn't letting himself stay too shaken.

"I know."

"You would." Felix grinned, leaving at last for Mercury Lighthouse.

* * *

Alex sat by the river, watching the snowflakes hit the surface of the water. Imil was still a little way off waking up, but soon enough the other villagers would all be out and about… Not that it would be busy, exactly, in a place with such a sleepy pace. Alex wondered sometimes if he was a bit cynical for a ten year old, but as he didn't know anyone else who felt the same way, he had to assume ten was a fine age for discontent simply because… That was how it was.

He was on his own for now, at least. He'd come here because he needed some time to think. Needed a bit of space. It wasn't too cold yet, either. The snow had been falling for quite a few weeks already, but the river hadn't frozen over yet. When it did… Winter would seem to last forever. Even so, Alex knew spring had to come. The river would thaw eventually, when the spring came. It had to. It wasn't like it could turn into a glacier, like you got in the mountains, where miles of ice and a little meltwater from the crushing pressure would get thrown together with a load of dirt and rock and send this horrible monster slipping and slipping away… You couldn't get a glacier in Imil. Anyway, it wasn't too far into winter yet. The river was still fine. He didn't need to worry about anything… Anything that felt a little strange to think about. He was just a kid, just sitting around, soaking in the calm and the quiet. How boring. How nice.

Alex got up, brushing the snow off his tunic. His grandmother should be up soon. If she didn't need him, maybe he could sneak off to the Lighthouse for a while. Alex smiled at the thought, glancing up to see the top of the tower in the distance showing through the smoke from his grandmother's chimney. Good, so she was up. He was almost at the house when the door opened, and the third member of the Mercury Clan stepped out. Mia was thanking his grandmother, saying goodbye. Why would she be visiting so early? Mia glanced around and, spotting Alex, smiled and waved as she ran over to talk to him.

"Alex! There you are! I was looking for you." Mia greeted him. "Today, I'm going to start teaching Megan and Justin meditation. I was wondering if you felt like helping out. I know you don't think they're going to be very good, but you could just come along to practice with us if you like."

"I didn't say they'd be bad. I said they'd be useless." Alex replied. "They don't have the hair, do they? They'll never be able to do what we do."

"Maybe, maybe not, but meditation's still good for anyone. Like how I got my parents to meditate too, even though they can't do Ply or anything. Praying is good for the heart." Mia insisted.

"Sometimes, you take my grandmother a little too literally." Alex told her, trying not to laugh.

"What are you talking about? She knows far more about the Clan than either of us!" Mia sounded a little confused.

Alex remembered, he wasn't supposed to sound like he knew too much. He couldn't tell her that when he meditated, he didn't bother making it a prayer any more and it worked just fine. Or how it seemed pretty pointless anyway; while meditation unlocked some sort of power, Alchemy had been the foundation of the real Mercury Clan, a vast and powerful group in a glorious land… He hadn't read much yet, but still, Alex wished he could talk to her about it all. If he was found out, though, he wasn't exactly sure what sort of trouble he'd be in. Wandering around Mercury Lighthouse on his own for the past four years… The others would be beyond shocked. Kids misbehaved, but this was on an entirely different scale.

"Of course. You're right. Sorry." Alex apologized, though Mia seemed no less curious.

"Alex… Is something wrong?" Mia asked. She really looked concerned, more so the longer he paused. Maybe, today, he would try and tell her.

"Well…" Alex wondered how to phrase it. "Grandma does know a lot about the Clan, doesn't she? Wouldn't it be nice, sometime, to ask her how far back it goes? To ask how long ago it was that the fountain was filled with the Water of Hermes, see if she knows what things used to be like?"

"What are you talking about?" Mia sounded so shocked. This was such a bad idea… "The Mercury Clan's always been around! At least, practically always. Everyone knows that. The Water of Hermes can't be around any time the Lighthouse doesn't work, and it's not supposed to work. That -"

"Yeah, that would be dangerous." Alex sighed. He really didn't see how anything could make his Lighthouse a dangerous place. "Still, for as long as it doesn't work, it's our Clan's inheritance, isn't it? We've always been safe enough with grandma. Don't you want to ask her if we can stay a little longer sometime? Don't you wish we could look around…" Alex trailed off. Mia really looked horrified, more so the longer he talked.

"Safe enough…? Do you really not feel it, Alex? That place… it has such a weird feeling to it… like if you let it, your soul would seep away there. It, it's too big! Too quiet, only… big, like the sea. It's so scary, Alex! Don't you feel it? I wouldn't want to go without your grandma to keep us safe. The way she's so careful about that place, she… she keeps us all anchored. It'd be more than just 'dangerous' if whatever it did actually worked! It'd put the world at risk, remember?" Mia gasped, wiping her eyes. She looked so scared. "Anyway, what are you doing, talking about 'our Clan's inheritance' all of a sudden? I didn't think you cared about that. You're never around, never bother with Clan stuff, and nobody else ever seems to talk with you… I can't believe you haven't noticed! The Clan doesn't mean nearly as much as it could when one of its members acts so… You're the only person in Imil who's never around, never really involved with what everyone else is doing, and now you want to ask about what the Clan means? Alex... Nobody else thinks much of you, and you don't even seem to care!"

Alex didn't know what to say. Maybe he didn't usually come so close to telling her the truth, maybe she was surprised to hear a little of how he really felt, but really... Had he got her so upset that she'd _lie_? But she sounded more honest than ever, like she'd been worried for ages, so did that mean… Did everyone really think of him like that? That was… Well, yeah, he didn't talk much to… But why would they think little of him? He spent _ages_ hanging around this boring village! At least one thing was clear. He couldn't talk to her about anything. She didn't understand at all.

"I… I help out with Clan stuff." Alex finally found his voice. "I helped heal old Jacob's dog with you a couple of days ago, when it was sick again."

"Alex…" Mia shook her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… It's just, it's never made sense. Everyone else thinks you're shy or something, but if they talked with you half as much as I do they'd see there's no way… I mean, if you don't want to talk about this, that's fine, but… I'm always worried about you."

Alex couldn't figure out how to answer her. If everyone thought there was something wrong with him… He was misjudging it, wasn't he? Leaving for the Lighthouse so much, even if he never got caught… There were consequences. So how could he explain himself if he told everyone they had him wrong, he was… He couldn't think of anything right now, and Mia was waiting.

"Well, they've got it right. I'm just shy." Alex lied.

"What? No, you're… not." Mia looked very confused.

"Don't argue with me! I said I'm shy and I mean it!" Alex snapped. Then he realized how convincing that must have sounded. "I mean… People are so hard to talk to. I don't know how you do it, Mia."

"Uhh… All right then. You are, if you say so." Mia seemed to be having a lot of trouble with that idea. "But… Alex, any time you ever want to talk, I'm here. Got that?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Alex replied with a smile. Might as well keep acting.

"Right. So, are you coming to help teach Megan and Justin? They'd be glad to see you around more." Mia seemed to think she'd solved something.

"Sorry, not this time." Alex replied. He didn't need to give a reason. Not if he was some… _nothing_.

"Oh. Okay. Some other time?" Mia looked a little hurt. Why'd she have to be so stupid?

"Maybe. See you later." Alex finished, walking off without looking back. As soon as he could he turned a corner and broke into a run, dashing through the village until he was out of breath. Stumbling to a halt, he leaned against the back wall of a house, out of anyone else's sight. Had to catch his breath. Had to think.

If he wanted everyone to think better of him, he'd have to spend more time in Imil. He'd have to hang around chatting about all the usual pointless little things, smile for people he didn't even like all that much. He _had_ to… but it sounded like so much work, passing the time here where the days dragged by so slowly. Why should he bother? When would he ever need to put so much effort into maintaining the right image? If he could just get back to the Lighthouse and forget about all this stuff… If nobody else cared when he was gone, he could spend as much time there as he liked, couldn't he?

Standing up, Alex noticed a weird heap of fur a few feet away. He leaned closer to look, pulling back and retching when he saw what it was. Jacob's dog was dead. Looked like it had died in the night. It was all stiff and its eyes were all gross and… Should he go tell someone? Mia would still be around. But what was the point? All the village crowding round a dead dog in the morning, feeling dreary and hopeless. That'd be as useless as trying to heal it had turned out. That pathetic creature had just hung around here miserably until, one day, it died. Sooner or later probably hadn't made much difference, not when it was bound to die all along. Alex ran off, heading for the woods at the edge of the village where he could slip away unseen.

Once he was a good distance from Imil, Alex slowed down, picking a more careful route beneath the trees. Soon he'd be back home again, back at the Lighthouse. Alex knew nobody else was truly comfortable with its existence; it was too different, nothing like the houses people knew how to build, the places they understood. But it was better… Shouldn't that be obvious? So comfy without needing to be cozy, everything seemed stable and still, like something vast that you just didn't need to worry about, the sort of change that would never change, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Besides, it was where he'd found out how different _everything_ used to be. Life was supposed to be loud and long and exciting, a load of important people from every corner of Weyard writing books together about rich, exotic, powerful ideas… But not these days. Not for a long time.

Alex shivered. He seemed to have misjudged how cold it would be, here, today. Who'd have thought winter set in so early, so quickly? He hadn't remembered it like this… But he was doing it again, thinking thoughts that felt strange. Better to focus on walking through the trees…

This was taking far too long. He should be nearly there, but the woods weren't thinning out. Weird. Maybe he should climb a tree, check he was still heading the right way. Reaching the top branches, scanning the horizon in all directions… This was impossible. It couldn't… The Lighthouse wasn't there! Why wasn't it?… That unmistakable tower, visible from miles away, was simply… gone.

Alex climbed down, getting rather scared. This couldn't… it couldn't really be happening. He'd better just get back to his grandma's house, forget about… whatever, and it wouldn't have happened. He'd be able to see it when he was in Imil, and try again some other time, when… whatever. He headed back the way he'd come, determinedly staying calm.

Paying his surroundings such close attention he felt a little paranoid, Alex was relieved to reach the edge of the woods exactly when he should. Except… something wasn't right. Passing the last few trees, he should have been able to see the first few houses from here. There was nothing. Beyond that, more nothing. A vast snowy clearing lay before him. Imil was gone too.

Alex stood there, staring. This… nothing… He wandered through the snow, through the space where all the buildings should have been, looking for _something_ that made _sense_ to… When he reached the empty air that used to be his family's house, Alex stopped and knelt down in the snow. His handprints made inroads into the vast expanse of unbroken white. If he made a snow angel, would it come to life? There was no-one else around. He laid down on his side and felt the snow melt against his face. The chill was real enough. Did he really have nowhere left to turn? Alex raised his head, looking east just in case. If only he could get there after all, all he'd really wanted… Still not… It was gone for good, wasn't it?

As he sat up, he noticed a bit of paper lying in the snow. Picking it up, he wondered - was this what he'd been hoping for? On it was a single printed word. Alex let the sheet drift out of his hands. 'Disowned'… What did _that_ mean? Was Imil gone because the village had disowned someone? Alex gasped. They hadn't noticed he was gone, hadn't told him who he was supposed to be disowning or where everyone was living now! They'd come back for him, right? Unless… Alex started to feel sick. It didn't mean him. It couldn't mean him! He was just a kid, he hadn't done anything wrong! _Not yet_… Wait, what? He hadn't done anything wrong, that was all!

Try to keep calm. Could he wait here? Sit around alone in the snow? No. Where could he walk to? Nowhere was near enough. So just… not here. The sea, then. Alex laughed. It would be freezing cold, but this was winter after all. He could sit and watch it all freeze over. Where better...? Alex set off with his eyes closed, back through the woods.

What else could go wrong? The air was getting warmer. Alex looked around. Sand between the tree roots. Huh. Kept walking, so… Thinning out. The trees were gone. Looking up. Probably. The sun was high in the sky. Far too bright. Down… Sand everywhere. Alex spun around. An endless desert, even behind him! Standing there shakily, he didn't know what to think anymore.

The air was wavering too. It was too hot. Way too much. The sun was too big. It looked too close, and he was boiling. Alex brought his arm up in front of his face. It really was boiling… All the water was boiling off, steaming away, and his skin was all gross and… He fell, face hitting the ground, fingers digging into the sand and finding rock just underneath. Rock! He tried to pull away, but didn't have the strength. He felt bone dry. Every drop of water was seeping away into the sand, boiling off into that blazing sun… He was going to crumble to pieces, a pile of sand…

So he had nothing left. Practically dead. Except that wasn't quite right. Someone else would intervene, somewhere, or had done already… Wouldn't it be different, having to live without being all he had? He could only hope it would be worth the effort. He couldn't even see where all the vapour had drifted away to. There was a little more water coming… How'd he know that? Jupiter? To make full use of it, he would have to be someone who could cope with anything… Good thing he already was.

* * *

Isaac sat staring at Alex. What on Weyard was he dreaming about? Or maybe he didn't want to know. At least Felix should be back soon. Three, two, one… The door opened. Weird, how randomly good his intuition sometimes was, even when he wasn't focusing his Alchemy. Isaac smiled as Felix walked in, followed by…

"Mia? You came?" Isaac was slightly surprised. She'd seemed glad to get away earlier.

"Did he really…" Mia dashed over to Isaac's side, shaking her head as she saw for herself. "Oh, what an idiot!"

"He is, isn't he?" Felix agreed. "So, what do you think?"

"I… think you'll have to show me how it didn't work." Mia replied.

Isaac grinned as he stood up to try again. Mia was here. She could heal anything. If she couldn't figure this out, it wasn't worth trying. The second try certainly didn't work, just as she'd requested.

"Maybe… You two always use as much Venus as you can in your Alchemy. He could be sick of earth or something." Mia wondered. Isaac and Felix met eyes, a little surprised. They'd never have thought about it like that.

"Then I guess you'd better try Mercury, right?" Isaac offered.

"Right." Mia closed her eyes, starting to gather swirls of endless blue in her palms. Think calm, kind, gentle thoughts… Her eyes snapped open. "You know, I might just try…" She decided, rather irritated, walking around to start searching the room's cupboards and shelves.

"Try what?" Felix asked, getting curious.

"Pure Mercury. He did seem to appreciate that earlier, if nothing else!" Mia finally fished out a bucket, filling it with water herself. She didn't generally bother with taps anymore.

"How's he supposed to drink…" Isaac started to ask, straight away feeling slightly stupid. "Oh, right, he's not."

"Right." Mia flung the water at Alex, narrowly avoiding throwing the bucket at his head too.

As the water drenched him, Alex's eyes opened, a slow smile spreading across his face. He sat up on the edge of the bed, toying with his dripping hair and looking thoroughly lost in thought. Everyone else simply stared. Even though Alex kept flinching and his breathing was constantly shallow and pained, he seemed to be completely ignoring the hole in his chest… It was even starting to bleed, and he was just sitting there, totally oblivious!

To be fair, Alex did have a lot to think about. Left with the memory of a very peculiar dream, with all his usual thoughts once more accessible, he found himself coming to some strange conclusions.

The first time around, he'd been too bored of Imil to consider the scenery especially pretty, and memories don't tend to change by themselves. Going back there, he'd only seen it the same way, as the same child, even if he'd appreciated it at the start without quite knowing why. Thinking about it now, how different it was to the place he'd been stuck in for far longer… Imil was beautiful. The sky, the snow, the smoking chimneys… Amazing. He still didn't really like it. It was a weird feeling. Though he didn't know why he'd been so struck by that word… Disowned. It wasn't exactly banishment, and even if it had been, he didn't want to go back! He'd thought it left him nowhere. He had… Ah. He had a space in Lemuria, as an unwelcome guest. His name was 'Alex, hated'. Perhaps it did make some sort of sense.

Anyway, some thoughts seemed far harder to fathom. Why'd he keep going on about the weather? Was there anything he couldn't quite let himself think, even in a dream? The sun had been too intense, right at the end. Unmistakable… The golden sun. Was he… What an insult! The golden sun was the best thing that had ever happened to him! Maybe he'd been through a lot for it… But if he hadn't, he would be dead by now anyway. That, or old and doomed… Certainly as good as dead.

Anyway, he was alive now. Even that… It was because of other people, wasn't it? Dreams pointed out some strange, rather obvious things. For as long as the other part of the golden sun was out of reach… Whatever progress he might make towards it, he would still be waiting, watching it shine in another's hands. Watching another shine in its light. Alex had resented Isaac earlier, but he hadn't thought of every second in which Isaac continued to breathe as a wasted opportunity. How could Kraden have dropped such a devastating bombshell? To hear that the true golden sun lay within reach even now, that the fragments they had been left could still become more than the sum of their parts, that the finite could become infinite by joining itself through the reverse of whatever blasphemy the 'Wise One' had worked to remove that immortal light in the first place… The revelation had gone straight to his spine, casting his whole life in a new meaning, its old meaning, rendering all his suffering immaterial because it had brought him to that moment. Dreaming of his old life might help him find the patience to endure his old goal, despite the immediacy of his new experiences. Isaac might be the gateway to the divine, but he was still Isaac; it would do no good to let one demigod monopolise every shred of his attention every second of the day. He couldn't obsess over the end goal to the exclusion of all else. He had to explore every resource available without losing hope, no matter how long it might take. He needed the material and political aid of people, plural, to better his situation, and there were plenty of people to turn to.

If he wanted to lessen the pressure, he could use his Alchemy to forget what Kraden had told him until he'd accumulated more power. Still, the others had heard the news too, and they could raise the subject at any time. It would probably creep them out if he didn't know what they were talking about. Perhaps that wasn't such a practical idea. Besides, he wasn't entirely willing to forget, no matter how high the pressure or how poor the current state of his impulse control. A part of him now felt more committed to being here, more convinced that he had made the right decision by trying to survive. In that sense, regaining the warmth of a reason to live wasn't such a bad thing, no matter how fiercely it burned. He would endure, no matter how long it might take. It was heartening even to know that the divine could still be born from the shards of this mortal world.

Alex wondered whether he'd ever harboured this sort of hope before, in all the years below. If he'd used his Alchemy to forget it, the way he'd just considered, then he wouldn't have any way of knowing what he didn't know, or when he'd forgotten it, or when he'd intended to remember it again...

Felix coughed. Alex looked up, and noticed how strangely these three were staring at him. They were all looking rather pale. Hadn't they sorted everything out? He'd made it so easy for them!

"Trouble?" Alex asked.

"What?" Isaac's voice sounded slightly higher than usual.

"Trouble? Yeah, you are." Felix replied, waiting for an explanation.

"No, no… Was there trouble?" Alex repeated. "Did the philosophers cause any problems?" He clarified, when they just kept looking at him strangely.

"No, like I said, you're our biggest problem. Want to tell us what on Weyard you were thinking?" Felix was starting to sound annoyed.

"What exactly did you think was going to happen?" Alex demanded. "I could hear what was going on at your end of the room, you know. Do you really think I could have raised a sword against a loved and trusted 'Governor of Alchemy' in a room full of angry people and got away with just walking out with you, holding hands? They all hated me, and seeing me do something so appalling… I confused them, left them too unsure to object to you getting me out of there. Who'd threaten a man who already looks so hurt?" Alex noticed, as he finished, that his explanation had left Mia looking quite appalled too. What was up with her?

"You didn't need to." Isaac whispered. Alex noticed that Isaac was looking even paler now.

"Need? It was the best way. It's not only those scholars who'll judge me by my actions there, is it? News must travel fast these days, now that everyone can teleport. If those academics wanted me dead, how do you think the thugs in Tolbi or Prox are going to react?" Alex glared at Isaac. Why'd everyone have to be so stupid?

"Know what? You're right!" Felix snapped. Alex looked over, surprised. Felix was really angry. "Some people are going to hate you! So what are you going to do about it? Stay one step ahead, rip yourself to pieces? Think they'd be satisfied unless you went the whole way and really killed yourself? How is that the best way out?" Felix paused, glaring at Alex, who couldn't find a reply. "Trust us, Alex! We won't let anything happen. Just stop attacking other people, and stop attacking yourself!"

Alex nodded, slightly shocked. Felix sighed. He really was trouble.

"Right… I apologise, then." Alex eventually replied. He still thought he'd done the best thing in the circumstances, but Felix was right. He couldn't do it again. "So… Everything is sorted out now, isn't it? It's all fine - "

"Fine? You still…" Isaac's voice was getting even stranger.

"What?" Alex asked. Everyone was still staring at him.

"You're… your…" Isaac shook his head, not quite believing it. Beside him, Mia was looking just as pale, but awfully grim.

"Look down." Felix advised.

They watched as Alex did look down, finally seeing what he'd done to his chest. It had been bleeding so long, the red had seeped down his clothes to pool around him, dripping down onto the floor. Alex paled, his eyes widening. After a flicker of golden light, Alex's wound was healed, his tunic was mended and the blood was gone. Isaac wondered if he'd absorbed it. Still, Alex was looking totally unnerved. That, at least, didn't surprise anyone.

"That… That was _really_ hurting…" Alex muttered. "But I didn't…"

"Notice?" Isaac asked. Alex nodded, staring glazed-eyed through him.

"Don't notice much, do you?" Mia muttered.

Alex blinked, and glared at her. "You could have told me, you know!"

"You could have told me!" Mia snapped back. "When Felix told me what you'd done, I… I actually thought you might be sorry! That you were apologizing… I was pretty stupid, wasn't I? You're just… just selfish and crazy. That's all you've ever been." Mia finished, once again fighting back tears.

"Yeah, you're stupid! Why'd you always have to think there's something wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with me, so leave me alone!" Alex snapped. Felix and Isaac stared. Where did _that_ come from?

"Alex?" Isaac wasn't sure what to say.

"Just… Just forget I said that." Alex muttered. "What… What she said proves my point earlier, though, doesn't it? Can't expect much from the rest of Weyard when even one as kindhearted as Mia detests me." Alex noticed that his words seemed to have shocked Mia, made her even more upset. "Oh, come on. You made it quite clear that you hate me. Remember earlier? You said you wished I had truly died! You threatened me with execution!"

"What's he talking about, Mia?" Isaac asked, rather surprised; he hadn't thought Alex would start lying like that. When Isaac saw that Mia was backing off, blinking back tears, he went over to comfort her, wishing he hadn't spoken so insensitively. "Hey, it's all right. Whatever you said, I know you didn't mean it like that. Right?" Isaac pulled his friend into a hug that she gratefully returned.

"I… no…" Mia couldn't say what she meant. She hated hating. This was so embarrassing. She should be keeping it together. "I…" Mia sniffed and pulled away, pulling her sleeves straight. "I've got to go… Go make a cup of tea. Two sugars, no milk!" Mia snapped, her eyes flashing angrily, before leaving the room in a hurry.

"Alex! What did I just say about attacking other people?" Felix asked, rather annoyed.

"I… Sorry, I suppose." Alex replied. The others were both glaring at him. "But then, if she doesn't mean it… why is she doing it?" Alex frowned. That wasn't quite what he'd meant to say. He wasn't sure how it ought to have sounded.

"Don't you understand what _you did_ at all?" Isaac demanded.

"Nothing I've done has anything to do with her!" Alex insisted.

"No. You…" Isaac sighed. He couldn't believe he was going to have to explain this. "You abandoned the world, Alex. Leaving to take the golden sun for yourself… The Wise One couldn't trust mankind when it saw that, didn't think we could bring back Alchemy without bringing back all those wars, the selfish power struggles that would destroy the world. We had to prove ourselves. At Mars Lighthouse, we… I thought I was making a very painful sacrifice, worse than giving up my own life, to save the rest of the world. I had to do that because... well, because you..."

"Is this why Mia hates me, or why you do?" Alex interrupted. Isaac blinked, remembering what he was supposed to be explaining.

"I don't hate you. I can't." Isaac sighed, wondering how much easier the quest and its aftermath would have been on him if he'd blamed other people for all his problems. He hadn't let himself think that way since Saturos and Menardi's deaths, and he wasn't going to let that change. "The point is, you stopped caring about the rest of the world. You discarded everyone who wasn't useful to you, and even admitted it to Felix once, as if there was nothing wrong with it. Civilisation wouldn't have lasted if we'd all behaved that way; the Wise One wouldn't have allowed it. Because of you, the world almost wasn't saved. Acting so heartlessly…" Isaac trailed off. They'd all reached a certain unspoken agreement that morning. They couldn't bring up the worst thing Alex had done, because if he didn't regret it… Nobody could justify this sort of kindness towards that sort of monster. They'd talk about it when everyone was sure Alex would truly regret it. Isaac restarted his answer once again. "The point is, you grew up with Mia. While you turned into someone who would leave on a condemnable quest, she was there every day, spending more time with you than anyone else. She knows she can't have been your biggest influence, though we've never been able to figure out what was… She knows her kindness helps people really. Still, sometimes what you know can't stop you feeling responsible."

"Oh!" Alex laughed. She was giving herself credit for a miracle she wasn't happy about, and taking it out on him. "So she's being selfish too. How is that my problem?"

"Guilt is not selfish!" Isaac snapped, rather too loudly. Alex looked intrigued. Isaac sighed. Why did he keep talking without thinking?

"What do you feel guilty about, then?" Alex asked. This was getting interesting.

"Alex! Attacking other people?" Felix reminded him with another glare.

"Right… I'm sorry, then." Alex apologized again.

"All you need to know," Felix continued, "is that you and Isaac are very, very different. You may not feel guilty, but you actually should."

"Perhaps." Alex answered simply. He was glad they didn't know much.

"Which raises another point." Felix went on. "A short while ago, you almost tried to kill Isaac. Then you didn't. We know why you'd want to. Have you given up, or...?"

Alex wondered how to respond. Clearly, 'no' was not an option, but… What would they understand? What would they believe?

"Do you still mean to kill me?" Isaac asked, meeting Alex's gaze.

"I… I can't imagine letting myself die. I can't just die, if instead I could… not die. But I don't want to kill you! That should be obvious. I can't kill you. And I have a lot of time to think, before I… run out of time. I want you to stay alive, because of who you are. So… is that enough?" Alex fought to keep his voice steady. It was only partly a lie; a half-truth. He couldn't tell them everything he wanted Isaac to have to live through, because of who he was. But a half truth was really too much of a truth... Still, he couldn't let himself keep thinking he hated Isaac. Those barbaric feelings were completely out of place, obviously as self-defeating as the motives of the lowest hypocrite. If he wasn't going to kill him yet - and he couldn't try for real until he was sure he could go through with it, sure that it would be a success - if he wasn't going to kill him yet, then he had to get along with him, _now_, rather than letting any mutual hostility develop. That had to be the more tolerable option. Anyway, if they understood what he was saying and saw the significance it granted Isaac's life, then this was the most convincing thing he could say. They couldn't expect him to place anyone else's life above his own!

"Yes." Isaac smiled. "Yes, I think that is enough. It's all I can ask of you. Thank you."

Alex couldn't help but feel surprised to see Isaac smiling at him. It was as he'd hoped, except... It was more. Isaac really did look happy. As if, throughout everything Alex had said and done, Isaac had been determined to think the best of him, to confirm this path, and now he could. In fact... Alex felt slightly disturbed. If he'd had more of a choice, he wouldn't have trusted these people with nearly so much information, but then Isaac wouldn't have found some sort of faith in him, wouldn't see and for some reason smile at the sight... It didn't mean anything. If they saw him any more clearly, they wouldn't be so keen to stick by their decision to aid him, to say the least... Even that was irrelevant. Trust was an unimaginable impossibility. Always. Why was he thinking this?

"I'm not so sure that's enough." Felix interrupted everyone else's thoughts. "But it'll do for now."

"Good." Isaac laughed. "So shall we get out of here?"

"I suppose we should keep showing you the world." Felix sighed. "What did you learn from Kraden?"

"Ageing, planetary expansion… quite a lot." Alex replied. "I think I'd like to go out and see what he was talking about now, if it's fine with you both."

"See the world…" Isaac thought through the options. "We could see a lot of it at once. Want to go flying?"

"In the ship with wings? I thought that was still…"

"Not that. Plana wings." Felix interrupted.

"Plana sells people wings." Isaac took over. Felix always got tired of explaining himself. No wonder Alex was annoying him so much. "She lives in Contigo. She started… I think it was twenty three years ago now. She was about… I guess she would have looked about six, by the old standards, though she was older of course. Her mother was telling her the story of the flying ship, showing her the designs in the ground on the outskirts of town, when Plana asked why people didn't make wings for themselves too. Her mother told her that nobody had thought of it like that. Generally, Alchemy makes anything possible, but it doesn't do anything unless you think of something. That can be a lot harder than it sounds."

"I know what you mean. Really." Alex assured him. If he hadn't finally thought of telepathy, he'd still be… How much longer would he have lasted? If he hadn't thought of something… His whole life. Alex shivered. Flying sounded wonderful.

"Plana grew her first pair of wings on her own shoulders, creating all the bone and feathers and stuff within a couple of months. She grows them on trees now, in batches, and she'll attach them to anyone who doesn't have the Alchemy to do it themselves. They usually last a few years, if you take good care of them when you're not wearing them. Hers are permanent. They don't exactly work like bird wings, they're not strong enough for you to fly with just muscle power, but using them takes a lot less Alchemy than flying by yourself. I have a spare pair at the palace you can use if you want, or we can buy you your own." Isaac smiled as he finished. Talking so much did get a bit tiring, but it was a relief to have found an easier topic.

"Sound good?" Felix asked.

"Of course. I'll use yours, Isaac." Alex got up to go, then remembered the sword. Picking up the fire brand that Felix had left on the floor, Alex noticed that the others looked slightly shocked.

"I thought you said…" Isaac sounded unsure.

"This was a gift, wasn't it? Can't I keep it?" Alex asked.

"A gift… Sure. You can keep it." Isaac smiled again. Taking the sword's scabbard from his belt, he handed that over too. "Let's go."

* * *

Felix waited with Alex outside the House of Light while Isaac fetched everyone's plana wings. Alex was slightly apprehensive about looking at the sun again, but his eyes were nonetheless drawn to it the instant he stepped outside. He needn't have worried. The sun was still brilliant. Five minutes later, Alex was still gazing at the sky when Isaac returned.

Fitting the wings was easy once Alex saw how the others did it. The Alchemy that joined the wings to his back overlapped with his clothes in a strange way that Alex didn't really like. He eventually tore a couple of holes in his tunic instead. He could fix it later.

All three sets of wings were brown, though Isaac told Alex that they were made in plenty of other colours too. Spreading his wings, Alex decided that brown feathers and blue hair didn't look quite right together. He had a look at the Alchemy, and managed to turn his feathers white fairly easily. Stretching them again, Alex grinned. Glossy white wings, stretching out five feet either side of him… They looked… On second thought, the imagery wasn't very welcome. It was like the world kept trying to tell him he was dead. Alex turned his wings brown again.

"Made up your mind?" Felix asked, trying not to show a hint of a smile.

"This is fine." Alex shrugged. Watching the others take off, Alex followed, until the three of them were flying east over the ocean, matching each other's speed.

"We've got to keep gaining height." Isaac explained as they rose. "Most of the monsters have died off now, but the ones that are left are quite strong. Once we get about thirty feet up, we shouldn't be bothered."

"How high can you go?" Alex asked.

"Not sure. The air gets thin if you go too far up, and it gets harder to breathe, like on high mountains. People who've messed around have sometimes passed out… You should be able to tell in time." Isaac replied.

"In other words, don't climb too close to the sun or I'll fall?" Alex asked. Very bitterly.

"Stick with us this time and you'll be fine." Felix answered. Alex didn't reply.

As the quiet flight stretched on, Alex found he was enjoying himself. The sea below was beautiful, after all. The way the morning light reflected off the waves… The cold air was incredible. Just to be here… He'd never thought he'd experience anything like this again. All his thoughts were stilled. To find that happiness could do that too…

Eventually, a cluster of islands started to show through the mist in the distance. They were already headed straight for them. Alex wondered how many times these two had flown this route.

"Those are the Apojii Islands. Did you ever go there?" Isaac asked. Alex shook his head.

"If you had, you'd see that they're a lot bigger now." Felix continued. "This is where Weyard's expansion is measured. You'll be able to see how soon."

Sure enough, as they approached, Alex could make out the many flickering golden lines radiating from the land's highest point, stretching straight out across the ocean every way except due west.

"Those things are coloured air lines." Isaac explained. "Well, it's not exactly the air that's coloured, it's the space, or they'd blow away… I guess you get the idea. Weyard's growth isn't exactly uniform, but keeping track of these distances to the edge gives us more than enough information to calculate a reasonably accurate ratio, so that we know how large the planet is from end to end without having to keep measuring the whole distance."

"That makes sense." Alex replied. They wouldn't need so many unless they wanted to average out slight variations… And the islands were wonderfully green in the morning light. And how did they make sure the lines were perfectly straight? And…

"What's wrong? Bored?" Felix asked.

"What? No…" Alex frowned. Did he really look…? He was used to not letting his face betray his thoughts, but he hadn't thought he was still…

"Isn't this what you wanted to be doing?" Isaac asked.

"Yes! Flying like this, seeing all this… Really. I've always wanted…" Alex stopped as he realized what he was saying.

"Always? Is this a part of what you wanted Alchemy for in the first place?" Isaac wondered. This sort of freedom… That would be a much nicer concept than all they'd thought his plans had been.

"A small part, I suppose." Alex admitted. It seemed to be what Isaac wanted to hear. "Not quite like this, though." He added. Flying with these two would have been a strange thing to have wanted back then. It was a strange thing to enjoy now…

"Not like this? Like what?" Isaac asked.

"Well…" Alex decided there was no harm in explaining a little. He was surprised by how difficult it was to put perfection into words. "I only ever imagined this... by myself, going wherever... as in... everywhere. Within... faster than this. Far more…"

"You want to go off on your own?" Isaac interrupted.

"What? No. No, I know I can't…" Alex hadn't wanted to sound like he was complaining.

"It's all right. You can look around a bit by yourself if you want." Isaac offered. "Only if you want." He added when Alex just looked at him, clearly surprised.

"I…" Alex realized it would be good, to fly by himself for a while. "I will. Thank you."

"We'll wait here, okay?" Isaac smiled. Alex nodded, turned and flew off, dashing upwards without really using his wings. Within seconds, he was a distant dot in the sky.

"Why'd you let him go off on his own?" Felix asked. He hadn't wanted to interfere with how Isaac wanted to handle this, but still…

"This is Alex. If he thinks we won't give him space, he's going to resent us pretty soon, right?"

"And if he gets into trouble?"

"His Alchemy's not supposed to be that dangerous. I don't think anyone would be able to attack him either. Besides, if he does get into trouble, he won't be so keen to wander off again, will he?" Isaac grinned.

"That's true!" Felix smiled. "Still, better hope he's all right."

"Yeah. Well, we can wait." Isaac sighed. Couldn't help worrying…

* * *

Alex flew higher and higher, until the Apojii Islands were a distant speck at one end of the strange landscape below him, and Lemuria was a faint dot at the other end, with a sparse scattering of other islands in between. Who'd have thought the land could ever look so small? It was like looking at a map, except it was real, the sea shifting and glittering distantly… It was unreal. How many people knew the world looked like this?

Flying off again even further westward and upward, Alex found something was bothering him. Surely this was perfect… Wait, it was because he couldn't see Felix and Isaac any more. Why would that bother him? Alex flew even faster, annoyed at himself. But not for long. When the continents started to appear on the horizon… That was a distraction. It was breathtaking. He forgot to breathe for quite a while.

In the air above Gondowan, Alex spotted someone else flying a lot higher than thirty feet up, though not nearly as high as him. Going down a little for a closer look, he could see it was a man in his late thirties - he must be older really, of course - scanning the area impatiently for something. Alex thought he looked familiar, but couldn't quite tell why. As he got closer, the man seemed to notice him.

#Hey there! You with the blue hair! Are you of Lemuria, Imil or Garoh?# The man hailed him telepathically. Alex stopped, a little confused. That was a strange question. At least he hadn't been recognized yet. His own vision was probably better than most people's now.

#I've just come from Lemuria. Who are you?# Alex replied. It didn't seem like bluntness mattered to this person.

#Saul of Lalivero. So you were in Lemuria. Did you see, then? Is it true?# Saul of Lalivero sounded very anxious, and Alex had a feeling he knew why that might be.

#Is what true?# Alex asked, just to be sure.

#That the worst murderer of the Unlit Age has returned! What else would I be talking about?# Saul shot back.

Alex was taken aback, despite his expectations. He was _not_ a murderer! At least… _Not yet_… He hadn't even done most of the fighting back then, though the way rumours worked, people might think he'd killed with Saturos and Menardi, or Karst and Agatio, when they were fighting their way through enemies… Though the Proxans had a better excuse than him, enough to be remembered as heroes by some, and Alex knew he was the one who'd been seen with all of them. Suddenly, Alex remembered where he'd seen Saul before. Outside Venus Lighthouse when he'd been fighting for once, to help Jenna and Kraden get away when Jenna had just proved herself remarkably dedicated to their cause, willing to fight her way through an army to continue the quest for the same reasons as her brother… Saul had been the second soldier Alex had attacked. His opponents had all been shocked by his appearance, manner and Psynergy. They'd thought him a monster, which had been exactly what he'd been aiming for at the time. He'd thought his reputation wouldn't matter one way or the other once he became all-powerful… Alex wondered whether he should leave and wait for help dealing with all the people who hated him the way Felix had wanted, but he quickly dismissed that idea. If he couldn't handle talking to one person, that would be pathetic!

#Well? You do know who I'm talking about, right?# Saul seemed to find it very strange how long he'd gone without replying. #Alex. The one on the Aleph Memorial. The one who fell with Mt. Aleph!#

#Alex of Aleph? Yes, I know who you're talking about.#

#Good. I was really starting to worry… Hey, 'Alex of Aleph', that's just right; why'd no one ever think of it before?#

Alex wished he hadn't said that. Why did he have to play around with words? Now he'd gone and got himself renamed. This was worse than 'Alex of Imil'… Though perhaps not quite as bad as 'disowned'. At least 'Aleph' had meant something great, the start of all things, despite what had transpired there in his lifetime.

#Did you want to talk or not?# Alex asked, trying not to sound impatient. He wasn't looking forward to the reaction when Saul found out who he was talking to.

#Yeah. Are you going to talk then, or what?# Saul asked. Alex realized he might not be used to people who weren't that forthcoming…

#We'd better land somewhere.# Alex decided, pulling his wings back and diving down, hopefully too fast for Saul's eyes to quite follow. He was right over the cliffs left over from the Suhalla Gate, as good a place as any. Perhaps this was putting it off… But if Saul spent a little more time talking to him first, maybe his reaction wouldn't be too bad.

#Sure, I guess…# Saul seemed to be getting slightly unnerved by his behaviour already. #Is it big news, then?#

#Why don't you tell me what you've heard first?# Alex asked, landing at the foot of the cliffs. Saul started to follow at a much slower pace, though he was hurrying too. Looking around, Alex could see what Kraden had meant when he talked about the land growing, and growing wilder. The cliffs stretched as far as he could see either way, and the pathways higher up had mostly collapsed, leaving heaps of rock all along the ground. A few hundred yards of patchy brown grass dotted with spiky bushes ran along the base of the cliffs, eventually giving way to proper woodland blocking any distant view there might have been of the sea. Alex would still have considered it a fine place if he'd been free to enjoy the light shining down and the life growing all around… But right now, he wished he had picked somewhere less dry, somewhere more blue.

#What I've heard is bad enough already. Someone passed through Lalivero a little while ago saying somebody'd told him the Governors of Alchemy had brought back this psycho and taken him to the House of Light, where he went crazy and started attacking everyone! The Governors had to stick a sword through his head to stop him, and you know what the worst part is? It didn't kill him! Nobody was quite sure how true it all was, so someone went to Lemuria, where someone else said she'd just seen them leave. She said it was true, except she'd heard they'd sliced his heart out, but either way, they'd just flown off and they hadn't even put him in chains! Don't know what the Governors are thinking… Don't know where they were headed either, but I'm supposed to be watching the skies here, so if you have to land to talk, you'd better not take too long. Where exactly did you land, anyway? And who are you? Why didn't you give your name?#

#I'm… down by the…# Alex couldn't see any landmark to describe, so he lit up a patch of space above him instead, trying to mimic that coloured air. That was the easiest question answered… Could he give his name yet? He was bound to unnerve Saul if he lied then let him see who he was, or told the truth, or didn't tell him… And what could he say about those rumours? Saul wouldn't believe him if he claimed that nothing at all had happened.

#Thanks, I see where you are now. But aren't you going to answer my _other _questions?#

#I… To be honest, I don't particularly like my name right now. Say, I know where I've heard of you before! You won Colosso that time, right? Didn't you used to live in Tolbi?# Alex tried to distract him.

#Uhh… Not for a long time. I've lived in Lalivero since soon after the Lighting, when Sheba came back safe. I guess news travels slowly some places… Wherever you're from. There was a time when one of Babi's soldiers moving to Lalivero would have been unthinkable, but I fought against our real enemy - the one that's back today!# Saul sounded proud. Alex wouldn't have called it a fight exactly - he'd sent Saul flying with one jet of water, and hadn't seen him again.

#So why did you move to Lalivero?# Alex asked. Saul was landing now, about a hundred yards away, right by the cliff. He was walking over… He'd see him soon.

#It's good and dry there. Close to the desert. It's… You! You're… you…# Saul stopped and stared.

#Yes, I am me. That should no longer pose the problem it once did, assuming you're still willing to talk to me.# Somehow, Alex doubted he would be.

Saul raised his arms, and Alex could tell he was about to use Alchemy. It felt like fire… Maybe he should let one attack hit. Not to let himself get hurt, just to avoid looking invulnerable, infallible and inhuman this time.

"Anyone can do what you did these days! I'm stronger than you think - you'll see!" Saul yelled across the distance between them, letting loose a stream of white-hot flames that Alex found he had to shield himself against a little. Still, when they died down, he looked a bit singed…

"Yes, you're stronger than me. You win. So would you please leave it at that?" Alex called back. It didn't seem to help.

"You… I'm not falling for anything! What are you… If I can win this, I will!" Saul shouted, hurling more fire at Alex. More and more…

Blocking it all, the flames fizzling out as they reached his skin, Alex gave up on talking to this idiot. He'd just have to leave, and let the Governors deal with Saul later after all. Alex turned and stepped away, about to take off again, only to find that the air behind him felt solid as a stone wall… Why was there a barrier? Turning back, he saw Saul standing against the cliff face, looking terrified, exhilarated and proud. Alex felt to see how far the barrier went, and found that it formed a large dome around the area, trapping him with Saul… Because he couldn't break it. It didn't matter how weak it was, he couldn't break it. He checked to see if he could warp through it. The way it blocked that was even weaker… But he still couldn't get through. This was ridiculous! The way their strengths compared, it was like holding the sun in check with tissue paper! How could he be trapped again?

"What do you think you're doing? Let me go!" Alex yelled across the distance. "Right now! Or..."

"I told you, I'm not falling for anything!" Saul yelled back, without letting the fire stop.

Alex clenched his fists, trying to calm down. He wasn't in any danger. He just had to tell Isaac, get him here to sort this out.

#Isaac! Can you hear me?# Alex demanded.

#Yeah. What is it?# Isaac sounded concerned. Good.

#Trouble. Will you help?# Alex asked as patiently as he could.

#Of course. Where are you?#

#Suhalla cliffs. How soon can you and Felix be here?#

#Wow. That's miles away. Okay, we'll have to land and teleport somewhere nearer. We'll be there as soon as we can.#

#Then do that.# Alex looked over at Saul again. "You can't keep me here. I've got help coming." As soon as he said it, Alex realized it had been precisely the wrong thing to say.

"You…" Saul paled and leaned back against the cliff, no longer attacking for a moment. "You will _not_ win!" He snarled, grabbing one of the rocks around him and hurling it at Alex.

Stumbling back, Alex threw his arms up to cover his face and made a barrier in mid air, stopping the rock before it got anywhere near him. Lowering his hands, he realized what a mistake that had been, too. Now Saul was going to switch elements... Why couldn't he have let his normal shield stop it? It wouldn't have done him any harm! Saul was starting to manifest rocks in the air all around him...

"I meant the Governors of Alchemy are coming!"

"Quit with the obvious lies! I know what you meant!"

As the rocks started flying at him, Alex made himself keep his arms by his sides, made himself trust his normal shield. He had to _know_ that he was perfectly safe, _know_that it didn't matter how long Saul kept this up, he wasn't going to get impatient, he was perfectly fine, completely safe, ignoring all the stones bouncing off him as he shielded, piling up around his feet... Alex tried to kick away the rocks that had built up on the ground, but it didn't do much good when more kept falling on him and flying at him and... He backed away as far as he could, hitting the barrier again and making himself step forward, telling himself that these were just pebbles, just grit... There was no danger, so just wait! He shouldn't have needed to back away; this was objectively no different to the fire, there was nothing truly wrong, he shouldn't care. Perfectly safe, don't react, don't be ridiculous, this was, no, just wait for it to stop...

A rock a foot wide hit him square in the chest, and his shielding didn't absorb any of the force. Alex was slammed back into the barrier, ribs cracking, head snapping back and hitting hard enough to feel as if that had cracked too. He collapsed onto the rocks littering the ground, totally stunned. That should _never_ have happened. Never! That hadn't been nearly enough to break his shield from the outside... So something else was wrong. Something was wrong with him, decaying from the inside. It wasn't working... His shield had never failed before… He'd caused this. It couldn't be, but it had to be. Stabbing himself in the back, too! Useless... Alex heard Saul walking over, but he barely registered it.

"That rock beat you, huh?" Saul said, calm at last, as he kicked Alex in the head. When he didn't get a response, he turned and walked away, breaking the barrier now that it had served its purpose.

Alex blinked as his head slammed back down. Once, that rock may have beaten him, but now, to get beaten up by a bug! That awful, evil rock! It wanted to do that to him and leave? It had to _hurt _for that, not just leave him there, had to _pay_ this time!

Climbing to his knees, ignoring the blood dripping from his hair, Alex watched as Saul walked back over to the cliff, shaking his head.

Alex picked up the rock he'd been hit with and threw it across the distance, augmenting his strength with Alchemy with barely a thought. He watched as it hit Saul in the back of the head, as the Laliveran collapsed on the ground. He picked up another rock, holding it ready in his hand, and walked over. Saul was still breathing... Alex put his foot down on his throat. Saul's heart was still beating. Alex waited for it to stop.

#Alex! Stop! What are you _doing_?#

Alex spun around, saw Isaac and Felix approaching, and threw the rock he was holding at Isaac.

And Isaac froze in the air, completely shocked. He knew he should have expected… but he hadn't. Not at all.

Felix raised his hand. The stone stopped, and fell back down to earth. Alex watched it fall.

Oh... no. No. Not a bug. A god. He couldn't... How could he have...?

Alex backed away. The way they were looking at him… They knew now, knew who he wanted to kill, more tangible than a half truth, and wasn't he stupid to still want to finish off that other one too? Even in front of them. So stupid... And they were looking at him, so horrified, so sad, and they were going to kill him, weren't they? He couldn't protect himself when he ought to be able to - it wasn't working, it wasn't enough, he couldn't hide it, and they knew, and he didn't, of course it would be this way, all wrong, how could he have ever thought it could be set right? - and Isaac had near-infinite destructive power! They were landing, and Felix was seeing to the other one, and Isaac was walking this way, and Alex couldn't even look at his face any more… Alex backed off, shaking worse and worse, until he ran into the cliff behind him. His legs gave out, and he sank to the ground, trying to find something to say as Isaac approached... Too far, too far above the ground to know... Too bright...

"Trouble?" Felix whispered, kneeling by Saul. Too clear a sound, too certain.

"Don't... no. You... don't. " Alex found his voice, which didn't seem to have been doing anything in his absence, it was still his, he could hardly say it but he couldn't stop himself... "Please... please, don't..."

"Alex..." Isaac's feet were getting closer.

Hardly listening to the sounds in his own throat, Alex scrabbled back against the cliff, grabbing another rock and only half realizing he was doing so.

"Alex. Look at me." Isaac told him. Alex complied, meeting his gaze. How could he have thought…? Isaac always had kind eyes. Always.

"Sorry..." Alex realized what he was holding, and dropped it as if burned. His palm was blistered from the heat, though his glove was merely scuffed. He didn't notice, because he knew that the rock hadn't been hot.

"Good. Calm down." Isaac told him.

"Is he... is he... I can't tell anymore… is he all right...?"

"I don't know. Hold on a minute." Isaac went over to talk with Felix. Alex couldn't hear what they were saying. They were looking so blurry... Isaac walked back to Alex, and knelt to talk to him. "He's fine now. Felix is keeping him asleep until we're ready to talk to him, to sort this out somewhere else. Can you stay awake, do you think?"

"You... No. No, I tried to kill him! I... you saw, I want to kill you, I really wish I could, and...! You... you can't keep...!"

"Helping you?" Isaac asked.

"Uh... maybe?" Alex didn't know whether he'd meant that or not...

"I know you didn't want this to happen! Sure, for a moment, I was worried... But you've made it pretty clear you hadn't meant for this to happen. You called us over, Alex, and if that had been to assassinate me, I think _you_ would have managed something a little better than throwing a stone and freaking out. I'm not going to abandon you just yet."

"Oh. Sure, then... You're here, and... if you say... but, it couldn't... ever... you know... it thought it was working, what I was... being... but it doesn't, I need... would you... did you?"

"Sure. It's okay now. You can trust us."

"What... r-right now... What?"

"Right now? Just rest, you look exhausted." Isaac sighed. Alex had fallen asleep almost before he finished speaking, sprawling sideways across the rubble. If he'd been dealing with anyone else, Isaac would have been worrying about concussion, but Alex had so far seemed to function by a totally different set of rules.

"_He_ looks tired of this?" Felix still sounded furious. "Next time you want a pet psychopath, I'm going to have to vote _no_!"

"Felix! You saw how scared he was!" Isaac stood up.

"I know, I know! I'm just saying, if we knew what we were getting into from the start… Well, yeah, I'd still have saved him. But all this…" Felix looked back down at Saul.

"Yeah, I shouldn't have let him go off on his own. He was too messed up, it was so obvious, and I told him to go…" Isaac couldn't believe he'd been so stupid.

"Hey, no! We were both there, and this… And you were right, he asked us to help, he was trying, and they're both safe now…" Felix wished he'd been more careful what he said. Now Isaac was blaming himself… Maybe he had a point, but Isaac was going to feel way too bad, for way too long.

"Yeah..." Isaac looked around. "We'd better get them out of here."

"We should probably take them somewhere calming…" Felix contributed.

"Then the best place is probably Mercury Lighthouse." Isaac decided. "Let's go sort this out…"


	6. Mirage

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"I am just going to pray for you at St. Paul's, but with no very lively hope of success."_  
Sydney Smith (1771-1845)_

Chapter Six: Mirage.

Felix glanced around the base of the cliff. Nothing left to do here. Better get going.

"I'll take Saul, then." Felix decided. In a way, it reminded him of all the time he'd spent in Lalivero in the past, of all the nights he and Isaac had gone out drinking with Saul and the others and ended up having to carry someone home. Felix had always been able to drink twice as much as the others without getting nearly as drunk - Isaac only ever drank half as much as the rest of them anyway. Some of the effects of strong Alchemy were rather fun. Of course, some were disastrous. Felix looked back at Isaac, who was once again kneeling by Alex.

"You know, Felix, I think he's really hurt." Isaac told him. "The way he was moving, he didn't look injured, but now he's... This is his own blood."

"So there's more to it than we saw." Felix answered. "Won't know what until we get out of here."

"Yeah, but... I wonder..." Isaac held out his hands, trying his healing Alchemy again. This time it worked. By the time the greens and browns faded from his skin, Alex was as fully healed as Saul.

"So something's changed." Felix acknowledged.

"He really does trust us now. It took something like this..."

"You, maybe."

"You too!" Isaac insisted, picking Alex up. "Are we flying the whole way? We shouldn't be seen like this in town, around the teleport pads."

"We shouldn't be seen at all." Felix agreed with Isaac there. As for the part he disagreed with - it could wait.

The two of them flew off, heading north. The four of them were almost visible, one of many patches of air wavering in the sunlight above the cliffs.

* * *

Mia sighed, leaning against the wall with a cup of coffee in her hands. She should probably get downstairs again soon, help finish installing the new pressure tanks. Well, nobody begrudged her this break, and the quiet of the corridor was really quite a relief. She might just stay here a while longer. Soak up the feeling of Mercury that seeped from the stones here - from the very air! It was strange to think that she'd been a bit scared of it as a child - of the slight power the building had held even before it was lit. Once you got that it was only water, endless water, you could sit and sink into the feeling for hours... Still, it could get a bit boring. The tranquillity made it strangely hard to notice, but hanging around here for too long, for weeks on end, would eventually make her feel like she was going stale. It was nice to visit Mars Lighthouse, times like that. The heat there gave her so much energy, she'd laugh and jump and feel like bouncing off the ceiling... Though that would probably hurt if she really tried it.

Sipping the coffee, Mia wondered how Isaac and Felix were doing. She was glad she didn't have to deal with _that _with them, but still... It didn't feel quite right, lounging around here while other people dealt with her problems. No, this wasn't her problem anymore. She had to stop thinking like that. It never did any good. She gave the world plenty of help whenever she could. Everyone else said so too. She'd finish her drink and -

A clattering from the stairs drew her attention. Isaac and Felix came striding down the corridor, carrying... Mia almost dropped her coffee.

"Mia, good, we heard you'd be around here." Isaac greeted her. "Would you mind watching Alex for a minute? Sorry to ask this, but we've got to talk to Saul first and I'd really rather have Felix with me for that. It's just not fair to keep him asleep too long, he's the one who got caught up in this when it's not - "

"Wait. What happened?" Mia interrupted. This was odd, Isaac speaking too fast!

"We..." Isaac hesitated.

"Let _him _go off on his own. He ended up trying to kill _him_." Felix filled in.

"What? Why?" Mia gasped.

"We didn't think he'd... Oh, you mean why he tried... Sorry." Isaac sighed. "That, we don't know."

"So he just..." Mia drew back. "You want me to _watch _him? Shouldn't he be... What exactly are you planning on doing with him now?"

"He's sorry." Isaac replied.

"What?" Mia blinked.

"He's really sorry now. It looks like they might have got into a fight or something. I don't think he meant to..." Isaac stopped and began again. "Look, you don't have to do this, we can go find one of the others or split up. We just shouldn't leave this to anyone who's not a Governor, that's what King Hydros asked of us and we can't mess up again. See you - "

"No, wait! He's sorry?" Mia asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Look, you really don't have to help." Isaac maintained.

"No, it's fine. Really." Mia insisted.

"You sure?" Felix asked. "You did seem upset earlier. We don't know what's going on. The others are finishing _their _work before they get involved."

Mia couldn't quite tell whether he was trying to encourage or discourage her.

"I'm fine. Now come on, the third floor staff room should be free." Mia decided, turning and leading the way down the corridor. Isaac shrugged and followed. Felix grinned and followed after him.

* * *

After leaving Alex with Mia and finding another spare room as far away from the first as possible, Felix and Isaac were left with nothing to do but sit and wait. They'd set Saul down on a sofa and decided to let him wake in his own time. Anything else would be just as intrusive as keeping him asleep too long.

"She had a point." Felix suddenly commented, interrupting Isaac's thoughts. "What would we do if he wasn't sorry? Or if that wasn't enough?"

"After what he's been through already?" Isaac sighed, looking away from Saul. "I don't think I could do anything more to him. It didn't look like we'd have to."

"But if we did have to, you could." Felix stated, perfectly certain.

Isaac glanced at him, sort of surprised. But only sort of. Felix was probably right. That had been his strength, back then. The foundation of everything they'd been trusted with now. Being able to do what he had to do. Being able to hurt people. Only if he _thought _he had to.

"You've always done what's best for others. You know that." Felix continued, seeing the look on his friend's face.

"I know." Isaac replied. Really, Felix was right again. He knew this, he'd always known this... And it never seemed quite like the way his friends knew it. But it should. And Felix was here, reminding him that they'd all done alright in the end. They were doing alright now. The world hadn't just forgiven him, it had put him in charge. He sometimes wondered if the world knew something he didn't. Couldn't seriously think that now though. Felix was here, and right. That was always a help.

"Good." Felix eventually replied, watching Isaac's face carefully. "We'll help, like Sheba said. Whatever sort of help is best."

"Whatever sort..." Isaac looked at Saul, remembering the group's conversation earlier. What counted as help. "Yes. We will."

"Good." Felix insisted. "You've always been strong - that's always been good!"

"And you're always here to say so. Been looking out for us all since before we knew that was what you were doing. Hard to believe it's already been fifty years, isn't it?" Isaac turned to Felix, and found himself smiling. "How often do any of us tell you how strong you are?"

"I think it goes without saying." Felix replied, rather amused.

"Yeah... How long has it been since you've been wrong about anything?" Isaac laughed, forgetting the situation for a moment.

"Last Thursday." Felix replied unhesitatingly. "I thought I'd left my spare boots at the inn, in Altin. Then I remembered I'd lent them to - "

"Sometimes you can sound an awful lot like Garet." Isaac smirked.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." Felix decided.

"Yeah, it was. Mostly."

"And I think Saul's waking up." Felix told him, slightly reluctantly, knowing the sober, worried expression Isaac would once again assume. Isaac was strong, but he never bothered wonder how strong he was. He only ever considered how strong he had to be. There wasn't much difference, but still, it did get worrying sometimes.

After a few moments, Saul did indeed start to shift in his sleep, start to wake up. Frowning suddenly, he brought one hand to his head, seeming slightly puzzled to find that nothing was wrong.

"Are you alright?" Isaac asked, concerned as ever.

"He knocked me out, didn't he?" Saul muttered, opening his eyes. He sat up and turned to Isaac and Felix with a strange expression. "You actually came. How did you know?"

"Alex called us over. It sounded like things were getting out of hand, whatever was going on." Isaac told him.

"What are you talking about?" Saul asked incredulously. "He didn't - "

"Yes he did." Felix interrupted. "So care to tell us why he was trying to kill you by the time we arrived?"

"_Kill_? I thought I'd won. I thought he couldn't really be that big a deal now. He was just sitting up, nowhere near me, and then - I shouldn't have thought that was it. Not with that one. But... he was just kneeling on the ground, nowhere near me! Now you're telling me he was trying to kill me? I would never have known. Never woken up. I... I should have known. Something that evil, I shouldn't have thought I'd actually defeated it." As he watched Saul's expression change, Isaac felt his hopes sink. Except...

"What do you mean, you thought you'd defeated him? What happened?" Isaac asked.

"What I said. I managed to get in the first attack, and I didn't let it mess with my head, and then - then I was dying, apparently." Saul summarized, still having a little trouble taking it in.

"Saul." Felix leaned forward. "Does that, by any chance, translate into 'I attacked without listening to him'?"

"No! It talked a lot. Asking about..." Saul paled. "It knows where I live!"

"But surely... What was he playing at? You couldn't hurt him." Isaac didn't get how this could have happened. "I know how hard you've trained, but you couldn't - why was he injured?"

"Playing dead again?" Felix wondered, frowning. That didn't sound likely. Why get involved at all?

"Excuse me? I _have _trained hard. I caught it off guard with the rocks, at least! Though I had expected it to counter a bit better... Oh. It did, didn't it?" Saul remembered.

"Rock?" Isaac sighed. "I guess that might explain it. Listen, you have to understand what happened to Alex. He's not out to get anyone. Not you, at least. But he's been through a lot since the Lighting. For - "

"Oh Gods..." Saul sounded horrified. "Are you trying to make me feel sorry for it?"

"N - Yes! You have to be fair - " Isaac started.

"So next time it tries to murder me, I can smile and be sympathetic? Offer to kill all my friends for it first, save it a bit of work?"

"That's ridiculous. If you'd just listen to - " Isaac tried again.

"Some horror story of yours?" Saul sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Look, I know fifty years is plenty of time for a lost soul to go through many unimaginable trials - if that one even has a soul - and maybe I would end up feeling sorry for it. But that would be wrong. It wouldn't be safe. If that thing has changed, it clearly hasn't changed enough."

"He _has _changed. More than - " Isaac started even if he didn't have much hope of finishing.

"Didn't you listen to a _word _- " Saul began only for Felix to interrupt.

"You had better start listening to us." Felix warned. This was too serious to permit an attitude like that.

"I've heard enough, thanks." Saul replied, standing and heading for the door. Felix blocked his way.

"You haven't." Felix answered simply. Saul had to fight off the urge to go sit down again.

"What is this? Are the Governors now not only freeing criminals, but imprisoning victims?" Saul snapped. "I'm leaving. Get out of the way."

"Saul! There's no need for that!" Isaac called out. Felix glanced doubtfully at Isaac, but sighed and moved away from the door. "We can't keep you here," Isaac continued, "but please, don't _do _anything. This won't happen again. Leave it to us to see that Alex won't be a problem. Please trust us a while longer."

"Trust you?" Saul paused in the doorway. "You've certainly done enough to warrant that. Weyard owes its Governors. I've never known either of you to loose your senses before now. But believe me, I won't be keeping this a secret!"

Isaac sat and gazed at the door as Saul's footsteps faded. Felix returned to his seat.

"Well." Isaac eventually sighed. "That could have gone worse."

"He almost listened."

"That's the easy one done..."

"It sounds like Alex isn't entirely in control of himself yet." Felix remarked. Isaac nodded in agreement. "So what are we going to do?"

"Talk to him. Check." Isaac replied.

"To help?" Felix reminded him.

"..." Isaac nodded again. Felix waited. Isaac eventually replied: "Something."

"As in?" Felix asked.

Isaac sighed. This might take a while.


	7. Wreck

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"Oh! When I have the gout, I feel as if I was walking on my eyeballs." _  
Sydney Smith (1771-1845)_

Chapter Seven: Wreck.

Sitting in the third floor staff room, her drink sitting forgotten on the floor, Mia was starting to regret her decision. Alex was lying on a sofa on the other side of the windowless room, showing no sign of waking up. Mia started picking at the fabric of her armchair. She didn't even want him to wake up, not really. This was stupid! How could he truly regret his actions now when he hadn't earlier? On the quest, she'd seen so little of him, she'd never had a chance to stop him and make him explain himself, and hearing how he'd ended from the Wise One just hadn't... She'd believed it, of course, but it had always seemed like there might possibly, surely, have been some other explanation for his behaviour. Kidnapping people, trying to destroy a village - those glimpses of him didn't fit the kid she'd known for fifteen years, the friend she'd seen pretty much every day and known better than anyone else had, even if she couldn't honestly say she'd known him as well as she'd known everyone else - but that villain really was him! There was no denying it now, that side of him was the real one, they'd rescued him and that was how he acted and he wasn't even trying. He was just messed up. Must have been for a long time. She'd known an act. A false child. This person across the room was nobody she knew after all. And to think, she actually used to think he looked up to her!

Mia heard a ripping sound. She looked down. She'd torn the fabric from the chair's arms. She stood up, dropping the cloth on the floor and pacing to and fro along her side of the room. She glanced at him, and found herself laughing. He looked so young, lying there asleep with his wings crumpled beneath him, a funny colour against his hair. (He must have borrowed Isaac's spare set...) He looked so innocent... He'd just tried to kill... She made herself stop pacing, made herself stop laughing before the harsh noise hurt her throat. She sat down again. He shouldn't be freaking her out now - he wasn't even doing anything, he was unconscious! She was a Governor, watching over... this evil youth. Except he wasn't either. Unless he was. She sat and waited, staring at the wall.

Alex started to stir, and Mia couldn't help feeling relieved.

Lying there with his eyes closed, Alex frowned. Where, who...? That dream... It didn't want to fade. It was unsettling. Especially as this felt like Mercury Lighthouse. Still, that might be real. He lifted his hand, felt the back of his head. Nothing - but there had been a fight, he was sure of that now. And his shield... That part of his mind had stopped working. His own mind had dropped the shield that it had always maintained so effortlessly before... He'd let a rock hit him. He'd give anything for that to be a dream, but no, he'd let a rock hit him! What was wrong with him? Then Isaac... Alex's eyes shot open. He'd said - what was he thinking? Fragments stuck to the back of his eyes, anger and dread. Black fire turning his stomach. The '_Wise One_' hadn't been there, had it? He couldn't focus on every part at once - the thoughts behind the movements, and those behind the words. Isaac's eyes were as blue as the rock's, but besides the colour they were the antithesis. It couldn't have gotten confused. It had still been humiliating. He was alive, at least.

"You said..." Alex started to say as he turned his head, before he saw who else was in the room. Just Mia this time. He scrambled into a sitting position, glancing around again even though he knew there was no point, not knowing how alarmed he looked. She'd wrong-footed him without doing anything -_by_ not doing anything.

"Mmm?" Mia was sounding rather unsettled too. Not that Alex noticed, just then.

"Where is Isaac?" Alex demanded, feeling nauseatingly afraid all of a sudden - and immediately feeling incredibly foolish, too. Why did he have to ask _that_?

"He's with Felix, seeing to something else for a minute." Mia answered, frowning. Now Alex was acting different again! What was wrong with him? It wasn't like this was 'sorry' either! He was acting like a victim - and of course he was one, they'd just rescued him! But he'd just -

"Why... Ah, what..." Alex couldn't think what to ask. What was she doing here? Obvious. Where were the others? Not here. He couldn't believe it. They'd left, when he'd admitted... Did they honestly think his words that cheap? Did they think he'd ask for help whenever it was convenient for _them_? If he knew his own mind, if he knew his own Alchemy, if he had other allies, and if he knew the world around him, he would have left then and there... Ugh. Pathetic. Were they trying to rub his nose in it, making him wait? How insulting were they trying to -

"Mmm?" Mia prompted him, when he didn't finish his question.

"Nothing." How true was that going to turn out? Up here after all this time, would he obtain - would he _become_ - everything or nothing?

"I expected you to have a little more to say." Mia sounded quite bitter. Alex glanced at her, wondering why.

"As in?" Alex asked, after a pause.

"I'd been told I might expect an apology." Mia answered, still sounding slightly annoyed. She shouldn't keep letting this bother her.

"From me?" Alex tried not to laugh. Wouldn't it make more sense for the world to apologize to him?

"Clearly not." Mia tried not to sound angry at either of them.

Alex could see she was serious. He probably shouldn't be insulting one of his attendants like this. It couldn't do much good. But he wasn't sure what she was after; he knew she wouldn't appreciate a blatant lie. He might as well see what he could offer her sincerely. This conversation wasn't much of a distraction, or even much of a conversation, but it was still something.

"Maybe I've wrecked a lot," Alex started, trying out the words, "though I generally ruined things for myself more than anyone else, generally to avoid losing something far better..." He trailed off. It wouldn't do to think too hard.

Mia stared at him; that was an awful apology, but it did sound real. Her friend Alex used to be far better at apologies, but they had all been false. Honestly, this one probably was too. Quite an act, taking into account what she obviously thought of him. He hadn't seemed capable of that earlier today, or even earlier this minute!

As she stared at him, Alex looked away. He didn't know what reaction he'd expected, but for her to just sit there looking all prim and grim... It wasn't making this wait any easier. Alex briefly wondered whether he should use his Alchemy to try to locate the others. Underground, with the smallest manageable fraction of his power available, he'd been able to sense every detail for half a mile around; if he tried now, he'd probably be able to sense for miles and miles and miles... He couldn't cope with that. Dealing with his senses was getting a little easier, if only because the clamour from outside his mind wasn't as unfamiliar now as the problems within, but even the idea of all the buildings and people and plants and animals and air and earth in the Imil area in his head as well - it was too much! Far too much to think about. And to think, he wanted to know the whole universe at once. When he really thought about it now, that idea was beyond overwhelming... It didn't mean he shouldn't own infinity, of course. He would just have to be very careful not to use too much before he was truly capable of it, when the time came.

Looking around, Alex decided that this room of Mercury Lighthouse looked very odd this way, with the walls painted over and the floor filled with cupboards, armchairs and little low tables. Some of the designs were sort of strange, but of course most aspects of life would have changed in all this time, much more so than in the few years he'd lived up here... On second thought, he didn't want to think about that either.

Glancing again at Mia, Alex saw she still wasn't looking very happy. He'd already noticed how the feeling of Mercury here had grown. In a strange way, it was quite an accomplishment for two people to feel thoroughly unnerved in a place that so dampened the emotions of its every occupant.

Mia hadn't been able to decide whether or not she really wanted to question Alex any further. If he made things worse... that hardly seemed possible, but it was probably all she could expect. If she wasted this chance to talk to him, though, she would leave still wondering what exactly was going on with him. If he was going to make a vague apology like that, she could at least try and find out what it covered.

"You said 'generally'. Not 'exclusively'. So do you regret acting against those around you?" Mia finally spoke.

"Why are you asking me this?" Alex replied, frowning. He didn't need her prying.

"I want to know if you're alright. I want to know if I can help." Mia replied, as softly as if she were talking to a sick patient. Which must make him sick in the head, Alex decided. Now whatever he said, she would cast it in a condescending light in an effort to assuage her own guilt. Did she really think he would play along with _that_?

"Still trying to judge me against my will? Have it your way. I'm not alright, and sadly, you cannot help. I am solely to blame for my wilful mistakes. There was never anything you could have done. I'll never learn. You may lose faith in me if you wish. Why throw more effort after a lost cause? The picture you paint for your own peace of mind cannot possibly affect the way the rest of society treats me... Honestly, you can be quite merciless, Mia. I always thought so. Yet somehow I doubt you murdered Saturos and Menardi purely with emotional blackmail."

"Be like that, then." Mia shrugged, a little taken aback despite how little she'd expected of him. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Can you honestly say anyone has suffered more than me?"

"That's not what I asked. Do you regret anything you did hoping to make anyone else suffer?"

"Did you have something in particular in mind?" Alex asked suspiciously. He kept hearing that the rock had shown these people its memories, but they couldn't know... If they'd seen everything, they'd never have saved him.

"Anything in particular?" Mia tried not to start laughing again. Alex had sometimes been a bit annoying, before, but he'd always seemed to heed her when she warned that he was hurting other people's feelings. Which was worrying in its own way. "You were brought here after trying to kill a man, and you wonder if there's anything specific I might be talking about? Saul of Lalivero. Surely you remember!"

"Oh. Of course." Alex muttered. "It's only here on the surface that you get slime like that around the rocks, isn't it?"

"You can't be serious..."

"Ah. That wasn't what you wanted to hear, was it?" Alex realized.

"No." Mia sighed. This was hopeless. "No. It wasn't."

"No..." Alex sighed, more disheartened than he'd have admitted. How was he ever going to create the right impression if he kept letting slip how he really felt? "It is not as if I _want_ to want to kill him..."

"You still want to kill him?" Mia asked sharply. How could Isaac have thought Alex was sorry?

"Don't look like that! It would be pointless, I know!" Alex protested. It would be satisfying, but pointless. "Just because I - Isaac knows, and he's still -"

"And I'm seriously wondering why!" Mia snapped.

"Know what? Me too." Alex told her, getting sick of this. Getting sick of her. "You don't need to act this way. I get it. You hate me. Whatever the reason, you're glad to see me brought down, aren't you? The things you say... And you know what I've been through already. At least the slime didn't know what it was doing."

"I don't hate you. I only want to see you recover." Mia insisted. This was annoying. She was supposed to be staying calm. They never used to argue this way. Maybe they should have done; it might have given them practice. "I do know what you've been through, and I'm here for you. We all are."

"Changed your mind, then?" Alex laughed. If she was going to play sane, he had a better hand. "But you're going to keep on saying all those hurtful things, aren't you, Mia? Not so benevolent really, are you? Saul of Lalivero had no idea what he was doing. I'd seen to that before I could foresee the consequences. But you were there in Imil, weren't you? And you saw for yourself where I ended up. You found me there. For you to wish me more suffering now... Why don't you explain to me how you could be so tremendously cruel?"

"I don't want to see you suffer any further!" Mia protested, finding it hard to stay distanced. "That's why I'm asking-"

"You really don't think you're being cruel, do you? I suppose you think you're above that sort of thing. You simply don't understand how inappropriate your behaviour is." Alex wanted to call her bluff. She couldn't keep sniping at him if she couldn't pretend it was harmless. "Of course you don't understand. Your life between then and now - how could you comprehend it? How many sleepless hours there are in half a century. How much pain. And these first few minutes I am not there, you seem to think I still deserve it. Everything you say to the contrary - it's a fragile mask, and every time it cracks you tell me that it is my fault and that my eyes deceive me, as if both could be true. You claim that Isaac's generosity is misplaced. If you can't imagine how he could stand by me, how can you claim to be doing the same? I need a reprieve, Mia, far more than you need to vent. If you would only..."

"Believe me, I understand the situation! As far as anyone can, at least." Mia stood up to draw his attention. Alex looked at her and shook his head, bemused and vaguely horrified that she would still resort to flat-out contradiction.

"It doesn't show, does it? I healed myself every time. I look exactly the same as before." Alex glanced down, taking in his spotless clothes. Healed again. "If I looked... even bruised, things would be different, wouldn't they? Your bedside manner is better than this..."

"I know what happened, Alex. I can't do anything about it. I'm more concerned about what happens next. You ought to give that some thought, too, if you think you can keep going this way." Mia started to walk over, recognising that he had a point; her bedside manner didn't usually involve passive-aggressive arguments across the length of the room.

Alex stood sharply, raising his hand and casting a wall-to-wall barrier to block her way.

"Don't you dare come any -" Alex started, glaring at her through the invisible Alchemy between them; he broke off, looking away for a few seconds, trying not to feel or sound so alarmed. When he looked back and saw the surprise on her face, he shook his head, doubting his ability to communicate anything to her. What did she _hear_ when he spoke? Who did she think she was dealing with?

"Fine!" Mia stepped back from the barrier. "Just listen. I know - "

"No, you don't! You have no idea."

"Fine! It's hard to appreciate properly. I know - "

"You know? You _know_? Who do you know? From the sound of him, I hate him already!"

"I know where you went wrong, for one thing! Do you think you'd have fallen through the cracks if you'd paid me any heed? The Wise One knew what it was doing! If you want our protection then you had better start living decently, the way we both know you ought to, while you still have the chance, and hate yourself for it if you must!"

Alex's expression went blank sometime around "_knew what it was doing_". Mia wondered whether she'd finally gotten through to him. When she laid a hand on the barrier, a questioning gesture, he turned and headed for the farthest corner, leaning against the wall as if waiting in an empty room. An empty room with fascinatingly whitewashed walls.

Mia went to pick up her coffee and warm it back into a palatable state. If he wasn't going to apologize, _she_ certainly wasn't going to. She'd only told him to grow a survival instinct and a conscience; the two were indistinguishable, a lot of the time. Still, she had gotten the last word. She tried a peace offering. "Would you like some - "

"Get out."

He sounded exhausted, his voice strained by the effort of keeping it half as flat as normal. She used to deal with the worst of his moods by deflecting him away from those he might take it out on until he left to hole up and sulk by himself. Even if he hadn't tried to warn her now against any false sense of familiarity, she'd have suspected her tactics needed a little revision, but it was hard to think where to start.

"It's an Attekan blend. You'd like it."

"..."

"You know, coffee doesn't grow anywhere where there's a winter frost. It does best at high elevations." She didn't really know why she was rambling. He clearly wasn't going to accept anything from her hand. She sighed, focusing her Alchemy so that she could ask Isaac to hurry up; when she sensed his mind, she found that her friends were already in the corridor outside. "I think that's - "

"Get _out_!"

"... Isaac and Felix at the door." Mia finished, irritated that Alex would interrupt when she'd only been warning him. He didn't move; he could hardly have moved if he'd tried. The door handle twisted one way, then back again.

The barrier that ran through the middle of the room finished against the door, blocking it from opening. On the other side, Isaac was starting to get puzzled when he heard Mia's voice through the wall.

"It's no good, it's - you'll have to teleport in and take a look. I'm not exactly sure what to do about this." Mia admitted.

"Hold on a moment." Felix called back, stepping up to the door. He brushed his fingers past the hinges, melting them away, and leaned the door against the wall to one side.

"I guess that's easier. You're fixing it later?" Mia checked.

"Of course." Felix assured her, edging past the barrier into the room.

"Is Alex okay?" Isaac asked from the doorway.

"I suppose so." Mia answered, walking over to join Felix, who was studying the barrier. Isaac wondered whether having known Alex in the past, like them, would leave him a little less concerned for him now. Probably. Unless they knew something he didn't.

"I see what you mean about this. Don't think I could even dent it!" Felix commented. At that, Alex laughed slightly, though he didn't leave the corner.

"What exactly - " Isaac started, as he followed Felix into the room.

"You'll have to mind read me." Mia interrupted, glancing at Alex too. "I'm not sure if I helped at all..."

"You always help, Mia." Isaac smiled at her, then focused on reading her view of the argument from her memory. He found himself less surprised than he would have hoped, given Saul's side of the story. Clearly he hadn't had that much faith in Alex either. Why couldn't he have a little more hope? Obviously, not too much either...

"Either of you feel like helping now?" Felix asked, not quite as lost in thought.

"Right." Isaac walked up to the barrier too. He wondered if Alex would mind them removing it. "Ah, Alex? We really need to get rid of this at some point, to keep using the room..."

Alex glared at him, having figured that out already.

"Of course. Sorry." Isaac continued, trying not to feel foolish. "And I suppose, now that you've made it, you can't - "

"Destroy... that's... ... "

"You're right, I probably can destroy this." Isaac replied, figuring that was probably what Alex meant.

Placing his hands on the surface, Isaac realized just how much force it would take to break this thing. More than he'd ever had to use before. It would take much less Alchemy to move the door or redo the walls. It'd take less destructive Alchemy to create a new city-sized crater outside Contigo! Was this safe?

"What are you waiting for?" Felix asked. Isaac remembered that Alex had seemed to create this barrier easily enough. So he should be able to match that. He didn't intend to ever use the golden sun's full force, but this shouldn't come close. He nodded to Felix and broke the barrier. It was frighteningly easy. Once it was gone, Alex did look disappointed. He must have minded anyway.

"Uhh... Governor Mia?" A hesitant voice drew the room's attention to the blond youth standing in the doorway.

"Yes? What is it, Damien?" Mia asked, hoping he wasn't too spooked by the way Alex was glaring daggers at him from the corner - presumably for the crime of being there at a time like this.

"Th-they need you downstairs, they're up to eight hundred atmospheres and it might be more than the seal mechanism can take so..." Damien trailed off, shifting uneasily.

"Why don't you try asking Master Keren?" Mia suggested.

"Away at the Soap Makers' Guild talks. They might not strike if the ban on imploding - "

"But I told them to schedule those next week!"

"You did?" Damien glanced around helplessly.

"In that case, try asking at Jupiter Lighthouse. If there's nobody free there, at least they'll know where everyone actually is."

"Oh, well... There's something else..." Damien hesitated, glancing reluctantly at Alex, then trying to ignore him again.

"Yes?" Mia prompted.

"Uhh... By the fountain. People." Damien replied. "Can you...?"

"Fine, fine." Mia sighed. "Let's go down-"

"Might want to go upstairs." Damien interrupted apologetically. "Balcony."

"Ahh... Alright." As Mia swept out of the room after Damien, the others couldn't help but feel a little worried. Or at least, a little more worried than before.

"Saul had better not have done anything stupid." Felix muttered.

"..." Alex wanted to ask. But how should one raise the topic of attempted murder with the compassionate Embodiment of Destruction...?

"We talked to him." Isaac started to explain. "We tried to find out what happened. To the two of you. And we tried to get him to understand the context. He didn't want to listen, but it sounded like he started a fight, and... now it sounds like you hate him for that. Could you explain any more? We still don't know exactly what happened."

"Saul... that..." Alex paused. Ask one thing first, again, even though they'd confirmed it already. It was what they had to hear from him. "Still alive?"

"He's shaken, but otherwise fine." Isaac assured him.

"... Oh." Alex looked relieved and disappointed. His mind felt strangely numb; he couldn't think of anything more to say.

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Isaac asked.

"You know. You saw, you already know!" Alex was slightly surprised to hear his own voice raised. Some part of him seemed to have decided that it was safe to be angry if they weren't. How useless. He had to prove, somehow, that he could live in peace within the law. Wasn't that what they wanted? The Embodiment of Creation as a Lemurian citizen. He couldn't imagine it.

"... No, we really don't know what happened." Isaac reminded him. "What-"

"Where..." Alex caught his breath, vaguely horrified, as he realized he'd interrupted. Isaac waited. It continued. "Is he. Where. Ah, now. The... Laliveran."

"He left a few minutes ago. We warned him not to try anything like this again."

Alex breathed out sharply, turning away. He didn't say anything. He couldn't complain. Hadn't he offered to give up anything in return for their protection? Under that agreement, they had every right to place him beneath the law rather than within it. To set his skin crawling with the things people would say, now that they had broadcast his status to his every enemy... _"Did you see the creature Isaac unearthed? Take as many pot shots as you like; Isaac isn't pressing charges." _

Isaac waited a few seconds, giving him a chance to speak, before breaking the stiff silence. "...And you're not happy about this?"

"After what he did, what he dared - now I have to let him get away with it?" Alex snarled, infuriated by the leading question despite the restraint he was trying to show. Insult to injury. The part of his mind that knew he shouldn't be protesting anything right now didn't seem to be getting a look in. Slower off the mark.

"Get away with it? Do you even understand how close you came to-!" Felix managed to cut short his reprimand. He'd been so shaken to see - and that attitude! Letting his opponents _survive_ meant letting them get away with it? Alex didn't seem to have any idea how immense a favour they were doing him by sweeping this under the carpet. But this wasn't the time; Felix knew that if he truly lost his temper, he'd regret it.

"Saul seems to want you dead, too," Isaac reasoned, while Felix tried to calm down (and while Alex noticed that, once again, when he was aggressive towards Isaac, only Felix showed any sign of anger in return, making him wonder how each of them would behave on their own). Isaac knew how blinding anger could be, and he expected them to feel differently once they'd had a chance to cool off. As he continued, hoping to remind Felix that they weren't dealing with anything new, his next words caught Alex off guard. "So I wouldn't say it's all that awful for you to feel the same way right now."

"Th-that slime is nothing like - I wouldn't simply wish him dead! That wouldn't rule out an easy death!"

How could Isaac suggest that he was anything like the monsters who had beaten him down and left him to his fate with such terrifying indifference? He felt now as he had never felt before, and _his_ wishes involved extracting full retribution and finishing the job; _he_ was actually angry; _he_ was the better man, at least insofar as he could still be called a man, bearing in mind that he was every bit as much a god as Isaac, even though it hadn't yet done him much good. And this wasn't doing him much good either, was it? He couldn't change their opinions by showing them how to hit a raw nerve. Wasn't that exactly what they were trying to do? There was a reason they were rebuking him; hadn't he assumed when they'd first arrived on the scene that his mistake was about to cost him everything?

Alex knew he shouldn't be having a go at them, on top of everything else. He could only hide in plain sight. Put it to them in a way that would engender their further aid, not endanger his life. He couldn't rely on himself anymore. Half-closing his eyes, he focused on the pressure of the wall along his shoulder and arm, trying not to let any sort of feeling become overwhelming again. He wasn't shaking. He was sure he wasn't shaking.

"Things weren't that bad when you contacted us, were they?" Isaac's voice was getting pitying again. It was sickening. Except, it shouldn't be. "What went wrong?"

"Cracks in the universe." Alex wondered how it was that the air was still moving. He wouldn't be breathing, but for the need to speak. "They will only widen. The edges will not meet. It was meant to be a contiguous whole, but it will never be truly aware. Setting back the decay will not secure your world unless you can control war. That would be your domain, for as long as you possess it. Why do you delegate it to Felix? However well you may communicate, you cannot pretend he truly knows your will. For as long as it is a part of you, it ought to be a part of _you_. What can he possibly mean to you...?"

The Venus Alchemists exchanged a look, and Alex realized with some dismay that he had ended up sounding resentful again.

"Could you tell us what literally happened between the point at which Saul attacked you and the point at which we arrived?" Isaac asked carefully.

Alex tried to keep it as simple as possible this time. "Fire. Irritating; distracting." He held up his palm and lit up a small dome above it. "Barrier. He sealed off a large area, and he stayed within it as well, but he could have chosen otherwise. On either point. Most people have that skill, with Alchemy, don't they? Barriers. On some scale."

Isaac nodded, confirming this reluctantly. "People have all sorts of Alchemy. They also have restraint. Most people don't attack others just because they can. None of us would be safe, if that were so."

"Is it possible to create barriers that block telepathy between those on either side?"

"...Only the strongest of Jupiter Alchemists are capable of that. You don't have to worry about it. We won't let anything like this happen again."

"How many? Alchemists. Have that power."

"That's not exactly the sort of figure I could guess at on the spot..."

Double digits, then, Alex figured. And even if it weren't blocked, telepathy would do him no good once he lost the goodwill of the people outside. It was bound to happen, sooner or later. "So. This is why that rock hasn't appeared to finish me off. It left me crippled enough..."

"We'll stay close at hand from now on." Isaac tried to reassure him. "You can trust us to keep control."

Clenching his jaw as anger flared up in his gut, Alex managed to keep from yelling at them again - from telling them that he didn't want them in control, that it almost felt as though the 'Wise One' had handed him over to them, that he couldn't leave or fight or keep this up or trust _himself_. It had been a long time since he'd last bothered to hold back from screaming. There were so many adjustments to make, today. As soon as he was able to speak, he asked the others something that might better motivate them to help him.

"What s-sort of a life do you think I can live now that practically every man, woman and child on Weyard is capable of trapping and torturing me? So you will stand guard - for how long are you willing to accompany me? For how many centuries will you take shifts?"

"Things won't be this volatile forever." Isaac wasn't overly surprised to hear Alex being paranoid. And if Saul had provoked him so far that he'd call it torture, then that was probably all they needed to know about the fight. He couldn't have been acting rationally. "It might take a few months, or a few years, but people will come to accept that you're here and it's not the end of the world. In any case, we're yours for as long as you have need of us."

Alex's heart lurched at that last part, though he knew it was all exaggeration and posturing. Maybe Isaac's efforts would be enough, for a while; they had to be doing this at least slightly for his sake. It would be so easy to believe that there was something behind Isaac's confidence, that his gentle tone wouldn't continue to belie his actions...

Honestly. He only had to keep going, one way or another, until he found a way to take the rest of the golden sun. Once it was complete within him, then he would be free. Safe. Eternal. Once he was complete, he would be able to animate the universe around himself however he chose. Isaac only needed to die once to make it possible. After that, he would be able to put Isaac and the others through as many lives and deaths as he pleased. There was nothing to grieve.

There was never anything to grieve.

But if he fell before he reached completion, if everything he had endured were to have been for nothing...

"Was this what you wanted to talk to us about, when you woke up?" Isaac checked.

Alex laughed, sounding amused in a choked-up, despairing way. "Sure it was."

Isaac wasn't sure what to make of that. "What else...?"

When Alex simply rolled his eyes, Isaac figured he wouldn't get much further down that avenue of conversation. Still, he didn't want to change the subject entirely, because he wasn't entirely sure how to proceed after that. The suggestion that Felix had made earlier, before they had finally returned here, still looked like a serious option, but Isaac was still reluctant to use it. If they gave Alex a little while longer to get it together, the situation might look different.

"Okay. Nevermind." Isaac glanced around, looking for somewhere to sit down. Ruling out most of the furniture - he couldn't stand soft chairs - he sighed and slid a coffee table over to the wall with his foot, perching there instead. Leaning with your back to the wall was awkward when you had wings on. "Anyway... I'm sorry we took a while to get back here." Small talk was awkward, too, when you were trying to coax out sanity. "Uh. Did you sleep well?"

Alex gave him a strange look, then sighed and gave him an answer. "I dreamed of living death."

Isaac wished he'd thought that question through. Where was his tact when he needed it? "...Oh. Of course, sorry I..."

"Not _that _sort!" Alex hadn't been talking about Mt. Aleph, though he realized that must have been their default assumption.

"What sort do you mean, then?"

"...Know what? Guess." This was getting annoying. Alex thought it was about time they stopped prodding him for behavioural clues and gave him some information in return. He didn't realize quite how angry he sounded, as he was asking it. "What was it, Isaac? If you're so... You can tell me that, too, can't you? Go ahead. Take your time. There's no rush, where I'm involved, is there? Take your time."

Isaac got the impression that he'd better give the answer some serious thought. He couldn't think of anything. Closing his eyes in search of inspiration, he ran his senses along the walls of the room, trying to find the underlying rockiness in this tower of water. The Venus inherent in the stone was always there, but so drowned out, it always felt like the walls should have been worn away long ago by the constant flow. Turned to sand and dust. Perhaps the longevity conferred by Mercury was all that kept the place standing.

"I give up." Isaac eventually sighed. "This is beyond me. Alex, what you've been through already - I honestly can't imagine going through that myself and still being in one piece at the end. I can't even think what else... whatever else you might dread, I can't guess at it."

Felix frowned, glancing at Isaac without moving to sit with him. He wouldn't have wanted to say what Isaac had just said. More than that, he wouldn't have wanted Isaac to say it. Maybe it helped, for now, but it wasn't a good sign.

Alex spent a few seconds gazing at Isaac as though trying to decide whether or not to believe what he was hearing - then started laughing, to their surprise.

"You... How do you do that?"

"Do - "

"- what?" Alex finished for Isaac, grinning at the predictability. "Don't say it."

"Okay...?"

"...Remind me that it is not your fault, without insulting me for forgetting that." Alex explained, realizing that it would be advantageous to admit this to them. "Now, are you curious? It wasn't exactly what _you_ would call a living death."

"Really?" Isaac asked, quite keen to be let in on the joke.

"Nothing in that dream would ever drive you to suicide, Isaac. Not unless you're possessed of some strange fear of... of snow, or cake, or..."

"Cake?" Isaac echoed, wondering for a moment if that somehow was a phobia of Alex's.

"A gift to us from Mia, for the grandchildren."

"Whose grandchildren?" Isaac asked, having trouble figuring out who exactly they were supposed to be talking about.

"Mine, and not mine. Each of them."

"Thanks for clarifying that..."

"They looked like me. Except none were of... none had blue hair. They were playing around their parents and their grandmother, my... uh, in the dream... you know, married thing. Just a human." Alex looked rather disgusted at that.

"This was in Imil?" Isaac checked.

"No, Prox." Alex replied sarcastically. Isaac looked slightly confused. Alex sighed; perhaps nonsense was somewhat expected of him now. "Of course it was in Imil."

"A dream of what could have been?" Felix asked, looking thoughtful.

"Dream, vision. Something like that." Alex wouldn't be surprised if there were enough Jupiter in him to allow visions of alternate choices - though this one could no longer be a possible future. "If I hadn't left - or even before any of... Where I'd be by now, at least. I - he - looked terrible. I've healed from worse states, of course, but that one - he considered himself healthy. And technically, physically, he was. It wouldn't have been disturbing if it had been a stranger."

While Isaac did get what he was saying - that it was chilling to see yourself as someone you didn't recognise, as someone you'd never wanted to become - he didn't think it was necessarily coupled to age. He'd gotten that feeling from his own reflection, sometimes. It didn't happen so much, these days. "Well, you know... old age is nothing to fear..."

"The way they looked at him..." Alex shook his head, wanting nothing more at that moment than to negate that flippant response. "The way he looked at _them_..."

"But they were all family, weren't they?" Isaac asked, surprised to hear that there had been any hostility in that cosy-sounding scene.

"Exactly. They loved it."

Alex sounded rather indignant about that. Felix couldn't help but laugh, though he tried to knock it off when Alex glared at him. It wasn't fair, he supposed, considering how little he'd really lived compared to the two of them.

"It was that feeling, huh? Surrounded by loved ones, happy to spend all the time you have left with them, knowing your life was everything it was meant to be..." Isaac smiled, thinking back. In a conversation like this, any chance for a pleasant diversion came as an inordinate relief. "I remember, growing up in Vale, the world used to be so small, ending at the village gates. Playing by the river, seeing our parents watch and smile, we knew everyone around us felt that way."

"Unless that's nostalgia." Felix added.

"It might be." Isaac admitted.

"Something like that." Alex still sounded ruffled. "If he loved his family, I can't remember it well enough to empathise. It wasn't me."

"Doesn't it matter that it could have been?" Isaac asked, while Felix held back from making any sort of comment on the subject of empathy.

"It couldn't have been. Not _me_." Alex wished Isaac weren't so slow to get it. "If I weren't me, it hardly matters whether some stranger could have been happy."

"I guess it doesn't." Isaac figured he ought to acknowledge that, though he couldn't see it the same way.

"It wouldn't have been in anyone else's best interests, either. Nobody in the village knew, but Mars Lighthouse would have fallen by then. By now. Sitting in a cosy cottage, glancing at the window, that... person... thought Mercury Lighthouse marred the landscape. Such coldness, a looming reminder of some nameless danger from ages long past. He drew the curtains, stoked the fire, sat with his family and smiled. And all the while, the world fell away, soon to be lost forever."

"That wasn't why you left." Felix knew Alex would know what he meant. If saving the world had been his highest priority, Alex would have come with them to Mars Lighthouse. If the fate of future generations had truly mattered to him, then he would have lent them his strength the whole way, matching their efforts to ensure Weyard's survival. Instead, he had chosen to gamble on the outcome. Felix was prepared to forgive him, but that didn't mean letting him equivocate. All things considered, Alex didn't have nearly as many bragging rights as those who'd stayed home all along.

"No, it wasn't." Alex answered, meeting Felix's gaze. When neither moved for a long while, Isaac decided he'd better interrupt the staring contest.

"It was only a dream. If you'd stayed, maybe the rest of us would have managed without you, saved the world all the same. You could have lived however you liked." Isaac hoped this was the right thing to say.

"You're probably crediting yourself with too much. You weren't that important." Felix readily agreed.

"Let the world be saved without me?" Alex turned to Isaac, ignoring Felix. "Let another reach the top of Mt Aleph, lay their hands on my future? I could never allow that."

"Your future...?" Isaac couldn't see how that added up. "Do the powers you gained there really make up for the last fifty years? You'd have lived as long as the rest of us anyway, if you'd stayed here. Imil gets plenty of water from Lemuria, as well as distributing its own water of Hermes. And you'd still have been a powerful Mercury Alchemist."

Alex looked away and held still, trying not to stray too far from calm. This was getting dangerously close to Mia's line of thought. If they all started seeing things that way... He didn't even want to consider how much more difficult all of this could become.

Isaac could see that Alex didn't much like this subject, but there was something he'd been wondering for a while now, and this still seemed like a reasonable time to ask. "I was given destructive power by the... uh, rock, but it didn't keep me from using any of my old Psynergy. Do you know why you can't use yours anymore?"

"The one-eyed monster was gentle with you, was it? No doubt it didn't want to hurt its chosen hero." Alex couldn't help but sound snide there, though he now trusted that Isaac hadn't _wanted_ to be given any part of the golden sun. Since it looked like he'd annoyed Felix again, Alex quickly answered the rest of the question. "I stood in the way of the sun, Isaac. It burned away everything else." He couldn't help but sound smug there, his lips curling into a smile. "I would never want to be anything else."

"...Oh. It's as well that you're happy with your powers, then. It'll be easier to get into the swing of things, that way. Now that you finally have a real life." Isaac smiled, trying to turn the conversation away from the golden sun. Its mention seemed to bring out a slightly glazed-eyed sort of false calm in Alex, though it wasn't as bad as it'd been at the House of Light.

"A real life?" Alex echoed, taking a few seconds to really react to the glib remark. He had just crashed and burned, and now they were... What? Congratulating him? Hadn't they seen for themselves the limits of his self-sufficiency as such an Alchemically mangled entity? Perhaps that incident would have gone slightly better if he'd had the foresight to escape a fight - but what sort of wretch had to keep escape in mind above all else? Winning a fight that one hadn't chosen could hardly be called winning - though losing it could certainly be called losing. For as long as he tried to get by in their world, he could only hope to pass as a caricature of a mortal put in its place... Why in the world was Isaac grinning about _that_? When Isaac tried to reply, Alex cut him off, angry enough that he couldn't help but snarl. "Don't - I don't care what you think you're going to say, don't you dare - "

"Careful." Felix cut him short, and while Alex was vaguely aware that it was probably for the best, it was still infuriating. (That he needed to be _told_ to be careful... That he had so little power that he _had_ to be careful...)

"A life. Call it whatever you like. You'll have plenty of time to adjust." Isaac figured it had been optimistic to expect much from Alex in a matter of hours or minutes. His mood swings were understandable, but they didn't say much for his ability to face real provocation. Isaac had to admit that Saul had been right to call him and Felix on their poor handling of a dangerous situation; it hadn't been fair on either of the fight's participants. Felix's suggestion really did seem like the best option, for now. "Try not to let today shake you up too much. We'll do what we can to see that things get better."

"What can you do beyond maintaining the status quo? How can you sound so smug when you speak of _that_?" Alex demanded, unable to see how the passage of time in and of itself could be construed as a good thing when mortality meant that his time was constantly running out, and that his life was constantly at risk. When time had done so much for him recently... Judging from the look Isaac was giving him, he couldn't even see the problem overshadowing any and every effort to make his situation liveable. "Do you really think I can be any more than halfway whole, as long as you're alive?"

Isaac could see Alex realizing what he'd just said. It only confirmed his assessment. He answered quickly, trying to let Alex know that he wasn't in any greater trouble for it. "Yes. I think so. If you give it time."

"Ugh..." Completely disgusted by the idea that Isaac could look at a decaying wreck of a human vessel and call it seaworthy, that he could carelessly dismiss the better part of reality, Alex wanted nothing more at that moment than to negate Isaac's existence, to erase every alien voice that had insinuated itself past his defences, starting with one... "I should have just..."

Without thinking, he reached for the sword he'd been given. It wasn't there.

Of course it wasn't there. Alex stared across the room, his face burning. They didn't even look surprised. And what good would it have done if it had been there? Waving a sharp object at a couple of powerful Alchemists... "For my own good too, I suppose." Alex managed, in a rather choked voice.

"It didn't seem appropriate. I'm glad you understand." Isaac still sounded sincere. Unbelievable.

Not daring to reply, Alex turned away, reaching for the wall to steady himself. The floor had to be still, really. He would never, _never_ want the ground to open up and swallow him again, but he'd had no idea anything could bring him this close to making that wish. Reaching for Alchemy to dull his senses, he tried to tune out the others, to escape the constant pressure of their presence for a minute or two. He had to calm down, he had to stop this, while he still had the chance.

Isaac glanced at Felix, realising that they had better do this now. Felix nodded and set up the barrier, a slight, quiet use of Alchemy. Isaac waited for Alex to finish his time-out, since he really seemed to need it.

A familiar exhaustion replaced the fading anger. Alex only wished he could have gotten there sooner. Remembering the chaos that had broken through his equilibrium at the House of Light, when he had been managing a fair approximation of calm for so long, he had to admit that the highs and lows now seemed to have at least slowed down and separated out, rather than striking all at once. Spontaneous emotion did have something to say for itself after all. Perhaps, in the long term, it really would be possible to weather it. He could keep moving; he wasn't trapped here. There might eventually be stable ground on the other side. If only he could last that long. The Venus Alchemists hadn't tried to leave or approach. They didn't even tend to make many sudden movements. In a great many ways, he had landed on his feet. He shouldn't have asked for the sword in the first place - he had only been setting himself up for a fall. He didn't expect them to treat him as they would anyone else. They were willing to pretend, some of the time. They acknowledged his existence all of the time. That was enough. It had to be enough.

He couldn't think why they would be willing to overlook this transgression and move on, but then, he still wasn't sure why they'd agreed to have anything to do with him in the first place. He would have to make use of their offer without understanding it. If he could only get out of here... He had been here for so long, so long ago. He couldn't forget the power he'd found here. It was too close. The sun behind him... He couldn't forget it here.

"I... yes. Perhaps... There's no particular reason to stay here any longer, is there? It is only a ten minute walk to the cliffs north of here," Alex told them, before remembering that they had lived in this world long enough to know the current landscape better than he did; "or at least, it used to be. The coastal path... there was always a good view. I wouldn't want to go into town. Not today. But we could walk..."

Alex tried to speak as though it were a perfectly normal thing to ask of them right now, though it felt impossibly absurd. He wouldn't really mind it if they ran into anyone he used to know; Felix and Isaac would surely manage the situation well enough that he would not need to hold too long a conversation. He simply didn't want to have to deal with too much at once, for the moment. He would have told these two that they were company enough - in that they were more than enough, and not nearly enough - but he couldn't even describe to himself how that added up, let alone explain it to anyone else.

The Venus Alchemists weren't replying. They were looking awfully hesitant. Wasn't this the sort of thing they wanted to hear?

"Or... somewhere else here? A room with a window?" Alex suggested instead. "I just - this room. We've been here too long. I can't see the sky. I mean... Isn't there anywhere...?"

They still wouldn't reply. Isaac wouldn't meet his gaze; Felix was watching this, looking increasingly annoyed. Eventually, when Alex was about to ask what was wrong, Felix decided to answer instead.

"You can't leave this room, Alex. Not now, not for months at least." Felix smirked, vaguely aware that he was enjoying this slightly too much. "You might as well take those wings off, now you're grounded."

"_Felix_!" Isaac couldn't believe he'd just...

"Then you tell him! Don't hesitate!"

Alex would have wondered why they were arguing, if his mind weren't reeling. He reached out with his senses and found the new barrier in the same place his had been, until it curved to one side of the door, continuing along the walls, floor and ceiling. Trapping him inside his half of the room.

"No... Isaac... you... no..." Alex couldn't breathe. It was already too late. How long had they been standing there, pretending to be on his side...?

"It might not be for so long. This is just to give you some time, let you work things out." Isaac explained. "You need - "

"No. Isaac, please..." They couldn't possibly believe that he needed this. Alex knew what this was really about. They had no use for him, and this was the simplest way of getting rid of him indefinitely. Putting him back in the ground would take so much more time and effort. Pushing off from the wall, Alex tried to move closer to the centre of the room, though it felt like swimming through tar. He might not be able to change their minds, but he had to try. It was his only chance. "I'm sorry, believe me, I'm sorry... Just now, that was... it was just frustration brimming over, I would never... I don't bear you any real ill will, how could I? I owe you far too much. Please, Isaac..."

"You used to work as a healer, didn't you?" Isaac asked. "There must have been times when you prescribed people a few weeks of bedrest. It's not a punishment. Take this time to adjust. There'll always be someone around. We don't want you to have to worry about getting into another fight like - "

" - with Saul?" Alex finished, wondering whether that was the greater part of the reason. "I... n-no... I'm sorry, I'll make it up to him however you say, however he wants, please! I'm no use to you in here, surely, if there's anything I can do, please, th-there must be something, Isaac..."

"It's not like that!" Isaac insisted. "I don't want either of you coming to any further harm. You can stay away from each other, okay? We don't want to see you get hurt again. And you don't owe us anything."

Alex couldn't immediately figure out how to respond to this condensed hypocrisy. He was allowed to avoid a free man while locked in a cage? He didn't owe them anything, except he had to pretend to relax, because they wanted reassurance that they weren't hurting him by utterly betraying him? They were using a convoluted excuse to try to keep him from making a straight argument against it.

"You want to go tell the others?" Felix asked Isaac, knowing that he wasn't happy about this. Alex was looking pretty shellshocked, and Felix could see it wasn't doing much to ease Isaac's doubts. Still, Isaac got up and nodded reluctantly, heading for the door.

"No! No, Isaac, wait..." Alex couldn't get through, couldn't reach. Voice, words, disintegrating against the barrier. Isaac stopped and waited. Alex tried, breathed, going with the assumption that Isaac was being honest, and was trying to keep him from physical injury, physical harm. Maybe that was the sort they tried hardest to avoid in their own lives. "Isaac. You're doing the best you can, aren't you?"

"I am." A sober answer. A good start.

"So was I. The fire attack, before he became a problem - it did, technically, cause physical pain, but I wasn't particularly bothered. It seemed meaningless. You do not need to keep me from 'getting hurt' at the expense of all else. As far as pain tolerance is concerned..." Alex slipped off his right glove and bit into his arm through his tunic, tearing free a mouthful of flesh and noticing, as he spat it out, that this seemed to have had quite an effect on the others. Rolling up his sleeve, he let the rest of the flesh from elbow to wrist die and slough off of the bone, hoping that this would prove a thorough enough demonstration.

"What the - What do you think you're - ?" Isaac stepped back, almost lost for words. Alex waited for him to finish his question.

"... Feel like healing that any time soon?" Felix managed. Alex gave him a blank look, then turned back to Isaac.

"Yes. Heal it." Isaac echoed, amazed that it needed repeating. Alex nodded, and was physically back to normal within a second. Isaac knew they had to talk about this, but he didn't know where to start. "How can you...?"

"My physical form would not be much of a biological entity if it did not function via creative and destructive processes. I have autonomy over the Alchemy that constitutes my body. I do not possess the sort of destructive Alchemy that could cause direct harm to others." This was true as far as Alex could tell from a morning spent above ground. He could understand Isaac's concern, and he certainly wasn't going to bluff that he was dangerous while he was begging for release.

"That's not what I meant. Didn't we tell you - "

"Didn't I tell you that I was with you by choice?" Alex interrupted, all too aware that he was fighting a losing battle. "What made you think this was necessary? In that fight... Dread is dread. Despair is despair. Physical pain can serve to intensify anything. When that sl... Laliveran - while I was waiting - I thought I could cope, because you had agreed - I didn't think I had long to wait, only so many more seconds there. But now that it is you, it is worse, because you were the ones... The reason I was able to leave... I could only turn to you... I can only ask you again."

"It's not like that..." Isaac repeated, though he wasn't certain he could convince Alex not to experience it that way. If confinement was so distressing...

"How is it not...?" Alex bit back the spontaneous reply; he could not afford to argue as poorly as Isaac on this matter. Though he was mortified to feel tears spilling over, he didn't correct the overstimulation of the lacrimal glands, because it didn't exactly run counter to his argument. The longer this went on, the harder it was to deny that they were being completely disingenuous. "Isaac, please, it would never have gotten out of hand if you had been there. I will not let it happen again, _you_ will not let it happen again, you said so yourselves. I'm still... Please..."

Felix went over to Isaac and laid a hand on his shoulder; Isaac relaxed into the touch slightly and nodded after a second, the only clue they gave Alex that they were talking telepathically. Felix caught Alex's gaze and smirked, and Alex drew a complete blank, just then, as to why.

"Listen." Isaac stepped forward again and forced a smile. "All of this, today... It's clearly been hard on you. Can't you try to calm down and rest here for now? We could talk about this again - "

"Are you really suggesting that a fight outside could sour the sky for me? Compared to - sealed in - after everything else?" Alex sank to his knees, losing hope at the inanity of their excuses. They were set on abandoning him here. Who knew how long it would be before they took an interest in him again, and let him back into the world that they were so proud of? He was completely at their disposal. What more could he do? "N-nothing out there compares, I don't care what happens - I have spent years screaming without pause, I have spent decades waiting to draw breath; if you give me another chance, nothing in the open air could ever be too much, whatever you ask of me, please..."

Isaac's mind caught on one phrase: _years screaming without pause_. For a few seconds, he couldn't figure out why. Then it clicked.

"Dad..." Isaac breathed, stunned, before turning and grabbing Felix's arm, unable to keep this to himself. "I don't think it was them..."

Felix glanced pointedly at Alex, who was currently staring at them both, paralysed by the local collapse of cause and effect.

"Oh..." Isaac let go, remembering himself. He still felt strange, electrified; he wished he could laugh, but the others would take it the wrong way. He couldn't let Alex hear what he'd figured out, but he could put it to one side for now. "Sorry. You were saying...?"

"... Please grant me another chance and I swear I will always...?" Alex summarised in one breath, running out of air rather quickly.

"You haven't used up any chances! I'm only trying to help..." Isaac trailed off, unsure what else to say. Alex didn't look remotely reassured. This was getting frustrating. Isaac was fairly sure now that there wouldn't have been as much harm in going back outside for a while, all things considered. If he'd felt this way earlier, he probably wouldn't have used this plan. But he was also fairly sure that if he'd gone about it better, he could have gotten Alex to agree to stay inside for a few hours, or for a day or two; it wasn't as if he couldn't stand being indoors at all. And if a barrier had gone up after Alex had agreed to it, he might not have liked it, but he wouldn't have panicked. And if that was a feasible situation, then Isaac knew he ought to be able to make up for the bad start and reach it now. If Alex would just calm down and listen properly... It went against Isaac's instincts to give up and go back on this plan without getting his point across first; surely it would seem like a weakening of authority if he gave in without getting Alex to understand his reasoning. That couldn't be a good idea, in the long run. It was a frustrating problem; the solution seemed constantly within reach, but he still wasn't getting anywhere. Isaac paced over to the barrier, trying to find a way to snap Alex out of it, to really change his mind...

And then Isaac had a brilliant idea.

Focusing his Alchemy, Isaac slid through the barrier, letting it ripple seamlessly against the edges of his form.

Alex completely froze as Isaac knelt in front of him to speak face to face. Fight or flight suddenly needed a whole lot more suppression. It would be such a very bad idea to go for his throat, here and now...

"You need the golden sun, huh?" Isaac smiled. "Fine. It's yours."

He received no response. It was quite a _loud_ no response.

"I'm not going to live forever. Even assuming I die of old age in ten thousand years' time, my part of the golden sun still has to go somewhere afterwards. I lose nothing by leaving it to you. There has to be some sort of Alchemy that can make sure of it; Alchemy can do anything." Isaac stopped to give his words time to sink in, hoping for a reply sooner or later.

For the first time since he'd been rescued, Alex was convinced he was hallucinating. Was he really at the lighthouse, the cliffs or the mountain? It must have been too much for him at some point... Vaguely wondering whether Isaac was going to turn purple or sprout a few extra heads, Alex squinted at him, feeling rather numb.

Then Alex realised why Isaac had said it, and it made sense, in an awful way. It was humiliating even to have to point it out, though the light it cast on the rest of the day was worse. What they must think of him... Did it matter how he phrased anything? "You're lying."

Isaac glanced at Felix, looking amused, and Alex followed his gaze. Felix looked stunned, in a seriously unhappy way. If he simply disapproved of the level of condescension Isaac had picked, he wouldn't look like _that_. So how did Felix think Isaac meant it...?

"I'm leaving my part of the golden sun to you, Alex. You don't have to believe me. You don't have to do anything about it. I won't let anyone kill me, but I'll never go back on this, either. I swear it, unconditionally."

"I wouldn't have believed this from anyone... Kraden was right, though. You... do inspire trust." Alex started to piece together the way Isaac must mean it. The way he was meant to understand it. "I don't know that I could... wait thousands of years. If I ever did act against you..."

"This would still stand. It's unconditional." Isaac smiled. "There's no pressure. That's the point."

"So right now, you..." Alex stopped, his eyes widening. Isaac had made things so much simpler. "Oh. I understand."

"Happy now?" Isaac asked.

Alex nodded, smiling slightly, though he looked rather dazed. "Yes... Of course."

"Right. So can you..." Isaac trailed off, as Alex was laughing slightly, staring through him.

"All that I ever... never..." Alex shook his head, his voice almost failing him. "That I would actually..." He noticed Isaac's expression, and tried to focus. "I mean... Th-thank you, Isaac..."

"Listening?" Isaac asked.

"Yes! Of course." Alex tried to look serious, though he still couldn't help but smile.

"We're only asking you to rest here for a while. We're still on your side. The world's not going anywhere. You won't get into so much trouble if you take things one step at a time. We're still listening. There's no need to panic. Would it really be that impossible for you to spend a day or two here and see how you feel afterwards?"

"... Whatever you require. As you ask. I would never have said it was impossible." It had seemed far too possible from the start.

"Thank you." Isaac sighed. At last.

"Please know that whenever you would grant it..." Alex hated to do this, for so many reasons, but he had to, for so many more. "Seeing everything again. It means... a lot to me. If this is such a false start, of course I will wait. Things are difficult, but whenever I keep in mind all that you have done for me, I do trust your judgement. Whenever you feel that we might continue, I will... I would... be grateful."

"What do you say, Felix?" Isaac asked, standing up to talk across the room. "I think he'd manage well enough today if we give him another chance now. We never did warn him."

"He shouldn't have needed a warning!" Felix snapped, thoroughly unhappy with both of them. "And it isn't a punishment. We're agreed on that."

"So - "

"You've made up your mind." Felix interrupted sharply. "Are you going to...?"

"Mm. Thanks." Isaac reached out and dissolved the barrier. A part of him couldn't help worrying, despite everything, that Alex would disappear as soon as it came down. He was heartened to see him simply staring at the space it had inhabited, still looking fairly stunned.

"Do you want a few minutes, still...?" Isaac checked; Alex hadn't gotten up.

"Oh... No. Perhaps we could see how Mia is doing?" Alex suggested, hastily getting to his feet.

"Good idea." Isaac was rather interested in seeing how that had turned out, too. He glanced at Felix, who wordlessly headed for the doorway. Turning back to Alex, Isaac was concerned to see him looking slightly unsteady on his feet. "You first."

It seemed to pass quickly. As they entered the corridor, Alex dropped something next to the displaced door. Isaac paused to look, and saw that he'd left them a couple of newly-made hinges. So, he could produce metal as well as stone. Quite amused, Isaac shook his head and continued on.

* * *

The group drew to a halt by a pair of frosted glass double doors. Sunlight glinted through the grains, the two faces it illuminated looking somewhat more serene after the short trip there. The overwhelming tranquillity of Mercury Lighthouse was hard to fight if you weren't worrying enough. Felix stood impassively to one side, out of the light, showing no obvious signs of impatience.

#Mia? How are things out there?# Isaac checked.

#Mmm? You're here? All three of you...# They could hear Mia mentally sighing. #Fine, for us. You probably shouldn't be seen out here, though, Alex.#

The path to the balcony had illustrated one of the purposes of the renovation work Kraden had talked about. Narrow, twisting corridors now wound between most of the rooms on each level, dotted with more doors than Alex had expected. Surely they hadn't divided up all the elegant old halls? The corridors along their route, as later and clumsier additions to the tower, had been windowless and sparsely lit. Alex followed the others outside, brushing his hand along the glittering glass as he passed, perfectly happy to refrain from marring it with shadow.

Isaac walked over to the railing, gazing at the scene beyond. Gathered in knots around the fountain in the courtyard below, the angriest of the crowd were still muttering and gesturing, glancing up from time to time. There were fifty or so of them, mainly Proxans and Laliverans from the look of it.

Beyond them were two or three hundred protesters, crowding round the foot of the Lighthouse and starting to point and whisper. Their signs ranged from hastily scribbled-on bits of card to elaborately lit works of Alchemy; their messages ranged from death threats to requests for a transparent trial; their responses at the arrival of two extra Governors ranged from angry yells to spirited cheering.

Beyond them, mixing with the fringes of the protesters, holding picnics on the grass and wandering either way along the road, were what looked like a thousand or more people. Isaac stared incredulously. They were reading books. They were sunbathing. A few musicians were playing to patches of the crowd...

"I sent Damien to the cafeteria." Mia sighed, sitting by the wall and staring glazedly through the railings, just as she had been doing before they'd joined her. "They should start handing out tea and biscuits soon."

"Have they... made any demands?" Isaac finally asked.

"There's not much consensus." Mia shrugged. "Want to ask them yourself?"

"Not really." Isaac wandered over to the wall as well. The nearer part of the crowd was settling down again as it became apparent that nothing was going to happen. "What have you told them?"

"Any concerns over the legality of Alex's status are to be brought before King Hydros. All other issues must wait until he is in a fit state to speak for himself, whensoever that may be." Mia paused, stifling a yawn. "... Is Felix going to just keep standing there?"

"Think so." Isaac nodded.

"What put him in such a bad mood?" Mia asked.

"We'll have to talk..."

The sound of laughter drifting over from the edge of the balcony gradually became audible, cutting into the conversation.

"I thought I told you..." Mia sighed. "Don't go thinking you're the first to figure out invisibility. You're just lucky nobody's watching too closely anymore."

"This is it?" Alex asked. "A peaceful protest? You have tamed your people well."

"This is a problem." Isaac frowned at the voice. "Those are our neighbours and friends down there. We'll have to make sure things settle down eventually."

"Quite." Alex gripped the railing and cast his senses down into the crowd, trying to see how many of the hundreds of conversations he could comfortably tune in to at once.

_" - wasn't even trying, I checked the records afterwards and - " " - thought maybe it'd go away if I drank a lot of - " " - anticipate some benefit from the restructuring, although it will take longer before we see the full impact - " " - or wait until it's fully insured - " " - hear everything I was saying delayed by about half a second - " " - found some vinaigrette dressing, for the salad - " " - all he said was 'you're gonna be with me when - '" " - rather be jobless and getting practice in than spending my summer - " " - shameless, the way they're - " " - so cute! I hadn't seen her since - " " - saved the seeds. The snapdragons - " " - want to live together, nevermind - " " - tooth marks?"_

"What put him in such a good mood?" Mia asked, sounding a little grumpy. Things seemed to have turned around, once she left. And when she looked closer, she still couldn't see Alex. He was better hidden than she'd thought.

"I'll have to talk to you about that later." Isaac sighed. "I need a word with Felix, too."

"Say, Isaac? This is lunchtime, isn't it?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. You're hungry?" Isaac asked, surprised.

"No." Alex answered honestly. "Ivan seemed offended when I declined his offer of breakfast earlier. If his conference adjourns soon, could we invite him to eat with us?"

Mia wondered whether he meant _"I'll be hungry by then"_ or _"I only intend to eat for political reasons"_.

"There is supposed to be a break soon. I'll see if they're on schedule." Isaac reached for his friend's mind. #Ivan?#

#Yes? Is something wrong, Isaac?# The Jupiter Alchemist's mind echoed with the murmurings of the conference hall; he wasn't completely paying attention.

#We were just wondering whether you'd have the time to meet us for lunch.# Isaac replied, experiencing a flicker of gratification at the way things were going now. #Is the meeting overrunning?#

#Overrunning? We've accomplished next to nothing.# Ivan sighed, his telepathy getting more focused as Isaac gave him the chance to rant. #Half the representatives of Kalt have left to talk to Prox about 'special trading protection'; as many of Bilibin have slipped off to check on 'suddenly ill' relatives in Imil; we've had three tea breaks already, and I've been getting more and more odd looks all morning.#

#Bad day to try and get such mundane work done?# Mia asked. #Same here. At least, for me. I think I'll be coming with.#

#Excellent. We've decided to reschedule the meeting. I'll have the rest of the day free. Hold on a moment...# Ivan faded out, returning a few seconds later. #Keisha wouldn't mind if you came round our place for lunch, and Hama should be able to make it too.#

#How gracious of you all.# Alex commented.

#Uhh... sure. I'll meet you all at the entrance hall in a few minutes. Oh, and Isaac?# Ivan added. #Talk to Felix!#

#I know!# Isaac replied, but Ivan was already gone. "Mia, would you and Alex go ahead of us? We'll be down soon."

"Fine." Mia sighed and stretched, still feeling way too settled here.

"Sorry to disturb you." Isaac smiled, recognising the feeling.

"Right. Some hurry..." She smiled back, forcing herself to her feet. "Just, you know... It can feel like..."

"Like you could sit there for hours." Alex supplied.

"Kinda." Mia admitted.

"Like your soul would seep away?"

"Of course not!" She snapped, not remembering. "Don't be ridiculous. Come on, we'd better go..."

Watching Mia leave, Isaac thought back to the first time he'd visited Lemuria. The lethargy of its inhabitants had seemed so strange to him. Since then, they'd all had more experience with Mercury. Or was it simply to do with growing old? Kraden hadn't ever seemed so tranquil. Isaac wondered how long he'd have to keep living in Lemuria before he felt the same way as all those old Water Adepts. What was it that Piers had said being out at sea felt like to him? Like being a part of something so vast... It had sounded odd. Wasn't that supposed to be the earth?

As the footsteps died away, Isaac glanced down the corridor, shut the doors, set up a quick soundproof barrier around the balcony, and turned to Felix. Clearly, this had better be good.

* * *

A short corridor's distance from the largely content mob outside, a marble statue gazed lifelessly across the water, its position unchanged for centuries on end. This one room had been left untouched. The Goddess deserved it.

Sitting on the left arm, Alex also gazed across the surface of the water. He'd considered himself the sole owner of this tower. Sure, he had left it vandalised a couple of times... Now people kept passing by, on either side. It'd be a while before he'd have this place to himself again... He was still invisible, for now. It was only sensible. Since their conversation with Ivan, though, Alex had sensed Mia keeping track of him, at the edge of his mind. That was sensible too. He didn't have the grounds to object. She was leaning against the statue's right arm. They weren't talking. That was probably for the best.

Sliding off the statue, watching the water swirl and glimmer, Alex sighed. No inch of the planet should be so devoid of this substance. No day should pass without it, let alone... It should be so familiar. How hard could it be to find happiness in the moment, at a time like this...?

* * *

"I had to stop him feeling like his life was on the line." Isaac started to explain, awed by the sentence he was capable of saying next. "We've helped shape a civilisation in which everyone on the planet can live in peace and plenty. That's... really something."

Patiently glaring, Felix evidently wasn't so uplifted by that thought.

"He can't kill me. Whatever he thinks he needs to do, we're not going to give him the chance. And this way, he's not going to think that's the end of the world. He doesn't want to start anything right now, does he? We called him on that earlier. Take away the urgency, and maybe he'll be able to give up on it, eventually. I don't want to let him throw away this second chance. If he ever does go too far... It would be bad for Weyard, I think, if it were to keep someone prisoner for as long as he's going to live."

"I know what your word means to you." Felix ignored most of that speech, too furious to bother with extraneous details. "You shouldn't have made an oath you don't intend to keep."

"You needn't worry there." Isaac smiled, touched all the same by his friend's concern. "I won't be the one to break this promise."

As Felix lapsed into silence again, Isaac made a private oath to always let his friends in on his plans first from now on.

"I won't need to! I can wait for him to turn it down. There's plenty of time. He won't want to live forever once he's lived a little longer." Isaac explained.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that..."

"He's only human." Isaac maintained. "You heard how he could have been, if he'd lived a peaceful life. How he still wants to be, or why else would he dream of it? Once the millennia we have ahead of us start to pass, these past few decades will seem so fleeting in comparison... Anyone's perspective would change. Life is tiring. Even at its best, it's tiring. To have to keep it up relentlessly, endlessly... Nobody could truly face that. Only someone with an empty life could long for immortality, fearing an end because they haven't yet started."

"I wish you wouldn't say..." Felix sighed, wondering how Isaac could have told him not to worry and expected him to listen. "I wish you wouldn't even think that way. If the rest of us could be there to spend even half of the years you have ahead of you by your side, we wouldn't hesitate. You know that. If you need a break, we can - "

"I'm fine! I didn't mean it as... I'm fine. I won't ever be alone. I do govern a planet."

"If he doesn't turn around soon, I can't leave it at this. The golden sun... You can't lead him on. I'll kill him before I let him - "

"Felix! I know. What difference does it make if I leave it to him on paper? I know you'll never let anything happen. I can make it official, I can write it into my will, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the Alchemy to transfer it exists. You can research it, if you like, but don't tell me either way. I'm sure I can still count on you to set about averting disaster without letting me into the loop." Isaac smiled, hoping Felix would finally understand.

"Yes. Of course. But there's... It's not as if I want him to die. If you make it clear where he stands..."

"I have made it clear. I won't set myself against him. I think it'll give him a better chance. Can't I count on the rest of you to step up to that task, if it's ever needed? After everything he's been through, I... it's not that I couldn't face it, but if there's one burden I'd rather my friends take from my shoulders, it's this one. You're always offering... I mean, I know it can't be much easier on the rest of you - "

"Okay! Don't worry. You're right, you can leave it to us. There was no need for him to become your responsibility in the first place."

"I still want to help him. I just - if I don't have to hurt him - tell me I'm not being far too squeamish."

"You're not being far too squeamish." Felix obliged him, trying to smile. Isaac had enough on his conscience already. Felix hadn't expected him to ask for help here; it was only a problem in that it left Felix with no idea how to continue the argument. Isaac's peace of mind had to come first.

"Thanks." Isaac smiled for real. "We should go meet - "

"Hold on!" Felix interrupted. "Kyle? It wasn't them...?"

"Oh. Right." Isaac paled, wondering how to explain. It was the sort of idea that felt more formidable when you had to say it out loud. "Alex said he spent years screaming. I think I must have been hearing him, not the dragons."

"You mean... the quest nightmares? No. No way. You would have known. If that had been him, you'd have known. You recognised him this morning. That was the first time he even tried telepathy, wasn't it?"

"They never sounded exactly like the dragons. I mean, all those fights to the death - of course they'd sound distorted in my dreams. When... the Proxans, our parents... they didn't really sound the same in real life, speaking and screaming, in human and dragon form. And all that really came through in the dreams was the pain. It could have been him. It must have been him... He wasn't trying to say anything through telepathy. If someone were in that much pain nearby, we'd sense their aura. But he was miles away, and the only connection between us was the golden sun. If I'd had any idea it was him, I'd have done something, I could have figured it out. All those nights, for all those years, it wouldn't have been that way for either of us if I'd just thought - "

"You couldn't have known. It might not have been him - yes, it might have been - but either way, it wasn't your fault." Felix could see now why Isaac's attitude towards today's problem had suddenly changed.

The nightmares in question had started a couple of months after the Lighting; whenever Isaac had fallen asleep deeply enough to dream, night or day, the screaming had been inescapable. Kyle had always understood his son's actions and had never blamed him; Felix's parents had felt the same way. The surviving Proxans had forgiven Isaac and his friends the day they arrived. Even so, the nightmares had kept Isaac's battles fresh in his memory. They'd all had their own problems back then, but Felix and the others had gone out of their way to look out for Isaac. His constant exhaustion had seemed all but inexplicable. His resolve had never faltered on their journey together; why should he have had the hardest time adjusting afterwards? The dreams had stopped after seven years; Isaac hadn't reached any particular turning point and hadn't expected it at the time, though they were all able to suggest a few explanations after the fact. Since then, the problem had recurred occasionally; it had sometimes lasted for weeks, sometimes for months, and sometimes for years. Isaac had never been able to predict the start or end in advance.

"... It won't happen again." Isaac answered, unable to really agree with Felix on the topic of blame, and unwilling to say so. "He'll never have to suffer that way from now on - or at least, it will never have to last so long. If anything does happen to him, I'll know what I'm hearing and I'll know how to stop it. We have to keep him safe."

"We will."

"Always."

"We'll always do what we can."

"I have to throw him a lifeline he can believe in, Felix. All this time, you've always been here for me, everyone has, and I can't imagine who I'd be by now if you hadn't, but he was... that he's even alive... I won't abandon him. Of course he's changed. I don't want to hurt him."

"I know. We'll all do what we can."

"Do you know what this means, though? It wasn't Dad. Saturos, Menardi, Agatio, Karst... It was never really them, I know. But whenever I tried to think about them because I seemed to be thinking about them, whether there was any way to make my peace with them... Puelle's right, they've been resting in peace. If I'd known I was no weaker than the rest of you - it wasn't my fault that I heard, it was a matter of Alchemy, cause and effect. It wasn't them... What they'd think of me now, if they were alive today..."

"They'd be flattered by all the extra attention."

"I hope so. It's so strange... I sometimes used to wonder what Alex would think, too, if he were alive today. When I visited Imil, or heard something I hadn't known about Vale..."

"Same here. I guess that's reason enough to keep him around."

"Oh, come on..."

#Are you two ready for lunch yet?# Ivan's voice interrupted.

#Yeah, almost.# Isaac replied. Walking over to the edge of the balcony, he brought down the barrier. At a time like this...

Feeling irrepressibly happy - despite everything, and because of everything - Isaac started forming a mass of Venus Alchemy far above the crowd. Within a few seconds, he had ready a cloud of wildflowers and confetti, which he let drift down and scatter in the breeze, to considerable applause. (Though the group by the fountain wasn't at all impressed.)

#Well, that was pretty.# Ivan observed, watching through Isaac's eyes. #Now are you ready?#

#Perfectly ready.# Isaac headed for the door, Felix by his side. #Onwards, to Contigo!#


	8. Shifts and Shallow Currents

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"The light within me shines like a diamond mine, like an unarmed walrus, like a dead man face down on a highway, like a snake eating its own tail, a steam turbine, frog pond, too-full closet burst open in disarray, soap bubbles in the sun..."  
_The Cribs, 'Be Safe'  
_

Chapter Eight: Shifts and Shallow Currents.

While the rest of the group gathered by the door, getting ready to leave, Alex stayed by the Goddess Mercury. Gazing at the pale, ancient marble, he tried to consider impartially, emotionally, practically, any other way... He tried to consider the question he'd asked himself, and the conclusion he'd come to.

He couldn't afford to make this morning's mistakes again. No more spontaneous emotion. Apply as many filters as necessary to make the adjustments Isaac wanted. It was not as if there was anything to regret. One way or another, infinity would come together eventually, all that he'd gained intact, the most beautiful revelations bearable...

Mia walked over to the space she could sense Alex inhabiting, meaning to let him know that it was time to leave. What could he be thinking about, that he didn't notice how everyone was waiting for him now? She stopped beside him, and found her own gaze drawn to the statue. The Goddess... Had the makers of this Lighthouse known the deity herself, to have carved an image of such purity, such compassion?

"Did you ever believe?" Mia asked softly, turning to the space next to her. After a silent moment, Alex turned and walked off. Mia sighed, and followed him back to the group. "Sure, it was a stupid question."

* * *

An easterly wind swept through Contigo, stirring the dusty streets and bringing a smile to Ivan's face. Approaching edge of the teleport pad that he'd activated to bring the group there, Ivan gazed down at his beloved hometown. From this height, the white canvas sheets roofing most of the stalls in the covered market near the centre of town were visible past the roofs of nearer buildings. Exotic building materials had been popular here for a while; walls of pale limestone, tropical hardwoods, and even pink marble could be made out here and there. These days, though, almost everything was made from the same local variety of wonderfully reddish-brown sandstone that their ancestors had favoured. The streets below were clear of the layer of soil that had built up in times past; in the midday sun, the paving stones seemed to gleam even through the dust. And at the top of that hill, over on the other side of town... Ivan never got tired of this view. His home. Alex joined him at the edge of the platform, visible once more, taking in the sheer drop between this level of the wall-less tower they had appeared upon and the next one down, and the next, right the way down to the ground nearly thirty floors below.

"So, why a tower?" Alex asked, smiling slightly as the breeze blew his hair across his face.

"Everyone here knew how much space one teleport pad took up. If we'd built all the paths we intended to add at ground level, we'd have covered practically the whole town center." Ivan grinned at the thought despite the company he was in. To his surprise, Alex glanced down again and started to laugh.

"Mmh, I see what you mean. That'd be inconvenient." Alex looked up, trying to see beyond their floor. "How high does it go?"

"How much longer are you planning on standing around?" Felix asked, looking very uneasy.

"Ah, right. See, there and there?" Ivan pointed out the two pillars standing beside the main tower, on opposite sides. "We tried to model them after the Lighthouses, but they're not as advanced."

"What are they?" Alex asked, looking a little confused. Ivan paused before he answered, trying to put his finger on what exactly the difference in the way Alex was conducting himself seemed to be, compared to earlier that morning. It wasn't just that he would laugh so readily, or that his words made more sense. It was more how he was actually standing next to him, shoulder to shoulder, and not really sounding aloof anymore. Was this at all what he had been like before, outside of battles and momentous events? There was no way the time in between could have changed him for the better - in this way, at least.

"They're elevators; they'll be at another floor right now." Ivan had expected Alex to get that, but it was probably one of those things that only seemed obvious once you knew. As they neared one of the pillars, the small pedestal that stood close by at the edge of the platform caught Alex's attention.

"Is there a lever here as well, or something?" Alex asked, running a hand across its surface.

"You work these ones by putting in a little of any sort of Alchemy - "

"Gahh!" Alex snatched his hand away as if it had been burned.

"What - are you alright?" Ivan asked, rather worried. There was really no way the mechanism could malfunction...

"Of course." Alex smiled cheerily. "Weren't you going to call the elevator?"

"...Yeah." Tapping the pedestal, Ivan tried to stop feeling... disconcerted? Disappointed? Alex had seemed interested in the design, which _had_ taken a lot of work, when it was made - but it wasn't anything to linger over, was it? He wouldn't have bothered point it out if Alex hadn't seemed so... Not that he was acting _very_ strangely, exactly. As far as he could tell. Definitely an improvement. If there ought to be more or less wrong... Well, that was Isaac's concern. This was a poor attempt at staying clear-headed! Ivan laughed at himself, stepping onto the elevator as it arrived, and Alex followed close behind, grinning as he watched the wide circle of stone spinning round the pillar at its centre.

"A weird design, huh?" Alex laughed as he stumbled stepping onto the moving floor, grabbing Ivan's arm to keep from falling over.

"It's actually easier to power it this way." Ivan explained. "As the edge is equidistant from... What are you all waiting for?" He asked, noticing that none of the others had followed them on. Isaac was still standing nearby, watching and smiling. Felix and Mia seemed to have stopped to stare in disbelief.

"..." Isaac paused a moment more, looking like he might reply, then shook his head and stepped forward, still looking proud.

"Hey, wait!" Felix grabbed his arm. "You're not worried?"

"Why? What is it now?" Isaac asked, concerned that he'd apparently missed something.

"..." Felix stared at Isaac, unable to find the words. Eventually, he sighed and turned away, leaving a very puzzled Isaac to follow him onto the platform.

#He never knew him, remember?# Mia told Felix, stepping on last. #He really... Right after - Seriously, _what _did you do to him?#

#Isaac can explain for himself a decision he made by himself.# Felix frowned, watching as Ivan and Alex continued their conversation.

#Huh.# Mia frowned too, looking as disturbed as Felix. #And this... What should we be doing now?#

#We can be here.# Felix answered. #We can worry.#

#Oh, great.# Mia sighed. #I came along so that I _wouldn't_ be worrying - at least, not as much.# It was easier to trust that her friends had things under control if she could see for herself. Especially as they'd already messed up a few times, without her around to help. Not that she'd done any better whenever she had been there...

Isaac could tell from their expressions that Felix and Mia were talking; what he couldn't discern was whether they were agreeing on a disagreeable topic, or just disagreeing. Well, he couldn't blame Felix, and he still had to talk to Mia - though he should probably catch up with Ivan first, since he'd missed so much more.

The elevator reached the base of the pillar, sending the dust billowing around everyone's feet as they stepped down onto the path. Without giving Isaac much chance to interrupt, Alex and Ivan set off down the street, still immersed in their discussion.

"Care to walk with me instead?" Mia asked, approaching Isaac with a smile. "While I'm afraid I can't match our dear Ivan's high spirits, I'm still keen to hear what exactly this decision of yours involves."

"I... sorry, I just..." Isaac trailed off when Mia took hold of his hand, seeming very amused by his expression.

"Whatever your plan is, Felix didn't sound impressed." Mia told him even so, letting go of his hand as they started down a side street to talk out of earshot of the others. (It seemed more secure than telepathy, given the circumstances.)

"He was impressed, I think. Just not pleased." Isaac admitted. The way they'd organised this, he was going to have to explain himself at least four or five times before everyone was up to speed... Silently, he prayed for courage.

Felix followed Ivan and Alex through the outskirts of town at a distance, listening to their conversation and keeping his thoughts to himself.

"...strange attire. I expected most everyone in Lemuria to be richly dressed, but that crowd seemed to be made up of people from every continent - and I swear, I've never seen some of those colours before at all, let alone in ink or cloth!"

"It's true, the industry has created lots more dyes from natural sources, and by traditional processes, but some colours simply didn't _exist _until they started developing that branch of Alchemy. Lemurian fashion hasn't changed much. Elsewhere, people tend to prefer styles derived from the sort of clothing that the well-off in their region would still have worn when you did your travelling - derived from those styles, but better quality now, of course. The newest and brightest designs tend to be favoured by the younger generation; that at least is the way things have always been, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, I could recognise by region plenty of the older folk, but I don't remember youths wearing glowing body paint, colour-changing stockings and... was that hovering jewellery?"

"Things have been changing faster than usual, of course..."

"I wonder why."

"Heh... It can be easy to forget that we didn't grow up with Alchemy. And even those who did have been exploring for themselves how to implement this strange power into their lives - into our civilization! It's all still a novelty, really, so the more flamboyant uses... we can't help but revel in it."

"This civilization's still so young, eh? I'd say the citizens of the great kingdoms and empires of old would have considered those fashions dreadfully flashy and unsophisticated, - "

"Exactly how much do you know about the last Age of Alchemy, Alex? Our records don't describe that period in enough detail for us to guess very much about the fashion sense of our ancestors."

"It's strange how much you can guess about their mindset by looking at the architecture they left behind, isn't it? I imagine you've rediscovered a lot - but the developments unique to your society are the most valuable, right?"

"What do you mean, developments unique...?" Ivan knew this probably wasn't the time for an interrogation, and he wasn't going to press the subject until Isaac decided that it was. Still, whatever Alex was willing to say...

"Oh, come on!" Alex shook his head, laughing amiably. "You can't tell me you're not worried about repeating the past. Whenever you set your own terms - "

"Ivan! A moment?" Felix appeared at his friend's side.

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Ivan smiled apologetically at Alex, then turned his attention to the very angry mind waiting on his other side. #I'm sorry, alright? But really, Felix, I don't think he's... Fine, fine! I get it. I'm sorry.# Ivan winced. When Felix didn't feel like thinking with words, he could give people quite a headache.

"Sure what?" Alex asked, sounding curious, as Felix fell back again.

"Eh? Oh, nothing." Ivan dismissed the exchange sheepishly. "Anyway, uh, clothes... Say, do you want to stop at the market before we meet the others? We could buy you a change of clothes if you want..." The look of complete incomprehension on Alex's face made Ivan reconsider that line of conversation too. "Okay, never mind."

"...Okay?" Alex smiled, seeming quite perplexed as to what he was supposed to be never minding.

"...Anyway, new colours!" Ivan grinned, reaching a bit for a safe topic. "The industry really has changed. I remember, when I was little, Master Hammet used to have timber shipped in from Hesperia. Logwood dyes always fetched the best prices..."

* * *

"...Eh?" Mia blinked, wondering if she'd heard wrong.

"Well, it's..." Isaac tried to find a milder way of putting it. "It's not as if we haven't all written wills, is it? This is just that sort of thing. And if it gives him a better chance..."

"But you can't actually - how can - "

"It won't come into effect. He'll make sure of it, you'll make sure of it - it's not like it gives him any more of a reason to want me dead. We're safe, and he's not, so we have to try to - I have to."

"You don't _have _to do anything, Isaac. We'll always do whatever we can to help you out."

"I know you will. That's why we're safe, whether or not I play any part in keeping it out of his hands. But you'll have to talk to Felix about that."

"Wait... you're leaving it to us to keep him in check?" Mia realized, relieved that Isaac was, for once, letting his friends take a burden from him.

"Talk to Felix, not me! I can't hear a word of it." Isaac insisted. "He'll be fine, anyway. A lifetime's more than long enough to teach anyone how wearying life is, even when it's good. Nobody would want it to last forever."

"Isaac..." Mia sighed. She always worried when he said things like that, but things hadn't been too bad for a long while now...

"So it'll all be fine." Isaac assured her, smiling in the sunlight. "Because life is good, and my friends are heroes," he added, his admiration for them all very clear. "And, you know, as unlikely as it may be, I can't help but feel that nothing in the world need ever be truly terrible from now on." If every wrong could be righted...

"...Is everything all right?" Mia asked, studying him carefully. He seemed a little dazed, almost, the way he was smiling - almost how he'd sometimes seem between -

"Actually, I... while I can't say that everything is and forevermore will be, there is something else I should mention." She'd be glad, even if it wasn't really realistic to feel as optimistic as he did right now. "You know, the nightma-?"

"_What_? Really? But you seemed fine this morning!" Mia stepped in front of him, grabbing his wrists. "W-well, don't worry, Isaac, there's been such progress in dream suppressants over the last-"

"They're over!" Isaac interrupted, laughing self-consciously. "Relax, Mia! They haven't returned and they never will."

"What do you mean?" Mia stared at him, very puzzled. "How do you know...?"

"I might have known from the start, if I'd ever heard more of his voice - if I'd heard him anywhere near screaming beforehand." Isaac explained cheerfully. "They weren't dreams. It was Alex, though I don't think he knew anyone could hear him - "

"They were all _his _fault? Oh, Isaac, how dare he do that to y-" Mia broke off suddenly, her hands flying to her mouth.

"M-mia?"

"Please tell me I didn't..." Mia mumbled through her fingers, turning rather pale.

"Hey, it's alright." Isaac told her, pulling her hands away. "Some things register a little sooner than others. That's all."

"Ye... I guess, maybe, but I - " She shook her head, laughing nervously. "Why does it all...? If my colleagues could see how I - how things have been, today, they wouldn't believe it, Isaac, they really wouldn't!"

"Nothing's shaken any of us this much for quite a while. I think there were too few of us earlier." Isaac answered gently. "The Jupiter lot can watch out for him for a while, once we get to Ivan's place. That'll be a relief. They should know what to do and what to say, whatever else might happen."

"Yes, and... And we _must _be compassionate." Mia added fervently. "We really must."

"Mmh. It's so strange, isn't it? I mean, all those group hugs, when you were all so worried about me - to think _he _should have been the one at the center!" From the way Mia's expression froze, Isaac gathered that this hadn't been the best thing to say. "Not that he would have, in my place... uh... Mia?"

"You do have a point." She grimaced. "It shouldn't be bothering me this much. He hasn't meant all that much to me since so long ago, it shouldn't..."

"As if you would ever stop caring about anyone." Isaac laughed. "Really, _this _from the woman who visits the jails twice a week whenever there's anyone in them!"

"It's not as if that happens very often." Mia replied, shaking her head dismissively. "And this is just so..." Pausing, she met his eyes; Isaac seemed to be perfectly happy listening. "It's so infuriating! A-and the way he thinks, about so many things, it's just disgusting! And if I speak a word against him, it snowballs into such a dreadful..." She closed her eyes, running out of steam.

"It's not easy, is it?" Isaac smiled. "I know what you mean, there. But still, please, don't doubt how much help you've been today!"

"I think I'll keep taking your word for that." Mia replied, smiling slightly even so. How did Isaac always manage to be so... himself?

"I mean it. Even if you only count how much help you've been to me..." Isaac briefly tried to think of an eloquent way of putting it, but gave up. "It's good to have you here. And it's true, isn't it, that you're here because you want to be?"

"That's just... I don't know why I'm even trying." Mia answered softly, her eyes on the road ahead. "Or why he is."

* * *

"...And that's how they get the little ships into bottles, right?" Alex asked, fiddling idly with his sleeve.

"Uh-huh. And if the hull's larger than the neck of the bottle, it's all assembled inside." Ivan nodded. "There's no point taking short cuts, or what would the point have been?"

"Ivan! Is everything alright?" Mia called out, as she and Isaac caught up.

"Everything's just fine!" Ivan replied, turning to meet them. "All sorted out?"

"Yeah. Do you..." Isaac looked around; Alex was standing behind Ivan, studying the ground while he waited, and Felix was gazing into a shop window in the shade nearby, looking about ready to strangle something... "Do you still need to hear about...?"

"I'll be with you in a minute." Ivan turned back to Alex, who looked up and smiled, listening intently. "We won't be long. It's a pleasure talking to you, Alex, you know that?"

"I hope... Eh? Thanks..." Alex looked slightly flustered by the compliment; from what Ivan could sense of his aura, he seemed almost desperately pleased by it.

Walking over to Isaac, Ivan tried not to grin too much. He knew there was more going on than he knew, and he could sense Felix's mood getting even worse - but it was hard not to smile when things were so far from the worst case scenario.

"So, what's with the wings?" Ivan asked as he and Isaac walked off.

"We went flying." Isaac answered. "Your house still has that shielding, doesn't it?" Ivan nodded. "And you're on guard, right?" Ivan gave him a strange look. "Right, of course..."

As she joined Felix, Mia glanced up the street; the market was only a few dozen yards away, and though it wasn't very busy, their group was still attracting a few curious stares from passers-by. Alex had wandered over to a shop window on the other side of the street. Unlike Felix, he seemed quite interested in the display, standing with his hand shading his eyes from the sun while he gazed at the colourful array of glassware and ceramics.

"Apparently, I'm to talk to you about... what Isaac's left up to us." Mia commented. When Felix frowned, glancing over his shoulder, she shook her head. "I know, not now. It's just... you two, referring me back and forth. It's almost as if you're not talking to each other." Felix kept staring grimly into space. "Well, we should keep moving, hmm?"

Mia started down the street, and Felix started to follow, but Alex didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, Alex! Come on..." Mia called out, trailing off when he showed no sign of having heard. Walking over, she frowned. "Would you rather wait here or something?"

He kept ignoring her, shifting slightly closer to the window to get a better look at a set of gilt wine glasses.

"We're going. Pay attention." Felix tried instead, with about as much success. "You can't-" He grabbed Alex's arm.

Alex pulled away, snarling and glaring indignantly; Felix stepped back, slightly startled, and Alex turned back to the window, his attention again absorbed by the display. Intrigued, Felix stepped in close again, waving his hand in front of Alex's face; he took no notice. Mia caught Felix's hand before he got around to poking him.

"Let him be!" Mia pulled Felix away from the window. "He looked-"

"Like he could have punched me?" Felix asked reflectively.

"More like he could have ripped your throat out." Mia finished. She'd half expected that Alex still wouldn't be speaking to her - but he wouldn't heed Felix either? "Looks like he really hates you too."

"Heh..." Looking away, Felix muttered under his breath. "Finally."

"What was that?"

At Mia's curious look, Felix glanced at Alex again and shook his head, walking off to return to his space on the other side of the street. Well, she had enough of an idea why Felix was so upset now. She went back to the window to wait beside Alex; it might not do much good, but somebody ought to stay close by.

* * *

"I understand." Ivan smiled at his friend. Why had Isaac been hesitant to speak of this promise? "He doesn't have to be your responsibility just because you spoke to him first."

"The other two took a bit more convincing..."

"Perhaps they wouldn't have expected you to step back and relax." Ivan shrugged. "You can't have heard any complaints once it was explained. You know perfectly well we'd do anything for your sake."

"It... heh, it sounds more reasonable when you put it that way." Isaac very much appreciated Ivan's perspective. It was unnerving and reassuring at once to have friends who would kill for him and phrase it that way. "I... I know it's not necessarily a part of the promise - it couldn't be - but I don't ever want to hurt him at all, you know? If it doesn't have to be my duty, if I don't ever have to raise a hand against them - "

"Isaac. I understand. It may never come to that, anyway. You've had a rough morning, but I'd say he's giving you reason to be optimistic."

"I thought so. I hope so."

* * *

Once Ivan and Isaac had finished catching up, they had to backtrack quite a way before they found the others. It didn't seem like anything bad had happened, though; Mia said they'd just decided to wait there, and Alex soon continued talking with Ivan. While those two rambled on enthusiastically about brushes and brickwork, setting quite a relaxed pace through the market, Isaac gradually tuned it out. (The others were trying _very _hard to do so.)

"It only - ow!" A shower of stones greeted the group as they rounded the corner of a souvenir stall - Ivan and his friends had, of course, been on guard, and hadn't felt the impact, but Alex appeared to have been caught by surprise.

Frowning, Ivan turned to the others, ignoring the children he could sense running away beyond the nearest row of stalls. Isaac had mentioned that Alex had freaked out over shielding earlier, but shouldn't he have said something more if Alex still wasn't using such routine Alchemy sensibly? He didn't look hurt this time, but if they ought to be doing more to protect him...

Isaac missed Ivan's gaze, watching as Alex knelt and picked up one of the stones. Alex turned it over in his hands, looking quite confused; he muttered something that sounded vaguely like '_tribute?_', then his expression went blank. He stood up as Isaac approached, glancing in the direction the kids had gone.

"What, you haven't stopped them?" Alex asked, sounding surprised. "Would you, please?"

"They're only children, Alex!"

"Eh? Yeah, that they are." He stepped back, disturbed by the edge of alarm Isaac's voice. "I thought I could - if you didn't mind, if I could talk to them, please? If I'm allowed..." Finishing nervously, he looked like he wished he hadn't said anything.

"I... yes, you can talk to them. I wasn't..." Isaac turned away, trying to stifle the urge to kick himself. "Felix, would you...?"

Felix nodded and teleported away; Mia bit back a '_wait for me_!', as he wouldn't have heard, and disappeared a second later. The questioning look Ivan gave Isaac was met by a shrug - was it any surprise that those two were so wound up? - and Ivan went to join them.

"Ah, Isaac... You do know how grateful I am, don't you?" Alex was hesitant to move. "Surely you know how thankful I am. How much it means to me..."

"Yes, you said, of course I haven't forgotten - and I'm glad, I really am - but, uh, aren't you going to - " Isaac could still see the graze on his cheek, where he'd been hit - wasn't he going to heal it?

"Right! You're glad, that's... of course..." Alex interrupted, backing away as Isaac stepped forward in concern. "So, and... now... those..."

As Isaac's frown deepened, Alex fled to rejoin the others.

Whispering amongst themselves, the children stood reluctantly gathered before the Governors. A purple-haired boy in a heavy green and silver cloak decided, with a bit of nudging from the nearest of his friends, to speak up.

"We're sorry we got you too, sir." The boy addressed his apology to Ivan, sounding only vaguely sincere. "But if you hadn't been standing so close, sir, we'd have thrown more than just stones!" Though he finished in a rush, he held Ivan's gaze daringly, while the black-haired little girl in black leather gloves and the Kimbobo lad with shapeshifting gold earrings both nodded behind him.

"Come now, Mark, there's no need for that." Ivan sighed. "I'll still let Natalie go to your party tomorrow, if you're worried about - "

"Hey, can I...?" Alex asked, a bit out of breath from running over.

"_Yes_, you can talk to them." Ivan told him. He really needed to ask twice?

"I, uh, wanted to thank you for the pebble." Alex explained to the boy who seemed to be spokesperson, his tone that of someone trying to fake enthusiasm for a disappointing gift. "It's really very nice."

"..."

Waiting for a reply, Alex started to look uncomfortable when they all just stared at him. "Wh..._what_?"

"Are you really...?" Mark asked, glaring suspiciously. This guy wasn't exactly...

"It?" Alex replied, leaning forward. "No... _You're_ it!" He tapped the boy on the shoulder then turned and ran off. After standing there in surprise for a few seconds, Mark turned to see that his friends were running from him too; with an '_oh well..._' sort of shrug, he started chasing them, joining in the game of tag seeing as it had started already.

"...Did you catch that?" Ivan muttered to Isaac as the kids scattered again; he hadn't noticed him arrive. Gazing anxiously after Alex, Isaac nodded distractedly, then ran off after him.

"Why, that-!" Mia snapped, glaring across the market. "Can't he go five minutes without _changing_?"

"I doubt it's out of spite." Ivan replied.

"N-no, of course not! That would be... such a deplorable thing to think..."

"Deplorable. Right." Felix rolled his eyes, wondering why Mia would doubt her instincts.

"...You didn't really give Isaac any trouble over his decision, did you?" Ivan asked. He wouldn't have thought it... "I know it'd be hard on you two if it fell to either of you, but I don't think Alex would still be acting like this if it were ever necessary-"

"You think he'd make it easy for us?" Mia asked softly.

"I wouldn't know." Ivan replied. "Still, you can't resent Isaac for not wanting to-"

"I don't! Of course I don't." Mia interrupted; she'd never hold something like that against her friend. Isaac had more than enough on his conscience already. "I get why he'd rather not... I mean, he's - he always thought it was his father!"

"So. We're all here to help." Ivan sighed. "Maybe we should catch up with them?" He was sure he could hear Felix stifling another snigger...

* * *

"Such sweet kids, aren't they?" Alex greeted Isaac, leaning against a building a good distance from the market. He was laughing as he said it, but his tone was too cheerful to really seem sarcastic. As his shoulders shifted against the wall, a few brown feathers drifted loose, making Isaac wince - it was as if he'd forgotten he was still wearing wings. Noticing his expression, Alex stood up properly, looking a bit more serious. "Hey, don't worry. Whyever they're mad at Ivan, I'm sure he can sort it out some other time."

"Alex, the graze on your cheek - you still haven't healed it." Isaac frowned as he walked over; it was so odd to see anyone walking around with scrapes or bruises these days, and in this case...

"Eh." He shrugged. "Doesn't sting anymore."

"Still, y-" As Isaac stepped in front of him, Alex stumbled back into the wall; seeming alarmed to find it there, he dodged past Isaac to a clearer space a few feet away.

"Would you _please _keep your distance?" Alex sounded a bit embarrassed to have to ask that of him. "I... it's... only as far as you would agree..."

"Uh, sure. I didn't mean to..." Isaac hadn't thought he'd been standing very close, but he should have known what - even if he didn't get what exactly wasn't - they didn't _need _to know what Alex was thinking. They had to keep him out of trouble, but this was... better behaviour, in that regard.

"That's alright." Alex replied, smiling brightly. "And thank you for your concern!"

Isaac stared at him, trying to figure out exactly how worried he should be. Faced with an inscrutable stare instead of a reply, Alex started looking apprehensive, though he clearly didn't intend to stop smiling.

"Isaac... I really only meant as far as - as is convenient for you, of course. You don't - didn't seem to mind - I can't thank you enough, you know that. Whatever you want... it will never be enough to repay you. I will be whatever you need me to be. Though I'd have thought that only so much would be appropriate in public, and I imagine our hosts are waiting for us..."

"I'm sure they are." Isaac couldn't figure out whether he'd gone badly wrong somewhere, or whether things were going as well as could be expected, under the circumstances. Anyone in Alex's place would be feeling pressured and paranoid - but Isaac had spent the entire day so far trying his hardest to make it clear that they were all here to help, no strings attached, and he had thought he'd gotten the message across pretty thoroughly already.

Alex started laughing at that reply, and quickly tried to stifle it, without much success. He seemed quite alarmed, as if even he didn't know where it was coming from. Isaac backed away a few feet, giving him a bit more space. That seemed to help.

"What's so funny?" Ivan asked, rounding the corner with the others.

"What... what kept you? It's still this way to your house, isn't it?" Alex replied, moving hastily to join him.

"For a few more streets. Did you -"

"I hear you're - oh, sorry." Alex stopped, noticing that he'd interrupted.

"What have you heard?"

"That you're married now - so is that 'Natalie' you mentioned your daughter?"

"...Yeah." As far as Ivan could tell, he was just trying to make conversation...

"Huh. Its weird, you don't look old enough to be a longtime parent, but I suppose age is relative! So, do you have much of a family now?"

"Sort of; six daughters, and I'm not getting any older! Say, what do you think of the town, now you've seen a fair bit of it?"

"Oh..." Alex lowered his eyes, going along with the change of subject. "Nice, I guess."

"We've bypassed the library, the museum and..." Ivan smiled, having momentary trouble thinking of something other than 'gambling sector' to add to the list. "...And the art gallery; we could show you the sights after lunch if you like."

"Nah. Such a lot of walking around." Alex sighed. "Can't we just kill time at your place?"

"I guess that'd be alright, for a while." Ivan answered. That plan wasn't too ambitious...

* * *

Master Hama arrived home at exactly the same time as her sister in law. Today, she hadn't felt like waiting alone. Still, it was clear enough to the other Jupiter Alchemist that today, Contigo's leader didn't feel much like talking either.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, those they were waiting for appeared down the street. Alex was leaning on Ivan's shoulder in a fit of laughter; Ivan's expression was a slight departure from 'was that joke really that funny or am I just crazy?'; everyone else was trailing behind, keeping their distance.

"We haven't kept you waiting long, have we?" Ivan called out in greeting.

"Not at all!" His wife smiled, walking out to meet them.

"Hey." Alex nodded to her, still trying to stop giggling as he reached out to shake hands. "I take it you're...?"

"Councilor Keisha." She answered, wondering how he would introduce himself. She'd been hearing some strange things this morning, but most weren't names anyone would use for themselves...

"Of..." He mumbled a bit, his breath catching. "...of Lemuria."

"Of of Lemuria?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Well, wonderful!" She grinned; he'd looked a bit puzzled when she'd hesitated. "Are you all coming in? We weren't originally planning on having lunch here, but that just means you can help choose..."

"Mmh, good. You know, Councilor, I've heard quite a bit about you, but not much of it from Ivan here!"

"Heh, really..." Keisha was surprised he'd heard anything. "I've seen you before, haven't I? I'm sure I saw you through the shop window here once, while your companions were stocking up on supplies." If she'd known then that Karst and Agatio had been about to try to kill Ivan and his friends, she'd have... well, she wasn't sure what she could have done as a shopkeeper, but at the very least she'd have overcharged them. "That was you, with the... blue hair, wasn't it?" She asked politely, realising that he hadn't been dressed any differently.

"Eh, probably. So what food did you say you had in...?"

Ivan headed inside first, and while the group was clustered around the doorway, Mia caught up to Alex, looking at his graze in the shade of the building and in the light of their argument. "You know, you really don't have to wear your bruises." She raised her hand unconsciously, and caught herself in time to avoid touching his face.

Master Hama waited silently by the door as the others passed by.

"Hama, your message..." Isaac lingered outside; she may have been making herself inconspicuous, but he'd been very much looking forward to talking to her. "About going with our instincts. You meant our most noble ones, didn't you? That's what we've - that's what I've been trying to do, even before... Whatever outcome you saw, it's still possible, isn't it? Right now, the way he's - is this any easier for him? Is it any better for him? You did mean... We really were meant to save him, weren't we?"

"Thank you for bringing him here." Hama gave him a thin smile, then went inside.

Very puzzled, Isaac stared after her. She'd sounded stressed out, and not exactly sincere. Surely she'd never be sarcastic about something like this?

Over the years, a fair few extensions had been added to Master Hama's house, which had been far from the smallest in town to begin with. While they passed through the lounge downstairs, Mia noticed when Alex stuffed his gloves into his pockets that his hair and clothes were actually looking a bit dishevelled, and Isaac noticed that Keisha wasn't asking about any of the things that he'd expected her to notice and not ask about - and as Ivan opened the door to the kitchen, a deafening, echoing cry from upstairs filled the air, filling Ivan and Keisha's eyes with alarm for a brief moment. A moment in which everyone else winced.

"MOM-OM-OM-OM-OM-Om-om-om-om-m-m..."

"Turn off the echo suit, honey!" Keisha yelled, striding over to the stairs; the others all followed her upstairs out of various sorts of curiosity.

"Oh, sorry..."

"What are you doing over here?" Ivan demanded of the teenage-looking girl standing in the hallway in a purple suit of armour, her helmet in one hand and a sleeping baby in her arms. When she frowned at his severe tone, he sighed and added, "You said you'd be -"

"I know I said I'd watch her today, but something's come up; could someone else take her this afternoon?" She flicked her hair behind her shoulder - a thick, blonde braid - and gazed beseechingly at her parents. At the back of the crowd, Isaac wondered whether his friends were going to introduce their kids; Alex was frowning at the baby, looking a bit confused.

"I'm sorry, dear, but you said you'd watch her and you must -" Keisha tried to tell her.

"Not even if I ask Neomi or Tara? Please, Lauren just told me there's a festival or something starting outside Mercury Lighthouse and -"

"A festival? Can we go there next?" Alex asked.

"Uh, who's he?"

"A Lemurian guest." Ivan answered.

"Right. Yeah, it's either 'cause the healers there are celebrating one of the patients coming out of a coma, or it's the sixtieth anniversary since the Mercury Clan in Imil defeated a tyrannical sea monster." She gave Alex a curious smile. "Lauren wasn't too sure." And she wasn't sure how an attacking sea monster could be tyrannical...

"Sixty-fourth." Alex mentioned helpfully.

"What?"

"It's the sixty-fourth anniversary." Mia explained, gazing worriedly at Alex. "And we don't celebrate it. That was when... several people died."

"Oh. So it's probably the coma thing." Ivan's daughter shrugged. "Well, you see, there's such a crowd there, and the rest of the band can all make it - Khanin's bringing his flute with the wave transformations, this is such the perfect place to try it out - and we're sure we'll make some money this time, if we pass a hat around, so please, _please_ can someone else babysit?"

"I told you, we still need you to watch her." Keisha sighed, all too aware of the crowd behind her. This wasn't the time or the place to lecture her daughter on her responsibilities.

"Mom, please! They need me!"

"...She said-" Ivan started to intervene.

"...Uh...?"

"Yes?" Ivan turned to Alex, who had interrupted with the apologetic air of one who'd come to the conclusion that nobody was going to explain unless he found a chance to ask.

"That infant - she's her sister, your daughter?" Alex glanced from one parent to the other questioningly, and they nodded. "So why is she Sheba?"

He received no immediate reply.


	9. Shiftless

Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun - which belongs to Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

"Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?"  
_Spike Milligan_

Chapter Nine: Shiftless.

Ivan looked to his friends, but it didn't seem like they got the question either. He smiled at Alex, trying to find an answer that didn't communicate any insulting assumptions.

"We didn't name her after Sheba." Ivan told him. "We think 'naming after' in general might not be such a practical idea these days."

"So what would you call _that_? I mean, her?" Alex asked, still frowning at the two girls. "I mean, it's not as if... You? You're incredibly similar, but not exactly..." He nodded at the elder sister. "Not exactly."

"Uh, what? I'm Pavla, and she's Anna. She's only called Anna." Pavla emphasized her sister's name even though she didn't get why this guy had asked that way.

"Right, so... Anna. Is she... I don't know, some sort of clone, or something?"

Getting a bit annoyed, Ivan looked at Isaac, who hesitated, looking round at Felix and Mia, who both avoided his gaze. Pavla was giving her mother a questioning look, and Isaac guessed they were in a private conversation; if so, he couldn't sense it, and he hoped Alex couldn't either.

"I'm sorry if it's the sort of thing you're not supposed to talk about..." In the heavy silence, Alex seemed to be getting a bit unnerved. "But how am I supposed to know what those sorts of things are? I just didn't get why Sheba would be here like this, it's not as if you have to tell me, but you don't have to just stand there and - "

"It's not like that! It's, um, just that... Sheba is the woman you saw earlier. She isn't here right now." Isaac smiled, wishing this conversation hadn't fallen to him.

"Uh... Yes. The last time I saw Sheba, she wasn't a baby." Alex gave him an odd look. "That's more or less why it seems strange."

"Right..." Isaac turned to the kids again, wondering if he might suddenly see why Alex was saying all of this. No such luck. "Well, she really doesn't have anything to do with her."

"Oh..." Alex blinked, not looking convinced. "...Are you sure?"

"We're completely sure." Ivan answered with a great deal of finality, taking an unconscious step in front of his wife.

"Uh, right. Sorry. Forget it." Alex looked away, finally cluing in that he was annoying Ivan by talking about his daughter this way.

"What makes you think she's...?" Isaac hated to extend the conversation, but if there was something strange going on that he ought to understand, then it didn't really matter that the subject was making his friends uneasy.

"You can tell who people are, can't you?" Alex replied, a slight edge of _'how many fingers am I holding up?'_ in his tone.

"Of course we can!" Ivan answered. "And my daughter's mind is completely different from Sheba's."

"Well, it would be, at that age." Alex earned himself a glare. "I'm just saying that's not an answer - I'm sure you know better than me who she is - "

"I'm sure I do, too." Ivan cut him off.

"If Sheba's free to help out - " Isaac suggested.

"You can't be - "

"She's been in the same room as her before!" Isaac reminded Ivan. This was received with a frown, but with an acquiescent silence even so. #Sheba? Is there any chance you and Piers might be able to help out sometime soon?#

#Wha- Hey, careful, honey!# Sheba's mind met his, then faded for a short while as she put him on hold. #Sorry about that, Isaac, we almost had a kid overboard there... Bah, they're such brats. Uh, well, we're not back yet, but we can come help if you need us - what's the problem?#

#We're having a slight argument with Alex over whether or not it's an argument over you. Would you come and be an example of yourself?#

#Oh... Sure, I guess. See you soon.# Sheba broke off, sounding puzzled.

"It's not an argument! I told you to forget it..."

* * *

Sheba and Piers arrived a few minutes later, having taken a slightly faster and more strenuous route there, to find the mood in the hallway rather subdued.

"So, why exactly are we here?" Sheba asked, standing at the top of the stairs with almost all eyes upon her.

"Wish I knew." Ivan muttered.

"Well?" Isaac turned to Alex, who didn't seem keen to reply, or to look at them now that they were here. "Do you still think - "

"I don't see why it matters!" Alex answered in a hurry, before that question could be finished. "If you say there's no significance to it, then there isn't any."

"No way. Isaac wouldn't have called me here if he didn't see some significance to whatever the heck's going on." Sheba noted the way Alex was staring at her now; he was looking increasingly weirded out.

"...You look tired." Alex sounded suspicious about that, for some reason.

"That's what you get when you do a ton of Alchemy without getting much sleep." Sheba smiled, slightly heartened to see him showing coherency, at the very least, and possibly concern. "On the last day of a voyage, we always finish with something big!"

"Does it really seem to you that they're the same person?" Isaac asked again - and Alex, who'd gone from staring to glaring at Sheba after those last few words, averted his gaze again.

"Who's the same person?" Sheba glanced around, though she hadn't seen anything unusual when she arrived. "Someone seems like me?"

"She doesn't!" Pavla hurried over to Sheba, hugging her baby sister. "She doesn't, does she?"

"Uh... no. Course not." Sheba ruffled Pavla's hair reassuringly, messing up the top of her braid, and mouthed '_who?_' to Isaac over her head.

"Anna."

"What about her, now?"

"Do Anna and Sheba seem like the same person, Alex?"

When Isaac questioned him again, a little louder than before, Alex winced, glancing at Ivan.

"I've told you what my senses are telling me. I'm probably mistaken. What more can I say?" Alex tried to answer Isaac without annoying Ivan - and without questioning why Isaac would undermine his efforts to make other allies. "I mean... weren't we supposed to be having lunch soon?"

"So they do." Isaac surmised. "Can't you explain it any better? If you agree that their minds are different, then what are you sensing?"

"Her presence. The part of it that remains distinct, regardless of age." Alex answered Isaac quietly; he could do little else. "At least, that is how it appears."

"You're taking this seriously?" Ivan asked Isaac, now that it looked like this really wasn't going to be dismissed. This was getting ridiculous. His family was normal. Alex was not.

"It could mean that there's a connection between Sheba and Anna. Some sort of effect that people haven't been able to sense before." Isaac reasoned.

"An effect of what?"

"How would we find out if we dismissed it?"

"You'd know, wouldn't you?" Alex asked Sheba. "You could just _say_, so what's with all this...?"

"What? I don't sense anything strange about her."

"Either you remember that or you don't." Alex pointed at the sleeping child.

"If I could remember being that age I'd have... wait..." Sheba paused, suddenly thunderstruck. "Would that be possible now? To look for such early memories..."

"You've never tried?" Alex asked, with a little disbelief. "I thought you were searching for your origins."

"Not these days! I'd looked all over the world by the time our quest finished, and I never found out anything about my past. I accepted things as they are a long time ago - before we were half as powerful as we are now. And our ship still can't reach..." Sheba stopped before admitting that she hadn't quite accepted her life as it was. There was only one place she hadn't yet been to, and though she knew she wasn't alone in hoping to explore it someday, it was the sort of hope she preferred not to draw too much attention to. Still, it was relevant right now, wasn't it? "We still can't reach the moon."

"We'll never be free of the moon." Alex corrected her.

"I guess not." Sheba blinked. "Wait... what?"

"So! What do you want to do, Sheba?" Isaac tried not to let the conversation get derailed.

"Oh..." Sheba looked at Keisha for a moment, and nodded slightly as the other woman shook her head. "Then... Ivan, Hama, would you two help me... have a look at my mind, see how far back I can remember with the aid of Alchemy?"

"Of course." Ivan nodded. This wasn't anything to do with Anna; it was something Sheba would no doubt have already tried, if it had only crossed her mind during the years in which they'd been powerful enough to make the idea plausible. As Sheba and Piers crossed the hallway, Alex started heading for the stairs back to the ground floor.

"Where are you going?" Isaac asked, stopping him before he got very far.

"If they're going to be busy with that, shouldn't I wait elsewhere?" Alex had assumed they wouldn't want him around while they delved into such personal Alchemy.

"Don't worry, we'll go get a room." Sheba assured him.

"Um... Mom, Dad, what should I...?" Pavla asked uneasily.

"Just go to the festival." Ivan dismissed her, happy to finally get her out of here.

"But... I'm sorry, Dad, I know it doesn't matter all that much. If you need me here..." It wasn't as if there was ever too long to wait before someone started celebrating something or other at one of the Lighthouses. The centres of reality, where the world felt most vivid... It didn't take much to get people to congregate there.

"It's fine. We'll watch her for now." Keisha took Anna back, giving Pavla a squeeze on the shoulder. "Go play with your friends."

"I..." Pavla bit back her protest, looking at her parents' faces. Nodding unhappily, she disappeared before they had to tell her again.

Sheba headed for a door a little further down the hallway, and most of the others followed her. Isaac wasn't exactly happy about having to 'wait elsewhere', but he was relieved to see Felix and Mia staying with him. Nobody else seemed willing to make good on their assurances that Alex needn't remain his responsibility. Isaac was about to suggest that the four of them get something to eat while they waited, when he saw Alex sit down by the wall, gazing after the others.

"Didn't you want to leave them to it?" Isaac asked.

"All of them? I... we're here... always best to stick together, isn't it?" Alex asked, smiling desperately. How could his hosts all run off and leave him alone with Isaac again? Hadn't Sheba only asked to borrow Ivan and Hama? How could some spur-of-the-moment thought experiment take complete priority over the wellbeing of a guest?

Isaac didn't have the energy to pick an argument with Alex while his coherence was on the wane. Felix and Mia looked like they'd already resigned themselves to the idea of waiting here. Isaac felt strangely out of step with his friends; it struck him how much their energy kept him going, most of the time. He tried to get back in sync with them both, naturally mirroring Felix's stance as they settled into silence in the hallway.

They weren't stuck there for long; it couldn't have been more than ten minutes before Isaac heard his friends quarreling through the wall. By the sound of it, the conversation had started off telepathic before their voices got caught up in it.

"No! It's true, it's true, you _know_ it's true! You can't - "

"I... Be sensible, Sheba, please! There's no - "

"Don't tell me to - "

"There's no way that can be right!"

"But we saw it, Ivan! You were there, we saw you before anything in Lalivero - "

"And what do we know about memories that old - about those parts of the mind? A preconceived figment - "

"You know full well we can tell imagination from memory! Always! You - you can't flat-out deny your Alchemy, or Hama's or mine!"

"But it's not possible! Sheba, come on, you know you're not my daughter. It's ridiculous..."

Ivan stood staring at Sheba across the table, and she stared back. Their chairs had clattered to the floor and hadn't been picked up. Hama stayed seated between Keisha and Piers, the three of them staying out of the fight. Little attention was paid to Isaac and the others watching from the doorway.

"It can't be? It just can't be?" Sheba snapped, quite distressed. "That's it? You couldn't stand to be related to me?"

"What - that's not what I'm saying! Why..." Ivan could hardly believe he was hearing this from such an old friend - from someone like her! How could a teammate who'd taught his children...? "Sheba, please, you know you're kin, there's no need to... want to be..."

"Want?" Sheba repeated, wondering where _that_ had come from. "We didn't vote on it, we saw it! I'd never have thought..." She had no idea what she ever would have thought of this, if she hadn't believed... Oh, Jupiter - Anemos! - how could she have fallen from the sky if she'd lived right here? How could she have been raised before she was born? She felt sure it was true, somehow, but it didn't add up...

"What did you see?" Isaac asked, ending the long moment unfurling between them. Ivan turned to him, unsure whether or not he was grateful for this interruption, but he waited for someone else to give their reply. Backwards-moving mind-melded memories were easier to share directly than to translate into words.

"Going back from my earliest memories, we were able to access older ones." Sheba tried to explain. "From when I was a young child, back to when I was a toddler, and then earlier... After the day I woke to the strangest view of Faran that we saw, the next thing we found before that memory was _them_, before I fell asleep; at that age, I didn't experience sight in exactly the same way, the field of vision was all strange and not so well interpreted, but I recognised my parents, and we recognised their faces well enough just now. She was... her..." Sheba tried to catch Keisha's eyes, but she wouldn't be looking up from Anna any time soon. "And Ivan was Ivan, as clear as... They were all that mattered to me. The younger me. And we kept watching for a few more moments, quite surprised, before he started acting like he hadn't seen himself right there a second ago!" Sheba glared at Ivan as she finished, quite indignant.

"Let's say that it's true, that you were my daughter. What now?" Ivan wasn't going to give up on stating the obvious. "Do we send her back in time?"

"You can do that?" Alex asked, astonished.

"No. Of course not." Ivan wondered whether 'obvious' meant the same thing to anyone else. "I was pointing out that it's impossible."

"Oh. It's not like it was such a wild assumption..." Alex muttered, a bit embarrassed. "I mean, you've built - and even Avani of Ankhol had her doubts about... oh... not that it..." He trailed off, having only attracted more attention.

"About what?" Isaac asked. The golden sun? He wasn't sure whether it could apply to something as godly as time travel while it was split in two. And the ancients couldn't have guessed that the Wise One would halve it, so their theories were irrelevant for now.

"What about what?" Alex replied.

"Exactly!" Ivan sighed. "We'll get better at this kind of Alchemy, Sheba. This figment is bizarre and irrelevant. There's nothing we can do but forget about it."

To Ivan's relief, nobody seemed prepared to argue with that. He couldn't imagine any of his friends asking him to give up his daughter on the basis of such nonsense. They'd been there at his wedding, and they'd been there on the day that Anna was born. It had all been perfectly normal and natural; there'd been no prophecy of overriding importance guaranteeing this generation a broken home. He'd been free to raise his children the way he wished he'd been raised. Anna was Anna; it was as simple as that. Righting her chair, Sheba avoided Ivan's gaze, suddenly feeling ridiculous.

Still, Isaac had his doubts. His friends - they'd never felt it first-hand. He'd never really used it. Never would. Even a half... Whenever he'd tried to nudge at the sun within him, he'd never gotten the feeling that there was anything other than destruction to be tapped into, and he'd certainly never felt any indication of an upper limit. It was like the void beyond Gaia falls; such anathema to life that he wouldn't willingly consider setting out alone to see just how far he could go. As terrible as it was, he didn't think his power was the type that could apply here - but he couldn't be sure about Alex's half.

"Are you sure you can't turn back time?" Isaac felt a little sickened, asking such a question.

"You have to ask?" Alex didn't sound upset, just surprised. But Isaac realized that he really shouldn't have had to ask...

"So... It's dismissed." Ivan added awkwardly. "Maybe we should..."

A folded piece of paper appeared in the centre of the room and drifted to the floor.

At first, nobody made a move for it. It wasn't exactly welcome. Mia eventually went to pick it up, seeing as nobody else was going to; when she started to move, Alex blinked, darted over and grabbed it first. Mildly annoyed, she waited for him to unfold it. He stood there, staring into space.

"Well? What does it say?" Isaac wasn't sure how important this was. Judging by the circumstances... It could be more important than anything else today. Isaac's thoughts could switch tracks quite abruptly, wherever the tracks ran adjacent.

"Say? What are you..." Alex frowned. He looked round at them all, quite confused. Backing away to the doorway, he eventually unfolded the paper, though as soon as he saw the inside, he rather wished he hadn't. Crumpling it in his hand, he wondered whether he would get a chance to destroy it, whether he dared, whether it even mattered anymore...

"What does it say?" Mia repeated, frowning at him. If he was still ignoring her... Really, he couldn't keep that up! She reached out to take the paper from him, and he jerked his arm away without looking at her.

"You must tell us. Really. It seems important." Isaac told him what he didn't appear to realize.

"Tell... what?" Alex blinked. "Nothing! I mean... It's blank. Nothing there. Bit of a disappointment, really." He smiled apologetically. Nobody was convinced.

"If it's blank, show us." Isaac requested.

"There's no point. Another silly distraction... Bizarre and irrelevant. I'm sorry if I worried you. Shouldn't we go - "

"There is a point; we're interested. Show us." Isaac smiled. Alex held tighter to the paper. "If it's blank, why won't you let us see?" He received no reply; Alex stood there staring at him. Isaac had to wonder if his heart was in it.

"Oh, give it here!" Mia tried to grab it.

"Ah-"

"Give that-!"

"Ow-"

"_Mia_!" At Ivan's incredulous exclamation, she stepped off of Alex's foot and let go of his wrist - and Alex still wouldn't look at her, wincing as he held his arm where she'd been twisting it - and she retreated to the other side of the room, quite embarrassed, wondering how exactly she could have gotten into that sort of a scuffle at her age.

"If you don't let us see it, what are we to assume?" Isaac asked. Alex stared through him; it was hard to tell whether he was listening at all. "Look, there's no need to worry. If it's bad news, we won't just take it at face value. We're here for you, but you have to trust us. You can't withhold a message that appears in mid-air when we're talking about time travel. We have to see for ourselves, okay? So... are you going to answer me, or...?"

Alex didn't answer. He didn't even blink. Getting frustrated, Isaac took hold of his arm - would he _please_ snap out of this? Alex drew a sharp breath, meeting his eyes with the look of one who was about to be thrown off the edge of the world. Isaac let go. If the message was _that_ bad, they certainly had to see!

"You must hand it over." Isaac held out his hand instead. "You really don't have a choice, here. You're in our care. We'll sort this out."

Alex's eyes followed his hand. "No. It's... nothing... It's blank."

"Whatever it tells us about the situation - "

"Really, it has nothing to do with that! You needn't..." Alex bit back his protest and lowered his gaze, crossing an arm in front of his chest defensively. "I'm sorry, but it's really none of your business. Ivan's right, this can't be what it seems. It's impossible..."

"I'll decide that when I - "

"Isaac, don't..." Mia still didn't sound particularly composed.

"It _is_ impossible - we know that! Let him be!" Ivan agreed.

"So you and Sheba... you take it back?" Isaac asked Alex. "What you saw was meaningless and false? What happens if we take that to be true? We hope it really is, or else my friend was never born? We must know what we're capable of - "

"Nothing! I... there's nothing..."

"You have near-infinite power!" Isaac tried not to shout it. "That is not nothing! If either of us can wield - hey..."

Alex turned and ran from the room. Isaac stared at the empty doorway. That was...

"Well done." Piers commented eventually.

"He's only in the kitchen." Ivan pointed out. They could all sense that perfectly well. "It's not as if he's really run off."

"But if we have to rely on him to take her..." Sheba couldn't even say it. If they had to rely on Alex to take a baby back in time and drop her from the sky... No. No way. Maybe they couldn't let him keep hold of his powers after all.

"What are you talking about? Even if - even _if_ anyone were to slip through time - it couldn't be by our hand. Human beings can't do that!" Ivan was still clinging to the obvious.

"We would be revealing the actions of the gods?" Piers asked, trying to consider it seriously. "They do call you their child." He gave Sheba a smile, which she returned shakily. That sounded more reasonable...

"I've never known Jupiter to take direct action." Hama spoke for herself, now that everyone had caught up with her. "And before you ask, you now know as much as I do about today's events."

"What would Mars, Mercury or Venus want with me?" Sheba asked; this strange speculation was taking the edge off that distant immediate memory.

"Sol, Luna, Fate...?" Ivan shrugged. "We can't possibly know what the gods have planned. There's nothing more we can do."

"We can't assume so." Isaac stayed by the doorway. How long were they going to spend debating this? The worst case scenario lay in inaction. "We have to know more."

"I doubt it's urgent enough to warrant snatching the note from him this instant." Ivan replied - with a sidelong glance at Mia, who tried to pretend not to notice. "And unless it tells us which deity to watch out for, then short of visions or a visit from the Wise One..."

"Could the Wise One have anything much to do with it?" Piers asked doubtfully. "It could barely delay the eruption of a volcano. What we're discussing is leagues beyond that."

"And the entity responsible would have to be greater, not lesser." Ivan reminded Isaac, still not sure what had taken hold of his friend. "_He_ couldn't do a thing against it."

"I think I could defeat the Wise One." Isaac muttered. It was an unsettling thought...

"Er... that's..." Ivan hesitated, and Isaac realized that the thought had, naturally, unsettled everyone.

"And I think maybe he... could..." Isaac glanced back out at the hallway. "Ivan, the memory - could you tell which night Sheba remembered, as an infant? What day was it for you, if she was Anna?"

"Last night." Sheba replied; Ivan seemed reluctant to answer, but while they had been working together, their minds had been open to each other. "That was what you thought, wasn't it?"

"And has Anna woken up since last night?" Isaac asked, his eyes on the child as she slept in her mother's arms.

Ivan didn't look at all willing to answer _that_. Keisha closed her eyes for a moment, reading her child's mind to find out the answer. "No."

"That doesn't mean - " Ivan started to protest.

"We have to know." Keisha interrupted him quietly.

"You..." Ivan stopped, not about to have this conversation here. He and his wife exchanged a look that left nobody else keen on hearing it, either. They both disappeared. Sheba's complexion paled as the silence in the room deepened.

"Ivan..." Sheba gazed at the ceiling; her eyes widened at the sound of a door slamming shut somewhere above, and she bolted for the stairs.

"Sheba..." Piers stood, hesitated a moment, and rushed off after her.

"...Huh." Isaac looked around the much-emptied room. "Staying with us, Hama?"

"Must I?" Hama smiled; Isaac had meant it more or less as a joke. "I have nothing else to tell you." With a brief nod, she took her leave of them. She would keep an eye on things, and if she saw anything more, she would let them know. In the meantime, she wanted to stay out of the firing range. It was no easier to be impartial with her family than it had ever been...

"What now?" Felix asked. Isaac was slightly surprised to hear him speak up again; he could brood for a lot longer than that. Mia walked over to join them by the door.

"...Alex won't want to hear it." Isaac couldn't blame him. In theory, they could take the message from him by force, but Isaac really couldn't stomach the thought. He'd told his friends how he felt, but none of them had taken it upon themselves to take over yet. "Could either of you - "

"No." Mia answered softly. "Absolutely not."

"What? Why not?" Isaac frowned.

"He doesn't want to hear anything from us."

"Did he look like he was listening to _me_?"

"He's ruled us out." Mia insisted. "If you can't convince him to cooperate, we can ask Jenna and Garet later; I don't think Anna's going anywhere yet. But someone ought to be with him now, all the same."

"Can't you even _help_?"

"It wouldn't help." Mia smiled. "Go on. Go. Now."

* * *

"Alex?" Isaac hesitated in the doorway. "Everyone's concerned, you know. For them, and for you too."

"Eh? Why?" Alex glanced over his shoulder, then continued rummaging through the kitchen cupboard.

"You still have that bit of paper?" Isaac tried to ask it casually. Venus... What was Mia thinking?

"The paper? Wasn't that blank?"

"No. You know - "

"Did you know they have lemongrass in here?"

"...No."

"And fennel." Alex smiled, quite charmed by the discovery.

"Fantastic." Isaac sighed.

"Rosemary..." Alex opened the jar, closed his eyes. "It smells just the same..."

"Listen. Please. We have to focus. We need to know whether... I wish we didn't have to, but we must know whether time travel is even possible, and we really do need you to cooperate - "

Alex dropped the rosemary, letting the glass smash at his feet. He turned back to the cupboard.

"I don't think - "

"Is there thyme...?"

"There's plenty of - "

"They're almost out, actually." Alex told him, pointing it out.

"...Oh." Isaac wondered how hopeless this was. "I don't think you should be breaking their things. Please."

Alex frowned, disappointed by the reply. "Have it your way, then. They're herbs." He slammed the cupboard door closed. "I'm not doing anything. You may as well leave."

"...Sorry?" Isaac paused, but the uncertain apology didn't seem to do much. "This is more important, Alex. We could really use your help. They can't ignore these memories of hers, however much they want to." No reply. Alex seemed to be waiting for him to leave. "Please! I mean it! This is... It seems like it's the very reason your return was foreseen!"

"It was foreseen?"

"By Hama, this morning." Isaac nodded. "Just before you woke me up, apparently. And... and I know a lot of things get foreseen these days, but we already know that this has to be important!"

Turning away again, Alex opened one of the cutlery drawers; picking up a cheese grater, he frowned. "How long have they had this?"

"I... don't know. It doesn't matter!" Isaac answered. "Please! If their child is meant to - "

"What's this for?" Alex picked up a hinged piece of metal, turning it over curiously.

"That... Would you just put it down? Come back upstairs and - "

"Fine. First things first." Alex nodded, pocketing the garlic crusher. "No help to you, though."

"What...?" Isaac stared. Alex had gone back to the spice rack. "Oh, come on..." He started across the room, but Alex held up a warning hand, and a jar of nutmeg along with it.

"Careful. There's broken glass between us."

"That doesn't matter! It's..." Isaac stayed near the door. He was shielding well enough that a bit of glass wouldn't do him any harm, but Alex seemed infuriated by his reply, for a moment; the expression faded fast.

"Should I fall unconscious again? Would that help?" Alex asked, smiling again.

"Eh? How would that - " Isaac ducked reflexively, and the nutmeg smashed against the wall behind him. Looking up to see Alex still smiling (and clutching the tarragon tightly enough that it was in danger of shattering in his hand), Isaac decided to retreat to the other side of the door for the time being.

Leaning against the wall of the lounge, he sighed, trying to think where to go from there. #Mia? Felix? How are... how are things upstairs?#

#They're...# When Mia had checked, Sheba had been sitting on the stairs beside Piers, squeezing his hand, while voices hoarse from yelling permeated the air; Mia had only caught "-_and_ _if you think for a second that I love her any less than you do_-" before beating a hasty retreat. #Unchanged, I'm afraid. How is...?#

#Mercurial.# Isaac complained. #Mia, _please_...#


	10. Dues and Deep Currents

AN: Sorry it's been ages. I've gone over the older chapters; tried to rework seven a bit to make it go where the plot needs it to go without being so awful, and hopefully the plot is a bit clearer now in chapters seven to nine. There are still bits I'm unhappy with, but I'll have to go back to them when I can figure out what to do with them. Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed; it's unbelievable how difficult it is to see one's own work clearly. Especially when a fic gets under one's skin to the extent that one writes it even when one doesn't really have the time, when one is too stressed to write it well... Heh, did I mention I'm glad to have graduated? I hope the story's still enjoyable, anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Golden Sun games - which are property of Nintendo/Camelot - or the quote below.

* * *

_A joke I heard recently:_

An extremely famous businessman was at a cocktail party, the first function he'd attended since his retirement. He looked around the room, spied a very attractive woman and made a beeline for her.

"Hello," he said, holding out his hand. "You'll know who I am, of course."

She looked blankly back at him.

"No," she replied. "But if you go and see the host, he'll remind you."

* * *

Chapter Ten: Dues and Deep Currents.

#Stubborn thing...# Mia's mind carried through her sigh, and Isaac didn't ask whether she was calling him or Alex stubborn. #I told you to wait with him even if there's no talking to him. If he can tolerate my company, he can certainly stand yours.#

#Wait? But we have to do something!# Isaac let his frustration show in his reply. #Why won't anyone else get it together and - #

#You know why.# Mia reminded him gently - and while that was true enough, hearing it from her helped, as he'd known it would. #It's a little hard to believe. I'm sure we can afford to let them argue it out. It'll be alright. We can't be _that_ short on time.#

#I hope not.# Isaac leaned his head back against the wall, letting the cool stone press against his folded wings. #I tried telling him we have plenty of time. Whether or not that's true... Not that he was listening. If that message gives us any sort of deadline for this, he'd better have the sense to hand it over before...# Isaac wondered what would happen if they tried to carry on as normal, Anna staying with her parents and never living out the rest of Sheba's life.

#Before our timeline stops working?# Mia found she couldn't take that idea seriously, even though she agreed that they would eventually have to do _something_. #I'm sure the gods will grant us a minute or two to sort ourselves out.#

#They'd better!# Isaac replied, perfectly serious.

#We'll all keep existing with you here to look out for us...# Mia smiled; Isaac was always so determined about things like that. #Hadn't you better be patient as well, though?#

#I know, I know...#

#Try not to prioritise.# She almost laughed; she couldn't imagine him ever really managing that. #Try to be nice.#

#I _am_ being... I mean... isn't the 'keep existing' part more important?# He could feel her smiling at him through their minds. #I know, we're not getting anywhere right now, you want me to just drop the issue...#

#Be nice. Be reassuring.#

#The way you always are? Come on, why can't you - #

#I told you, I'm not talking to him!# Mia answered, heartened enough from communicating with Isaac that she put it that way round. #You're good enough.#

#Uh, thanks...#

#What? Scared to face him alone?#

#Now you're being silly.# Isaac couldn't help but smile.

#Which I'll stop, if you do too. Are we to leave him by himself down there until they're done arguing upstairs? Because that might take a while... And you're not to ask _us_ again.# Mia glanced at Felix, who was holding his position by the door, staring stonily ahead. It needn't take all three of them to keep an eye on Alex. There was enough tension between them as it was.

#If you say so.# Isaac looked at the doorway, and hesitated. #Just...#

#We'll tell you if the others come back down.#

#Right...# Looking across the kitchen, Isaac resigned himself to doing as she said. He sighed and nudged the shards of glass by the door with his boot, reluctant to restart the conversation here. Over by the opposite wall, Alex was kneeling at about chair-height in the air by the sink, his hand hovering near the fine flow of water splashing down from the tap onto off-white ceramic; near, but not close enough to get wet. At the slight chinking of glass, his head sank a little lower, a few strands of hair swinging dangerously close to the water before he brushed them back.

"I'm sorry for... trying to be civil..." Alex murmured.

Isaac managed to refrain from telling him that when he put it that way, it didn't seem so. "...Sure."

"It's sure now, is it? So now, what is it you're... what are you..." The quiet question trailed away unasked. The water trickled by. A slightly louder statement followed. "It really is beautiful, you know. The water, and... And that was why..." Bubbles of silence. The words died again.

For a few minutes, the quiet reigned relatively unbroken. If he could have thought of a 'nice' reply, Isaac would have given it, but after dismissing 'yes, water is brilliant', he didn't have any better ideas.

"Mmh... you've stopped clamouring." Alex muttered. "But it hasn't stopped ringing in my ears. And - and it isn't even - I wish the eye of the storm were a little more clouded, really, even though that hasn't worked very well at all!"

A note of slightly choked hysteria wound its way into his words, and he gripped the edge of the sink slightly harder, keeping his other hand from shaking as the water passed it by. The knell couldn't be completely drowned out unless he stopped listening to _anything_... It wasn't as if anything could be literally unbearable, if he had no choice but to bear it. He'd learned that much. But he still felt far too mortal. To be here with a monster like Isaac, one which would probably manage to kill him for the power within him... Alex tried to put it from his mind again. He wasn't going to waste _this_ time driving himself in circles, now that he was free to put off the inevitable in so many other ways. They'd offered him water. He'd thought about it. The water passed him by. It would, wouldn't it?

"Do you mean you've... seen something? A vision?" Isaac wondered if he was talking about something besides that sheet of paper. He was sounding a little like a seer, in a strange way.

"Of course I'm not blind." Alex knew he shouldn't have been surprised to find another disingenuous insult sent his way. How could he _not_ see where this was going? "How you could all... I can't imagine what you could all have done already that you hardly even - barely even blink at the sight and ask - and, and _you_ - and now, is it so much to ask that you answer any question of mine? Even if... even so." Droplets splashed. Trailed away. Such a sight.

"Right, that's fine. What did you ask, again? About the stuff in the drawer..." While Isaac wanted to know what astonishing sight Alex was talking about, it did seem like a better idea not to press the issue after all. "I honestly don't know how long they've had the grater, and the other one was a garlic crusher. Anything else you want to ask?"

"I'm sure they've had it in store for quite a while. Whether it will last them..." The way things were going between the parents upstairs, Alex wondered whether those two would even be on speaking terms by the end of the day. He drifted through the distraction, not really caring to think how long it would last him. "So. It's for garlic... That's all? What's wrong with a pestle and mortar? I saw it in Tolbi; all those bits of metal, they looked like... some sort of torture device, almost. I didn't ask the stall holder what they were, of course; Agatio would have laughed, I'm sure, even though they hadn't had the things in Prox either, as far as I'd seen, and it wasn't important and wouldn't exactly have given the natives the right sort of impression, as if image and intent would still count for anything, still be ours to choose once - And if it had been a torture implement, I think Agatio would have been keen to use it on me, the way he would glare at me for every innocent comment, though Karst seemed to be anticipating _your_ colourful demise too keenly to spare much spite for her accessories, and I think I should ask: how did they die? I think that must be... You cannot deny that it is something I ought to know."

"When we reached Mars Lighthouse, we had to kill them." Isaac really wished Alex hadn't picked that subject.

"You..." Alex wasn't particularly surprised. "Was this before or after the beacon was lit?"

"Before." Isaac didn't want to do the Proxans the dishonour of lying about their deaths, but he had a feeling that mentioning the Wise One's contribution wouldn't do much for Alex's opinion of their benevolent protector. Nor would it be very 'reassuring'...

"Before?" That was a slight surprise. "If they hadn't managed it themselves by the time you caught up, I'd have thought them pragmatic enough to see the merit of a temporary alliance."

"They'd already transformed into dragons, to try to face the monsters there. It diminished their perspective." In a way, it was less of an insult to call it a tragic coincidence than to say that they had been judged unworthy by a higher power. "They did entrust the star to us; they died human."

"And of course it was justified, in that case. Of course they had it coming." An inescapable stream of thought. "Life is cheap, but you pretend that it isn't, and then who will fault you when you take it? Act as if it matters, so that it never does. How perfectly heroic."

"...If you say so." Isaac almost bit his tongue to try to keep from arguing the point. He couldn't explain what those deaths had meant for him. He wasn't even entirely sure that Alex had meant that the way he hoped he'd meant it... They weren't going to argue with him, question him or pressure him today. At least, that had been the plan that morning, however poorly they'd been following it - never mind that it was impossible now.

"And then - and so what will you tell people, about this? How false a story...? They'll say - what, you had to, the beast had it coming? Such a relief that you got rid of it after all?" Alex felt the words reach his throat, a rising bitterness. "Because you would be too noble to put it that way, you'll see that everyone else does. And only your allies will know, and then you needn't ever mention time travel to the masses, only self-defence and cot death. After all, powerlust is never a very popular reason for betraying any commitment, no matter how tenuous the connection, or how dire the need."

"...What?" Isaac spent a few seconds processing that. If he had it wrong, this might be a bad thing to ask, but... "Uh, did that bit of paper tell you I'm going to kill you?"

"Well wh... what do you _think_?" Alex snapped, wishing they wouldn't keep doing this, acting like decent people. There was nobody here to fool, and no time left; it served no purpose anymore.

"I think I'll need to see the message myself if I'm to -"

"No! Absolutely not! I told you, it's none of your business! Don't keep asking..." Fixing his glare on a corner of the sink, Alex realized how pointless a request that was. "I mean, at least, not unless... looting a corpse... n-not that it would... Wh-what is this, empty talking - what more do you want? What more do you need to know? Don't keep - I... I mean..." No, no, what was he saying? Just because he couldn't stand this - it didn't mean he wanted to tell Isaac to end this any time soon.

Though Isaac tried to find a sensible reply, he couldn't help feeling it was bound to make things worse. "Well, we do still need to know what exactly we're supposed to do, and how, and when, and why Sheba used to be Anna in the first place. And it would be... very useful to have some idea where the paper came from, and why, and - "

"_Where_? Where do you think?"

"The gods, maybe? We're not sure which it might-"

"Oh, so now the gods have Ivan's hands?"

"Ivan's...?" Isaac spent a second or so wondering why they would have them and why Ivan hadn't said anything about losing them, until something else occurred to him. "Are you talking about fingerprints?"

Turning away from the sink, Alex stared at him for a few moments, then took the crumpled paper from a pocket of his tunic; he looked down to straighten out the creases - keeping it folded - and looked back at Isaac, frowning questioningly.

"I can't see anything like that, myself. It's just a guess." Isaac hoped that answered the question.

"But you insisted it was significant..." Alex muttered. "You couldn't believe a sheet that we had touched would not contain some sort of vital information. Of course you could see the surface."

"Seriously, I can't see any fingerprints on it. I never said I could. And are you saying I'd handled it too?"

"Not you. Ivan." Alex had suspected that his vision was now somewhat better than theirs. But those marks were not particularly faint ones...

"So it had on it yours and Ivan's fingerprints? On arrival?" Isaac asked, keen to verify that.

"... You expect..." Did it mean to make him say exactly why it would be in its best interests to murder him as soon as possible? To make him ask for death? How malicious a persona was it trying to use? Turning back to the sink, Alex turned up the flow of water until the rush covered the noise of its breathing.

The water built up faster than it could drain away, bubbles rushing to the surface beneath the tap. Rippled shadows patterning the basin. It was so familiar. At low tide, watching unidentifiable things rot below the surface, obscured only by the glinting light, marbled shadows, the foaming of the waves... Had these people conquered the sea floor, as they had the skies? Or were the drowned still the only humans to have reached those depths? Alex tried to imagine all the Governors' faces decayed and disintegrated, glimpses of bone visible through the waves, scraps of flesh drifting loose in the water... Better to see that they all died with him than to die by their hand. A clear choice, surely... And yet, a little more nausea managed to seep in. It wouldn't be any consolation. Nothing could be any consolation. And as the water level stabilised, reaching an equilibrium, Alex realised he'd been silent for quite a while, and Isaac had once again let the silence stand without making any more demands. It must know what it was capable of taking by force. What exactly was it after? Turning the flow down, Alex let the water drain away, emptying his mind as best he could, waiting until there was some degree of calm left to his reply, nothing more than droplets left around the edges. "... Can't you try seeing for yourself?"

"I'll have a go." Isaac didn't add that he couldn't be expected to do so unless Alex kept the paper in plain sight this time. Closing his eyes, he focused on overlaying the Alchemy of his being with the required Alchemic energies, making sure to narrow his field of vision while he was at it; sensory overload could be disorienting. When he opened his eyes, the mess of creases and prints that appeared before him only confirmed that the paper had been creased and handled. He wondered what he'd expected. It wasn't as if fingerprints from the future would be all glowy or something...

"Well?"

"I guess it's... ah..." Isaac closed his eyes briefly, dispelling the alterations before they became much of a strain. "There are certainly fingerprints on it, and we could get it analysed to figure out whose they are, but you would have to hand it over for that."

"You don't recognise his hand...?" Alex knew that humans had always been able to see those details, or there wouldn't have already been words for them. Fingerprints, handprints... Those words really had existed, back then, hadn't they? How could someone forget their own friend's skin...?

"Those patterns are very complicated; people can't generally memorise or recognise them, even these days. Just because they're visible when you look closely... There's a difference between how well you can see and how well your mind can process that information. You really are powerful... And, you know, a powerful lens can start a fire."

"Hasn't it already?" Alex snapped, irked that Isaac would bother point out the stunningly obvious, and sure that calling him 'powerful' was some sort of cruel joke even though (and _because_) that was more or less the problem, and not entirely convinced that it knew as little as it was letting on. Realizing that it was probably going to give the rhetorical question a sincere and sensible reply, and not at all inclined to suffer such an inane farce for no reason, he added: "And yes, Ivan was the one who handed it to me, or to whom I handed it, given that he only held it once, but I... I will _not_ write it and that probably means you'll forge it once you can but I will at least have nothing more to do with it...!"

"Forge what? You wrote it?"

"_Don't_-"

"I'm not asking you to show me! Can't you just let me know why it's such an issue? It can't hurt to give me the gist of it. We don't follow the gods blindly, you know."

"Don't interrupt me, either."

At this request, Isaac kept quiet and waited, but Alex didn't seem to have anything more to say to him.

While he tried to put up with being ignored in favour of the kitchen sink, Isaac wondered whether it had been a mistake to ask about the contents of the message again. He really did have to find out about it as soon as possible. Never mind 'trying not to prioritise'; Isaac had to be sure that they didn't need to kill Alex before he could reassure him that they wouldn't.

"All that broken glass..." Alex eventually added, glancing at the seasoned shards on the floor nearby. "What else are you going to take a hammer to?"

"...There's broken glass between us?" Isaac asked, wondering why Alex was blaming that on him all of a sudden.

"...Yes. There is." Why would Isaac even _ask_ that? Alex had said it as a reminder - to remind Isaac not to forget itself - but the mere fact that it was so was not in any doubt. His life meant nothing to the Venus Alchemists. They had made that perfectly clear.

"Right..." Isaac figured this might be a more immediate concern than the time travel issue. "What was it, then, before I took a hammer to it?"

"How can you...?" Alex turned round again, trying to find some hint of an honest reaction in Isaac's countenance. "Don't you think I'd still feel some shred of gratitude if you had acted with any nobility, or even decency, or... or plain competence! I could have forgiven a little ruthlessness; you know you would not have needed to go so far merely to enforce coexistence, the mere fact that you are the embodiment of destruction is leverage enough! If I had your powers you would be dead a thousand times over, but I... I would never have..." He trailed off, not sure how surprised he ought to be to see only more feigned concern - not even a flicker of guilt. The water behind him started to steam, and he reached back to rest a hand on the tap. "How can scum as foul as you _exist_?"

"Believe me, I'm sorry for every mistake, especially if I'm... that is, if I haven't noticed - "

"It was no mistake..." Alex hissed, leaving Isaac somewhat lost.

"Now, look, you know I want to do all that I can for you, that's why we're all here - "

"Why do you still maintain this charade of hospitality? I don't know why you would think it advantageous to insult me any longer, and I doubt you are fooling yourself. If you think you can catch me off guard again, I'm warning you, I - you can't; if you try anything or - or if you do not at least try to watch what you say, I will leave without a trace and you shall all cease to exist, and I know I cannot exist either if the past doesn't happen - didn't happen - but if you think I never longed for a way to bring you all down with me...!"

Isaac figured that '_I'm not sure what you're on about, but you're completely wrong about all of us_' wouldn't go down very well. Still, if Alex really wanted to leave, he would have done so already. The only way out of a thorny situation was to clear the route... "Your powers are essential to time travel? How do you know that for certain?"

Though Isaac had been getting used to the gaps in the conversation, the way Alex continued staring at him vaguely incredulously made the silence that followed seem by far one of the longer ones.

"I tried. How else...?" Alex could see Isaac making the wrong assumption about where and when he had tried. "Not... there..." He didn't want anyone thinking he'd ever been idiotic enough not to have realised that going back in time to save oneself from the situation that prompted the trip would be a paradox. "Here. Just now."

"And what happened? Did you sense anything...?" Isaac asked, hoping for enough information to form a solid plan.

He didn't even get an answer - he only got himself stared at as if he'd lost his mind. Another long silence, when Alex just had to _tell_ him...

"I'm not about to start a fight, or anything like that." Isaac kept his tone as neutral as possible. "You would rather talk it over, wouldn't you?"

He couldn't tell whether or not Alex had taken that as a threat. Even though it wasn't _really_ one...

"There is..." The explanation trailed off as Alex wondered, again, whether it was worth it. If he left, he would have no more influence in any of this; he could only await the end he had chosen, unless he came back, in which case he would be in a worse position than if he hadn't left. If he stayed, he could still leave at any time. If he was careful. That was the only difference. And it wasn't as if Isaac would be able to make any sense of the truth; there was no real harm in telling him. "There is '_a barrier that must be broken without breaking it_'. That cannot be an exact way of describing it. I remember that I thought those words because I knew I would still be able to comprehend them afterwards. There must not have been anything else I could do."

Alex had left the others to find an empty room in which to try to manipulate time - he hadn't expected it to work, and it hadn't, but if you weren't going to give up then you had to go through the motions, with or without hope. He had thought he'd better have all his power at hand for the attempt, which meant he'd had to stop working against the Wise One's curse, and he hadn't wanted to be paralysed in front of his enemies, even temporarily.

If he'd proved capable of it despite only possessing part of the golden sun, he could have tried making a duplicate of the note, snatching the child, sending them back in time, and hoping things would work out somehow afterwards. They might not have killed him for that, if they no longer needed to in order to accomplish those tasks themselves. Provided they continued to act as bodyguards, he could have survived any other punishment as a condition of their continued protection. But he had failed, and then Isaac had come downstairs to _ask_ to kill him... It had been quite generous of them, really, to let him keep the golden sun until they needed it themselves. A part of him still wanted to be seen and heard until the end. He'd have tried to fight, if Isaac hadn't been shielding already; the consequences of a failed attempt on Isaac's life would suddenly have been worth the risk, now that he was out of time. If he'd had any chance - if he'd made better use of this day - if he'd known it would be this way - how could anyone make any sense of this world? To have held on for so long... If only he had known that it would not be worth the wait.

"Do you think you could manage it if you worked with one of us?" Isaac asked.

"I... don't know..." That concept hadn't crossed his mind. Could two finite powers in two separate bodies work in synergy to approach the level required? Why would Isaac attempt something like that when total power was available? "Why do you ask? Do you mean to offer my remains to one of your friends, rather than taking both halves of the sun for yourself?"

"No! Really, I'm not going to do that..." Isaac wished he could say something to disprove the bleak image Alex seemed to have of him. Actions were probably going to have to speak louder than words. "If we can do this as we are, then there's no need for any loss of life."

"You're not making any sense." Alex stared at him, his expression completely blank. "Why do you keep lying?"

"I'm serious. I'd like you to try again with one of the others."

"You do not need to outnumber me and you would not ask to do so... What are you trying to achieve by saying this?"

"I'm hoping you'll agree to try again with one of the others."

"The statement is no less absurd upon repetition. Why are you stalling using nonsense?"

"You're repeating yourself too..." Isaac sighed. "Why don't you believe me, then?"

"You wonder why your word here means so little after you swear to kill me...?"

"What? I never-"

"Do not deny it! You swore to ensure that I die before you, in order to render your oath worse than meaningless. You made an example of my freedom so that you could demand obedience on pain of imprisonment and death. You cannot deny it, y-you can _not_ pretend you never - !"

"No, I didn't... I never _meant_ anything like that by anything I - "

"You mean you were really going to give me the golden sun?" Alex asked, bitterly sarcastic.

"Well, not then and there, but it's... it was... I thought you got what I meant! I won't break my word - "

"Of course not! You won't have to, will you?" Morbid exasperation saturated the words...

"But that was... I mean..." Isaac paced along the wall a few steps, keeping anything even resembling nervous laughter from assaulting his throat. It was true that he couldn't be held to it if Alex died first, but he knew his friends wouldn't take a life too easily, and that was plan B, not plan A... It wasn't the same. It really wasn't the same. "I wouldn't make threats like that! You matter to me, like everyone else does, okay? It's not as if you're any more expendable than anyone else, I... believe me, you have no idea..."

Necessity was never personal - necessity _must_ never be personal. Hadn't he learned that lesson thoroughly enough by now that it ought to show, that Alex ought to understand...?

"I believe you; I do have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm asking for your help, here. Still. _Really_."

"... I didn't think it was a threat, at first." Alex met Isaac's gaze, making it clear that he was trying to make this clear, though he spoke almost as if talking to himself. "I thought it was a terrible lie. If you'd thought me demented enough to believe it at face value..." He shook his head slightly, to visibly dismiss that awful misinterpretation. There had been a better explanation. "No. You acknowledged me as an enemy, albeit not as a threat. You surprised Felix; he would rather have left me to rot, taking no chances with your life. But you had tried to rescue a pitiful creature for your own reasons; it made more sense to demand obedience and awe than to openly mar your record. You made an ironic promise, and assured me that the preventative death it implied would apply if I made an attempt on your life. Presumably, imprisonment would have remained the punishment for a hostile attitude. I found it hard to believe that anyone could get an ego boost by demanding such false gratitude, but in your case... your sincerity is astounding. I was relieved; you were conceited enough that I would surely have found a way to assassinate you, and detestable enough that I could actually hate you more than..."

Isaac wasn't sure why Alex stopped there - he meant _more than the Wise One_, didn't he? How could all that other stuff be less disturbing to say than 'that rock'? When Isaac tried to form a reply, even though he had no real idea what to say, he was interrupted, as though Alex had been waiting to cut him off. "A-"

"You would never let my life inconvenience you, and you would certainly never let reality itself fall into my hands. Do not lie so shamelessly about your intentions. It only shows contempt. Do you think that if you infuriate me beyond reason I will try to fight rather than flee? That will not happen. I reset its reflexes as soon as the need became apparent. I will not start a fight I cannot win. You've made your power all too clear."

"Isn't it in your interest to work with us if you think it's the only way your survival is physically possible, regardless of how likely it is that we'll allow it?" Isaac asked, trying to wrap his head around Alex's way of thinking.

"Your every word..." _If you think_... Could it even hear what it was saying? Not '_if it's the only way you can survive_', but '_if you're under the impression that you can survive_'... "Someone ought to cut out your tongue. No doubt everyone would appreciate the difference."

Rather put off by the idea that he'd be much better as a mute, Isaac figured he didn't exactly have to try to avoid annoying Alex if he already hated him. "You might have us wrong. Don't whine that it doesn't make sense, just help us out!"

Though Alex looked like he might have had more to say, he seemed to have given up on saying it.

"Well? Will you?" Isaac asked, checking that Alex really had stopped arguing.

"...I did not say that I would not."

"Okay." That would have to do. "Then I'll ask Ivan for the paper - it must have come from here, right? And I'll see who else wants to try sending it back. But first, I have to know roughly what it says; if you want to keep the details to yourself, you have to tell me why. It'd be too great an unknown otherwise."

"You _must_... A vague idea?" Alex looked away, at the ceiling - did Mia just say...? It didn't sound as though 'of of Lemuria' was a slip of the tongue, but he wouldn't have thought _she'd_ have misheard... Still, he kept his eyes on the ceiling. "I might have expected attempts at... that sort of harassment from humans, from the coarser lechers, but I... am sick of receiving derogatory communications from the aether, the last one wasn't nearly as offensive, it wasn't even real, - "

"Wait, it's... What?" Isaac was having trouble making sense of this. "Have you been getting obscene messages from the gods?"

"Can't you go five minutes without bringing the gods into this?" Alex snapped, looking down again, seizing the chance to change the subject. "We are the ones with infinite potential!"

"Yes... but..."

"And you are the one capable of taking the rest..." It was only after Alex added this that Isaac realised he'd meant the two of them, not humanity in general. For a moment, he'd thought they were of the same opinion there.

"But is it... really...?" Isaac gestured at the paper, wondering how its message could be so irrelevant to Sheba's fate. If it wasn't about Sheba, what use was it?

"If you do not intend to believe anything you hear from me, why tell me to speak?"

"No, it's... uh, don't worry. I'll take your word for it, for now." Isaac smiled, realizing that '_don't worry_' was slightly inadequate even as he said it. "We have to make sure it comes into existence the way it's supposed to. First things first. We'd better head upstairs and tell the others the plan."

"Bring them to me." Alex could see that Isaac didn't understand why he would request this. Shouldn't it be obvious? Why would he want to go back to them, to approach them entirely on their terms? "Whoever would be involved, bring them here."

"If it happened upstairs, you should probably try it there."

"Do you think I still need higher ground?" Alex asked quietly, his voice barely audible over the noise of the water behind him - boiling water flowing from the cold tap.

Isaac hesitated, but still tried to explain why it might be worth trying to make extremely difficult Alchemy no more complicated than necessary. "...I don't imagine moving an object through time would be easy. Moving it through extra space too wouldn't make it any simpler a task. It'd make more sense to try it from where it happened."

For a few moments more, Alex looked like he might argue. He left the room without bothering to ask again, keeping his eyes fixed dead ahead as he walked past Isaac. It was a more abrupt exit than Isaac had expected - but at least, he reflected, they were moving in the right direction now.

Before leaving, Isaac walked over to the sink that Alex had been messing with. It was strange; though the water looked boiling, it felt cold as far as he could sense - and he found it was cold to the touch, too. Steam seemed to swirl in the wake of his hand, though it gave no other indication that it was truly there. When he tried to turn the tap off, it wouldn't budge. He couldn't even sense how, but it was completely stuck. They might have to ask Alex to put it back to normal later, once they'd sorted out everything else.

* * *

Mia and Felix both seemed slightly surprised that he'd returned. Had they not expected him to humour Isaac this far? They hadn't been discussing its plan, whatever it was; he didn't know whether they agreed with it, or whether they were entirely in on it yet.

"Does it object?"

"To what?" Mia answered hesitantly, glancing at Felix; Alex seemed to be talking to both of them.

"Wasn't it listening?"

"Listening to what?" Mia remembered to smile this time. "Is there something you want to tell us?"

Alex looked away. He seemed set on ignoring her again.

"Sick of us already?" Mia asked, more or less trying to needle him now. She neither expected, nor received, any sort of response.

* * *

"... Any volunteers, then?" Isaac asked once he'd summarised things for the others, standing at the base of the stairs below Sheba and Piers.

"... Isaac..." Ivan wished he could believe that his friend was joking, but Isaac truly seemed to think this plan feasible.

Keisha listened from the hallway above, reluctant to get involved in another argument when the one that Isaac had just interrupted had revealed something strange. She wasn't sure whether anyone else had noticed yet. Anna hadn't woken up, despite the raised voices all around her. Keisha had looked into her mind again to find out why. If Sheba's memory was real, then Anna couldn't wake up while she was still here and now. So Keisha couldn't blame Hama - at least, she _shouldn't_ blame Hama - for keeping her asleep...

"We must know our capabilities if we're to understand the situation." Isaac wasn't entirely sure whether trying to send the note back in time would confirm or rule out the idea that the whole situation was in their hands; he was sure that they had to know.

"But is he really... capable?" Sheba asked.

"It sounded like he was able to sense something. If you can't manage it as a pair, we can try in a larger group." Though he'd never normally ask so much of anyone who wasn't used to working mind-to-mind...

"I guess it's worth a try, if you're sure he'll cooperate." Sheba didn't want to cause too much distress to anyone under her protection, or do anything _too_ stupidly dangerous, or overstep humanity's bounds - but she definitely wanted to make sure she would get to live the way she had done.

"I'm not."

"Well... then we'll see, at least."

Isaac nodded and led the way back into the meeting room; Mia moved aside as the others passed, having been listening from the doorway. Piers frowned, but followed after Ivan and Sheba without saying anything against this plan; you couldn't get much more noncommittal than '_we'll see_'.

"But... Isaac, really, you can't expect..." Ivan caught up with him, not entirely sure how to convince him that this was an awful idea when that ought to be perfectly evident already.

"What would you say we should do?" Isaac asked him.

"Wait! And... and pray, if anything. If the situation were truly urgent, the Wise One would not let it remain ambiguous; it would appear again and tell us so itself, make sure we understood what was asked of us... It wouldn't let us allow any catastrophe without warning us directly!" It wouldn't let them find out by coincidence, and it wouldn't let a madman be involved...

"Last time we thought we needed its help, it didn't appear. And we managed anyway, didn't we?" Isaac argued. "Our fate has been in our own hands ever since we won it back."

"But this is beyond our - "

"Alchemy is not beyond humans! It is us, and it is ours. Everything we do with it is our responsibility; if it weren't, the gods wouldn't have granted it to us in the first place!" Isaac made himself pause, remembering that he couldn't let the argument get too heated. It was a responsibility that he didn't think he'd earned, but he had to try to be capable, he always had to try, and he expected at least that much from his friends... "We have to look after our own."

"If the Wise One would appear in order to keep us from allowing a catastrophe, don't you think it would appear and keep us from doing this if we really mustn't?" Sheba asked, since Ivan still didn't seem convinced.

"And you think counting on _that_ is the safe option?"

"Who says there is one?" Isaac replied. "Besides, remember Hama's instructions this morning? Doing nothing certainly isn't my first instinct when - "

"They were about _him_, not this! You-"

"Instructions?" Alex asked sharply. He'd come with instructions?

"Just to be nice to you - but Isaac, we don't know what could happen - "

"So let's find out!" Sheba interrupted Ivan. "Unless you want to keep bickering?"

"You've made up your mind, haven't you? Nevermind what it would mean for me..." Ivan stopped. _Whatever it would mean for my family_ was no way to argue that the whole thing was meaningless.

"Why don't we bring in Jenna and Garet before we decide?" Mia suggested, trying to give him some breathing space.

"We can wait until we have something to tell them; it's not as if they know anything we don't." Isaac didn't see how their presence would give them any other options, it would be easier to explain once they knew more, and they still had other commitments.

"You cannot risk being outvoted." Alex didn't think this was an immediately dangerous thing to say, and he wanted to see their reactions. "Nobody here is contesting your power. They might."

"That's... not..." Isaac frowned, not sure how to reply to that, and Ivan cut him off.

"Still, why don't we vote on it? Who actually agrees that we should do this?"

Sheba and Isaac raised their hands right away. Mia spent a few seconds watching them both, reluctant to vote either for Alex or against her friends, then sighed and raised her hand. Piers spent a few seconds longer watching Sheba, and eventually raised his hand too.

"And who else disagrees?" Ivan finished, for completion's sake. "...Felix? Yes or no?"

Felix shrugged, glancing at Isaac.

"Oh..." Ivan wondered whether it was worth asking Alex, and figured he might as well. "And what about you?"

Alex threw him a disgusted look, and otherwise ignored the question.

"Hey, if you're not okay with this..." Sheba intervened, rather worried by that. It wasn't as if they _had_ to act immediately, as far as they knew. "If you don't want to work with me, say so."

"It's not my decision." That didn't seem to be quite the answer Sheba wanted. Alex was fairly sure she was asking for something along those lines. He tried again. "I'll do as you ask."

"...Okay. Thanks." She figured she got what he was trying to say - that he knew it was her business, not his, and he'd do what he could to help - even though he still seemed too out of it to say so all that clearly. Approaching Ivan, she tried to reassure her... friend... (She couldn't _think_ of him as what she was telling him he had to be.) "Don't worry. This is just a test. Anna isn't going anywhere unless you say so."

"You're not going to drop this, are you?" Ivan replied reluctantly; he was starting to think that she was more likely change her mind while facing the requirements of this 'test' than while defending the idea. And it was perfectly possible that, whatever she tried, they would simply fail. Safely. And he'd have been arguing to keep them from proving that time travel was impossible for humans, as he'd hoped.

"No, I'm not." Sheba smiled, holding his gaze until she was sure that he'd been conceding with that question. "So would you get us some paper?"

Ivan sighed, and headed for the desk across the room. Alex joined him as he opened the paper drawer, but seemed puzzled when offered a sheet from inside.

"This is what you need, isn't it?" Ivan asked, hoping he remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

"..." It took Alex a few seconds to understand the question. "... Are you blind? Are you all _completely _blind?"

Taking that as a 'no', Ivan set the paper down on the desk without replying; he was sure Alex hadn't intended to say quite all of that, or sound so angry. After a moment's thought, he held up a second sheet from the drawer, just in case. It didn't get a reaction. Wondering whether they were going to fail even sooner than he'd hoped, Ivan tried holding up one last piece. Alex snatched the correct piece of blank paper from him, then stood there, still waiting. Ivan tried to think why. After a few seconds, Alex tapped the next drawer down, giving him a hint. Of course, ink...

Alex picked out the bottle of black ink of the right colour, then pushed the drawer shut without taking anything else, shaking his head when he saw that Ivan was slightly surprised; that was all that was required. Retreating to a clearer part of the wall, he tried to decide what to do next. They did seem to mean to have him write it. Or to have him try to, or start to. If he was going to leave while he could, now would be the time. Doing so would feel like giving up, though, whether or not it really was. He usually took longer than this to decide on any action that risked proving fatal - but he always had to try, whatever it cost him, though he wasn't always sure in retrospect what he had been expecting, telling himself that he hoped and that he didn't, knowing what might happen - but if the only way he could stand to choose either life or death was to succeed or die trying, then he'd decided, hadn't he?

As he cast a screen of opaque air, Alex hoped nobody would move to see round the side; he didn't want to seem too separate, but this was _not_ a note that he was willing to write with anyone looking over his shoulder. (Isaac had told the others that it 'sounded like it might be personal', and that his cooperation 'seemed more important'.) After setting the paper and the opened bottle in the air, he shifted his weight, trying to balance so that he would stay standing. (And he had to acknowledge the weight of his wings for this, though he wasn't about to acknowledge them in any other way). Then he drew in his senses and freed up his full power, losing track of the rest of the room as he focused all his Alchemy on the task at hand; picking the right surface tension for the ink as he drew it out, ensuring that each strand of liquid met the mess of fibres in the right way, in the right place, and was absorbed to the right extent in each direction. When he was done, the writing on the original and the... other original matched perfectly as far as he could sense, but he couldn't truly believe that this was absolute accuracy, since that wasn't supposed to be possible without an infinite value entering into the equation. And he couldn't believe that an imperfect copy could work, even if that really was what the others were counting on. From the moment it had appeared, he'd known he was out of time. All the same, he had to try. Maybe Isaac would die of a heart attack within the next few seconds, leaving him the power he needed to get it right. Stranger things had happened.

Alex returned his Alchemy to its previous uses, expanding his senses and allowing himself movement again. Afterwards, he had the discomforting sensation of remembering that things had looked clearer, and different, but not being able to visualise exactly how they had looked. Still, his focus had been narrow enough that it felt like he could remember everything else, this time. He folded the note, then turned the nearby air translucent again.

"Is it done?" Sheba asked. When Alex nodded, she walked over and held her hand out to him. When he didn't take it, she thought she ought to explain. "Physical contact may not be a prerequisite for mental contact, but it does a lot to reinforce it."

"I did assume that was why you were always grabbing at people's hands and clinging to your friends."

"... Are you ready, then?" Sheba asked, not sure how else to reply; she'd never heard such an outdated, halfhearted semi-insult. There was no way she'd go around trying to read the minds of anyone and everyone she ran into, these days. She couldn't get away with it, for one thing, now that everyone could sense it...

"... Proceed...?" Alex wasn't sure why she kept asking for his reaction. There wasn't much that he was in a position to say, as long as he was staying here.

She reached for his hand, since he'd said to, and he stepped back to avoid her, staring blankly through her while she smiled and tried to seem more confidence-inspiring.

"It's okay. This is just a test run, understand? It'll be fine; it has to be if it was meant to be."

"This is meant to be?" Alex asked, almost tonelessly.

"Well... whether it is or isn't, we're willing to give you a chance, y'know?"

He grabbed her wrist, digging his nails in and managing to draw blood before she started shielding - at which point he loosened his grip, having made his point as far as he was able. He wished he could have made it more thoroughly, but it hadn't seemed like a good idea to try to seriously hurt her while her guard was down, given the circumstances, so he had settled on a lesser gesture.

She put on a good appearance of 'looking surprised but trying not to seem too alarmed' as she healed the scratch, though he knew it probably wasn't the way she really felt or she wouldn't be using it; the whole point of trying to leave an opponent with a false sense of security was that it was _false_. He still wasn't sure if approaching without shielding had been a deliberate show of arrogance on her part - most of the others were already on guard - or if she had honestly assumed that he was under their control, just because he was still here.

"What... uh, what's wrong?" Sheba asked, trying to ignore the quickly-stifled laughter across the room, since she could sense that it was involuntary.

"Do you think reality cannot fail you?"

"It won't. It's fine. We don't need to do anything dangerous. Just let's see what we can sense, okay?"

Alex shrugged (a meaningless gesture, but he'd been asked for _something_), and Sheba suspected that was the clearest agreement she'd get. He was still touching her wrist. If they demanded he didn't do anything strange, no doubt they'd never get very far. There was no way they could let him act alone, but if he really wasn't that powerful by himself, then working together was worth the risk. The Wise One had let him gain the power it had let him gain. She didn't think they were necessarily meant to take it from him. She focused her mind, and wasn't surprised when he kept his closed off.

#Ready?# She nudged him mentally, leaving her mind open to the connection, whenever he wanted to make it.

#We... seem to be.# He sounded surprised, for some reason. She sensed him go still. Then his presence seemed to shift, somehow, though she couldn't tell what exactly had changed. After a short pause, she received a word from him - a mere word, flat and empty without any tone or meaning accompanying it - completely bizarre, from a human, although they'd built Alchemical machines that could have that effect. #There.#

#Where? What's...?#

#You cannot comprehend the dimensions we are here to manipulate.#

That sentence felt more normal, though a little cold; he'd sensed that it was so and he was telling her so. Not that it was an encouraging message... #Is there nothing we can do, then?#

#Force.# A request. #I will filter it.#

After thinking a brief affirmative thought, she focused on sending a little energy to his mind, so that he could try to direct it. It didn't reach him; she sensed him blocking it.

#Don't aim at me. That doesn't help.# Clearly sensing her frustration at the lack of comprehensible targets, he gave her a more useful instruction. #You need only emit pure, untrammelled destructive power. Do not limit its scope by trying to direct it.#

Normally, releasing a lot of energy that way would mean blowing up the room. And when working with someone she couldn't trust, the difference between 'a small force applied wherever he directs it' and 'a large force applied wherever he doesn't block it' became rather apparent. Not that it was relevant, really, when she'd already decided to go for it.

#I have reason enough to see this through successfully; I live in the universe, just as you do.# His words didn't come with any annoyance. A part of her couldn't help thinking, _not quite as I do_, and he didn't seem to mind this either. #True enough.#

_She_ was annoyed, though, that he would reply to spontaneous thoughts - you couldn't choose such immediate reactions the way you could decide what to say to someone telepathically - especially since he wasn't letting her read his mind in return. It was bad etiquette - and once she'd thought so, he'd know, so she didn't dwell on it. She wouldn't be a danger to the others, if she singed the stonework it wouldn't be the first time, and she hadn't really been reluctant, exactly. He didn't reply to that, which showed he'd been listening, and she did as he'd suggested, emitting energy at a low intensity at first. It didn't do anything to her surroundings. Was he blocking all of it, or just all that she could sense? #Is it working?#

#Too weak.# At least they were on the right lines, by the sound of it. #Don't hold back.#

Ramping up the power by a comfortable amount, she was relieved when it had no apparent effect. #Are we there yet?#

#...You can do better than that. Please tell me you can do better than that.#

#Of course.# Reading her mind, he would have already known that she could, but the normal thing to do was to ask as if you didn't know; he'd adapted quickly to etiquette. That was good.

Going full out was a strain - not least because she and Piers hadn't gotten much sleep last night - but only one thing about it bothered her slightly. Even though she knew that they were doing this deliberately, the feeling of no longer holding herself back and still seeing nothing come of it, as if all her exertion couldn't stir a single mote of dust in the world around her... It wasn't much of a power trip. More the opposite. When she was about to ask whether they were getting anywhere, she felt a tug on her mind, slightly similar in feel to a teleport path that someone else was activating. Keeping it at arm's length - or at least, the mental equivalent - she sent Alex a querying thought, and received a prompt reply.

#I need you _here_ as well.#

So, it was really working... Suppressing a surge of excitement at the enormity of the feat they were about to accomplish, Sheba went with the movement and felt her surroundings slip away.

When one's surroundings slip away, one generally expects them to be replaced. Hers weren't. She'd been out of body plenty of times before, but never out of universe. Her mind's eye flipped between white, gray and black until she settled on imagining an out-of-focus gray; only those who had been born blind could go without even thinking of visual stimuli. Beyond her own mind, she could still sense Alex's, though she still couldn't read it. Nothing else seemed to exist. #So, where is _here_?#

#We are adjacent to the moment we have left; it is stationary relative to us. If you would just do that again, I will also be able to access the moment at which the paper must appear. They were three thousand, four hundred and forty one seconds apart. I'm feeding a separate time stream through our existence, to give us something to exist in. I'll let it dry up once we're done. There are no significant spatial dimensions.#

#Significant?#

#It's hard to explain.#

#You're doing pretty well, considering.#

#Are you ready...?#

#Right. Applying force...#

As her energy left the borders of her mind, it vanished from her perception, just as it had done last time. It gave her vertigo here, as if she was standing at the edge of a gaping void - as if her senses ought to be telling her so, and had been numbed rather than made redundant. She tried to suppress the sensation.

#That's enough. I've sent the note.#

It was over already? She would have liked to see it happen - even though, technically, she already had. If that was all there was to it, then there was something she had to check before the next trip.

#If we do end up taking Anna to Lalivero, can we go through into the past with her before we return? We have to see her off. I have to make sure she lands okay...# Though Sheba wasn't sure she could stand to drop the baby in the first place.

#That is perfectly feasible.#

#Good. Do you need me to open up the way back, now?#

#I never closed it; I need nothing more from you. We can return to the moment we left whenever we wish.#

#Let's go, then. We're done here, aren't we?#

#Perhaps I should rephrase that. I can return either or both of us to the moment we left, whenever I choose to do so.#

#... Yes. This is all thanks to you. I'll make sure the others realize that, once we get back.#

#Didn't you hear me? I need nothing more from you.#

#... ... Yes, we're done here. I must make sure to thank you properly, once we get back. I'm sure King Hydros will aid us in rewarding you. Do you have an account with the Bank of Lemuria yet? You've been such a great help, the least we can do is get you well set up for the future, now that you've proved yourself a valuable ally.#

#Alarm bells are ringing, aren't they?# He sounded far too amused...

#There's nothing to be gained from lingering here. You know we want to help you out in any way we can. Your current accommodation need only be temporary, if you'd prefer somewhere larger. There are well-paid research positions opening at the Lighthouses all the time; with your Alchemy, you could get tenure automatically. So let's go back and talk, okay?#

#Which would you say is worse: living on borrowed time, or flying on borrowed wings?#

Oh, come on - he was being facetious there, surely. #... I really doubt it's the latter.#

#You do not need to survive this, Sheba. I see no reason for you to survive this.#

#Really? I see a whole ton of them, carrots and sticks and human decency and everything in between. What is this about? I know you can see what I see.#

The silence weighed heavily on her mind. She tried counting to ten, and managed to suppress her anger slightly. It didn't do much for her overall mood. This place - this _lack_ of a place - had been creeping her out even before it all turned sour. As a natural mindreader, she had never before been so cut off from the mindscape beyond her own consciousness. The solid presence of other humans, whether they were open or closed to her, the warm undercurrent of mental residues and animal emotions, the faint glow of life in the air and the soil and the sea - for most of her life, it had been a more constant anchor than her own corporeality. And now there was only one other mind within a thousand miles of her, and it was _ignoring_ her...

#...Please, talk to me. So that we can sort this out. So... Why are you...? _Alex!_#

She received no immediate reply.


End file.
